How long should you wait before you start talking about weird kinks?

[Anonymous]

Recently read a book that kind of called my thoughts on this into question. I usually slowly reveal them over a period of a few months. I do this because I want the person to know that not only is sex with me really good, but I'm still pretty happy not doing the other stuff too.

But another school of thought is that doing that is manipulative and dishonest. And you should tell almost immediately.

As much as I think that's the better way in theory. In practice, I'm a really weird guy. I do rough sex where I tie up the girl and put a ball gag in her mouth and call her really embarrassing stuff. Pull on her hair. Make her say exactly what she wants me to do or I'll tease her until she begs me to keep going in a really submissive way. That stuff I'm mostly comfortable with, the weird stuff is I like feet and I actually really like having the roles reversed sometimes. Everything I just said I like having done to me. I've had a girl fuck me with a strap on. If she's sweaty, I'll lick her everywhere even armpits. Seriously, the weirder and more outrageous the better.

You're telling me that's something you bring up within the first month.

[MrBadd]

I move a lot faster than you do. When I first meet a girl, regardless of whether I want something casual or serious, I'm going to want to have sex with her within the first 2-3 dates, and if that doesn't happen I move on. I don't play the long game.

I'll reveal this stuff as soon as we've been flirting with each other a lot, the attraction is obviously mutual, and we've started talking about sexual stuff.

Most women will not actually find male domination that weird, many more of them are into it than you think they are. 50 Shades Of Grey was the fastest selling paperback book of all time, and it was women who were buying that book.

Some will not be into it, and that's fine, but I'd rather have them be put off and lose interest in me because I don't want a girl who isn't into it. We're not compatible. However the majority are. They don't tell me I'm weird, they get excited, especially if they've never tried it before but they're curious.

The femdom stuff I can see being a little more weird to them because less of them are into it. I'm not either, but again if I was I'd want to bring it up quite quick to weed out the girls who weren't open to it.

[slatyb]

If you would be frustrated without kinky sex, then you need to tell her soon so you don't waste months dating only to find you are incompatible. You don't have to tell her in detail. Also you need to think about what's really important to you. It can be difficult to find a partner into everything you are into.

[Jenny4455]

I'm very direct about fetishes. I dont date just have fuckbuddies and before anything sexual starts with a new one I always have a very direct chat about boundaries, about what I want and need and give them the opportunity to tell me what they want out of it as well. Avoids frustrations and disappointment later

[poneglyphs]

I don't know never been in a relationship

[Iron_Man]

That’s something that should be discussed right away you don’t want to end up dating a girl that’s bisexual and you find this out a year later

[Wise4myage]

I would base this on how open minded you think a girl is, but wait at least a few months anyway.

[Philyouup]

As soon as you trust her.,, then start out slow..

[MasterOfReality]

Yeah, you lost me when you went into role reversals... But hey, no judgements here. Everyone is different and likes different things... Those you mentioned could quite potentially put a lot of women off though, so you will need to be quite tactful when you bring them up. Maybe you could some how expose her to the activities going on between others along those lines and gauge her reactions?

[JamieLoves]

All depends on the girl.
Some immediately. Some longer