How much of a turnoff or deal breaker is virginity in women for men? Also what do you think of virgin men, women?

I am 21 f and a virgin and I am dying to know what people think of virgins.

Please be honest! After all, honesty is the best policy and you're behind the mask of anonymity, so you can share your take on this subject without any inhibitions. I won't judge you for your opinion, I promise and I'd like to kindly appeal to readers of this post to respect one another's stances.

I feel like society really puts a lot of pressure on both sexes to lose their virginity as fast as they can. What I have observed is that losing one's virginity at the age of 14-15 has become the norm in the western world whereas people who are still virgin at the age 20,21,22. and so on are seen as losers or even abnormal. (Though this phenomenon is becoming increasingly prevalent in other cultures too due to the effects of westernization.)(To clarify: I don't really agree with this but this is what the mainstream always implies by making us believe that if we don't lose our virginity by a certain age (preferably before eighteen), that means we are undesirable. And what I have read and heard from guys seems to confirm my suspicion that virgins are seen undateable and inadequate dating material overall. I think it's sad that we live in such a competitive world that even the amount sex one has become a main determinant of one's worth in the eye's of others and that this causes virgins to be perceived as losers and undateable even by those who find these virgins attractive.

Again, please be honest. I promise I won't judge.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well the most common age in surveys still seems to be around 17 and I think that is biologically driven. The female body can carry a child then. Technically it is possible after the first period but not good in practice.

    It seems to be quite frequent to put young girls on oral birth control for nominally 'other' reasons like regulating periods but is also giving parential approval for early sex. Quite possibly it is done to avoid a pregnant 15 yo daughter. Harm minimization.

    Notably girls from fatherless households lose their virginity very early - maybe 12. Perhaps seeking masculinity in their life that girls with fathers have automatically.

    Boys/men have good reason to prefer non-virgins in the teens and early 20's because they put out. Getting sex, which by definition virgins won't give them, is most important in those years.

    Men have good reason to prefer virgins in the late 20's and early 30's because that is the stable relationship, starting a family phase of life. It is important then that she will not cheat or divorce. A girl that has resisted temptation and remained a virgin is a pretty good qualification.

    There are interesting statistics that women who were virgins at marriage are significantly happier in their marriage than women who have had just one prior partner. Just one! After that wife happiness decreases steadily with more prior partners though it seems to plateau down to a low at about 30 prior partners.

    So a virgin bride will be a happier wife. Good for men. Incidentally this effect is not seen in men.

    Of course a downside is you don't get sex with virgins during the courtship phase. Perhaps your cute virgin girlfriend is a virgin because she really dislikes the very concept of sex. And won't like it any better with the sauce of marriage on top. A lot of men do want to try before they buy.

    Which brings up 'what is virginity'. Like a guy could be reasonably happy with hand jobs and blowjobs from his virgin girlfriend. I think it is vaginal virginity that counts. Hand and Oral virginity don't. What is your view?

    In the 50's people married fast to resolve the sex impulse. Teenage marriages were a thing because they were eager to have sex and no oral then. Now marriage is later in life. Another blow to virginity at marriage.

    Interesting I saw some stats that went back to 1900. 80% of men were virgins at marriage but only 40% of women were. Now i have seen some discussions on 'what is virginity' and views expressed by females that giving a hand job is loss of virginity. So maybe the female respondents took a stricter view on what comprised virginity back in the 1900's or maybe most weren't virgins even way back then.

    i would disagree with you very strongly that the amount of sexual partners a girl has had improves her worth in the eyes of men. A lot of guys here will say no.

    Some of us might not dare utter Slut and Whore but we still think it.

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  • Virginity has no value for me. It does for some guys. I'm not turned off by virgins. Everyone was a virgin at some point, so it's perfectly fine. But I never favored virgins over non-virgins one way or the other. Women are women, virgin or not.

    The only thing that turns me off is someone who is saving themselves for marriage. I wouldn't date someone like that because I wouldn't consider marrying someone unless I knew that we were compatible, including sexually.

    I do admire a girl with self-esteem, self-respect, and a health libido who is selective about her partners and doesn't sleep around; who wants an exclusive, infatuated relationship but not hook ups.

    If I liked a girl enough to date her in hope of a relationship and she disclosed that she was a virgin but wanted me to be her first, I'd be flattered. I wouldn't be put off at all.

    The only issue with being a woman's first is, it's kind of a responsibility. It's a special thing for her; a rite of passage. I would want to make it very special and pleasurable.

