How long should I wait to have sex in a new relationship?

I’m 19 almost 20. I’m a virgin. I’m not waiting until marriage or the one but personally I wanted to have sex as an adult. I had teenage friends who had sex at 15 ish and it most times ended badly. I was judged however I think it’s an adult thing with adult consequences. I’m on birth control and I’m dating a very nice and respectful guy and I’m still thinking to make sure I’m sure. But I think I wanna lose it to him. How long should I wait? I’m thinking 1-3 months dating max. I don’t wanna rush but I also wanna open that chapter of my life. So what do y’all think?
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Superb Opinion

  • If you’re not worried about this guy being the one, then I wouldn’t worry about a time frame. My advice is to look for signs of possessiveness in him before you take that step. Possessive guys get even worse once you start having sex with them and you don’t want to complicate your life by jumping into bed with the wrong kind of guy. Also look for signs of selflessness. If he thinks about your needs in general, he will do the same sexually. There’s really no formula or time frame to this. When you feel you’re ready and that he’s a safe choice, go for it.

    • What would you say are signs he’s possessive?

    • He’s jealous. He doesn’t like you going out with friends without him. He always wants to know who you’re with. He gets upset if you don’t call or text him back right away. He comments on your clothes bring to revealing.

Most Helpful Girl

  • There is no “should” when it comes to this.


    It’s literally just when you feel like it’s time.


    It’s really not all that special…but at the same time obviously you don’t want to lose it to a jerk.

    • Right however I for some reason am so picky on how why and when and with who for some reason. I met a guy when I was 16 and I absolutely loved him for nearly a year and I felt so much passion for him and I honestly wanted to tie this boy down he made me so 😈and i found out that he liked me as much as I did him. However he told me he didn’t want a relationship but was down for sex and I told him I wouldn’t have sex eight being in a relationship. And I never saw him again. I was so mad at myself because I wanted to lose it to him so badly but I couldn’t. The guy I’m talking to now is so sweet and he treats me better than any guy ever has. Plus at this point I want to have sex I’m sick of waiting. So I think things could work out I. Just don’t know how long to wait.

    • It’s good to be picky and there’s nothing wrong with waiting. You’ll know when the time is right.

Most Helpful Guys

  • No right or wrong amount of time.

    My girlfriend is 22, I took her virginity after we been seeing each other around 4 months, it was her 21st birthday when it happened.

    Previous ex-gf was 28 when I took her virginity, had been seeing her off and on for 7 months.

  • Until you both want to have sex and are prepared to prevent undesirable consequences.

    • I’m on birth control and we would use condoms too - but I’m deciding how long is appropriate to wait

    • Why do you believe there is any benefit in waiting?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • That seems reasonable to me. Do you want this guy as a partner?

    • Well it’s still soon to tell and I think we are definitely at the very least a month away but I’m debating really if 3 months is two long to wait

    • Three months is quite some time when you are horny.

  • Wait until you both have passionate feelings for each other and a pressing desire to do it.

    • Definitely but is a month in too soon do you think?

    • Probably too soon.

  • Is not the time, Hun; it's the trust. How much you trust that person you're with?

  • You're ready when your ready. Are you doing other things with him other then Intercourse right now?

  • What's the point of having sex with him if he's not the One?

  • I personally think it’s best to wait until marriage. Some guys are willing to wait, which is a great sign for a good relationship.

    • True and I grew up Christian. However I’m an adult and I don’t wish to do so for me personally.

    • Well, I highly recommend waiting until you’re very close. It will make it all the more special.

  • 1-3 months is a reasonable timeframe. I would base your timing on the quality of the individual you are dating and your connection/intuition.

  • he will leave u trust me.. he is respected and good man till he takes wht he want from u.. save urself till marriage

  • When it feels right

  • Wow that's way too long.. I'd never wait that long

    • Well personally I felt sex was an adult act with adult consequences and should be done as so. It wasn’t easy but I am glad I didn’t have sex in high school. I had friends who did and it ranged from a breakdown after his infidelity to pregnancy. So yeah I’m joining the game late and a little confused but I honestly don’t regret it.

    • As long as you are happy with yourself that's all that matters.

  • do it when you are confident and well prepared, that is important.

  • I say live with the person you love

    • True but I haven’t found anyone I love and I want to have sex and experience life and be happy. And I do hope I find someone I love.

    • I say do it with the person you want to marry😊

  • Til marriage.

  • 6 months. Anything before that will end the relationship.

    • Really why is that? I want a real relationship but I’m not looking for anything too serious right now. Plus I do want to have sex.

    • It creates an unhealthy sexual dynamic. If you don't wait long enough then you begin to view sex cheaply and don't value your partner in a loving manner. Instead you begin to view them as a means to your sexual gratification.

    • I can understand that. But do you think three months isn’t enough time to have a strong emotional bond before that?

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