How much do fantasies matter when trying to figure out your sexuality?

Just wondering cuz im a little confused at the moment, any responses immensly appreciated!
1 3

Superb Opinion

  • Fantasies help you figure out your (potential) likes and dislikes. Sometimes fantasies realized are better than you imagined and sometimes not. And then again, sometimes you need a second outing/go of it to totally understand if you like/dislike or or are ambivalent about it.

    for instance, I have had bi-curious thoughts / fantasies since I was young. I am not attracted to guys at all, have no desire to kiss one…. It’s more of a curiosity/interest with the male member itself. I mentioned it to the wife…. specifically wondering what it would be like to suck one (she makes it look extremely fun). She setup an MMF with the main goal of getting a Ck in my mouth (an interesting/fun fantasy but extremely edgy/taboo for us). We went through with it. After it was over and she and I had time to reflect, we agreed it was interesting/fun and would like to try it again one day. I think a second try would be more enjoyable as there will be less internal stress/worry…and can relax and enjoy the shared experience. Hope that helps.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well depends on what you mean as fantasies. If you're a virgin or have only beginning sexual experience, simple variations on intercourse and oral sex could be fantasies. In this case, those fantasies probably detail some of your sexuality pretty well. If were talking just things like bdsm, roleplay, threesomes etc may have less to do with defining your sexuality and more just defining experiences you crave or turn you on imaginatively. Some fantasies you may never want to become reality, but they still excite you to think about.

    If some fantasies are derived solely from porn, they may have very little to do with your sexuality and are just hot visuals.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Fantasies can be really wide ranging and might not even be something you enjoy in real life. Sometimes its worth trying it out in a small way to see if you really like it. Are you talking about being interested in girls?

    • yeah but im not sure if im attracted to them but my fantasies usually involve women but I don't know if it really means anything

    • I feel like it at least hints toward your sexuality. I do know some like women sexually but not emotionally

    • maybe, im a virgin so would that decrease the chances that it means anything considering i haven't had any experience in that department?

    • Show All
  • Not much, considering most are impossible to follow

    • some are definitely weird XD

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 13
  • I think your fantasies could help you out depending on what they are. If you are sexuallly confused and u think trying one of you fantasies could give you some answers and make things less confusing then I say go for it.

  • You don't need to "figure out your sexuality". Just date people you find attractive.

  • Every once in a while my wife would wonder what it would like to be with a girl. A friend of her through work and I must say she is very attractive hit on her. I reluctantly agreed to let them get together a few times. She told me that she enjoyed the making out, but, when it came down to doing any direct stimulation on her she couldn't do it

  • Great question. Don't let the pursuit of your interests, curiosities, desires, fantasies, kinks, or fetishes be limited by your "sexuality." Sexual practices and sexual orientation are not the same thing. Worry less and explore more!

  • I think they can mean a lot for some people.

  • I think that kinda depends on the way you mean it. People can have them about all kinds of stuff.

  • What are you confused about?

  • Crucial.

  • I have heard its what you fantasize about that will give you the answer

  • Can be fairly important.

  • I couldn't be sure but I know that I fantasized about men for a long time before I ended in bed with one. Probably different for everyone.

  • probably depend of fantasy?

  • I don't have any fantasies, just love

    • thats sweet

    • Yes it's really sweet

  • I don’t think they matter all. There was a time when my favorite fantasy was being fucked by a centaur and a Minotaur. I’m pretty sure I would never go fuck a horse or a bull.

  • Very little.