How many women are closet submissive?

Question

Is it something you want to try? Are you scared to find out you'll like it?

nightdrot · Accepted Answer

There is no way to statistically answer the question. Given that, to SOME extent (emphasis added) it is behavior rooted in evolutionary psychology there probably is some proportion of women who like the sense of being dominated.

However, even evolution plays quirky tricks. For our primitive ancestors, the male was seeking as many females as possible to impregnate. The alpha male getting the most females to mate with. The female was looking for the healthy alpha male with healthy sperm who could sire healthy offspring and then find food for mom and baby and ward off predators and rival males.

So you had a perfect set-up for dominant males and submissive females. However, as evolution went along - VERY long story GREATLY shortened - and man developed, in the male mind it became a need for bonding and for females it became about the man who made them feel special.

Thus sex evolved into romance. However, the primitive instincts are still there. Males, in varying degrees, still want sex with as many females as they can. The female still wants the male that is dominant and to which she will submit. Evolutionary psychology, culture, education, the dynamics of a couple's relationship and individual personality quirks all play their part.

With my girlfriend and I, we tend to a very primal kind of sex. Not in a BDSM, chains and whips" kind of way. Rather in an instinctive sense, like two animals breeding in a field - with licking and even some biting and scratching.

It is the funny part. My girlfriend is a smart, intelligent, and highly accomplished professional and a loving mother to our three children and a wonderful and loving partner to me. I, for my part, am a besotted milksop of a father and I love my girlfriend with all my heart.

Yet get us naked and put us in bed and I am an aggressive dominant male and my girlfriend submits and presents to me. She has even told me that she knows that it is - as she says - an old fashioned view but she believes that her naked body is there for my use to have sex whenever I need and want it. (Though because I love her, I for my part, try to read the signals and not push it. Even then, there have been times...)

We are lucky to be - as the cliche has it - "sexually compatible." Oh, and by the way, there are times when we reverse the roles and I act submissively or when it is just loving and romantic. The funny part being that even at our most animal there is an incredible sense of total honesty, total giving and total sharing that is itself deeply romantic and loving.

So is that "closet submissive"? Or is that just natural behavior between a man and a woman that suits them and helps them share an incredible physical and emotional bond? Actually, I think the latter and therefore the answer is that we all are, from time to time. It is the way evolution wrote the first pages of the script.