    I would also be scared of pregnancy because it's doubtful that many virgins are on birth control. And using a condom might or might not make her first experience less pleasurable and give her the wrong impression of how great sex can be. Condoms are bogus.

    Full disclosure: I've been in several relationships in my life and none of the women were virgins when we met. They were also on the pill. So I don't have any personal experience in dating a virgin.

    My wife certainly wasn't a virgin since I was 40 and she was 37 when we met. We had both lived full lives. We've been happily married now for almost 27 years.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't see any issue with anyone who wants to stay a virgin, either by choice or circumstance, so I think it's up to everyone on their own view of how they should view themselves. If it's by choice, than you shouldn't be upset about being a virgin

    • Ok, but if you met a guy and he turned out to be a virgin, would you reject him because of that despite liking him?

    • Of course not

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  • My husband and I both only wanted to be with anoth virgin. And being pressured to lose your virginity doesn't happen in respectable circles.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 24
  • Well for sure you're not a loser.

    As a matter of fact I look at you as a leader for young girls even for young men..

    And I can say you are 100 times stronger of a person than I am 100 better of a person that I am.

    I'm the type of guy that no matter what it is if there's some sort of knowledge I want to experience it.

    I've always said you have to experience something to understand it no matter what it is well that's only good for me though I would not say that to anybody else.

    At 15 and a half 16 I lost my virginity in that moment I was so upset at myself because I had just lost my virginity and the sex sucked.

    Well at least that's what I felt she said no it was good I could tell you the whole story but it'd probably be boring.

    But I also have to say even though I was angry then today this moment I was so blessed because of who I did it with and everything that came from it.

    Like I said I was 15 and a half 16 she was 19 come on spring break from college if it wasn't for her I probably would not know what I know today. But anyway you are not a loser who cares what people say what names they say you are a winner you are a leader and I hope you always understand that.

    It's a beautiful thing the things that you do because you're strong you're independent you know who you are and that's beautiful

  • Anecdotal Nature espouses that those bodily functions you DON'T exercise, your body reallocates its energy and resources elsewhere.
    The FOREMOST evolved physiological baseline function beyond breathing, is being 'viable' to reproduce (even if you don't) to contribute to your specie's perpetuation (aka sex drive / 'desire').

    Homosexuality elevates the provision of the immediate hormonal neurochemical 'pleasure' bonding aspect of the physical sex act while simultaneously circumventing biological conception complications.
    The EMOTIONAL complications like jealousy remain; N'est pas?

  • Not a dealbreaker at all. You are actually very special.

    • Thank you

  • What do I think of virgins? I think they are people that haven't had sex yet. Other than that, I don't think about them much.

  • I would consider a virgin if she's going to be mine forever.

    See, I've taken some virginaties and it's not as fun as just banging a blown out vagina. But if it was like "4 life" situation... I would rather have the virgin than the blown out woman that's probably alpha widowed in a thousand different ways.

  • I'm aware of the assumptions that a virgin after certain age is ugly or asexual but I am traditional when it comes to virginity, for me if a girl is a ho it a turn-off, I prefer a virgin.

    https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Nature_Adores_a_Virgin

    How much of a turnoff or deal breaker is virginity in women for men? Also what do you think of virgin men, women?
    • Thank you

  • They have been patient and selective.

    • I see. But would it be a deal breaker for you?

    • Sexual intimacy should come in good time. If it doesn't, and I don't cum (by some means), I will go.

  • I was a virgin until I was almost 26. I also married a virgin. In fact a virgin was one of my requirements.

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  • Virginity itself isn’t a turn off for me, but I’m going to assume you don’t actually want to have sex, so that would put off you because I don’t like wasting my time

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  • Not at all, for me! I'd love to have a virgin, at least once!

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    • It'd be really cool to go through the learning process of it with her. It's NOT just, "Oh, boy! I'd love to fuck a virgin just to see what it feels like!!" It's more like, helping her to get through it, giving her advice, trying to make it as nice as possible for her, stuff like that. My first girlfriend already had a baby 3 years before we met. My 2nd already had at least 3 guys before we met and my third did, too but had also had a baby years before we met.

  • I don't care about virginity at all.

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  • If the guy is looking for just a hookup then you would probably be bottom of his list..

    But if he is looking for a serious relationship that could end in marriage then I would think you would be pretty high if not the top of a lot of guys list.

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    • @hideous What do you want? To wait for marriage or are you ready to lose it now?

    • Wow. I wasn't expecting these questions but tbh, I think I am ready.

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  • That would not be a deal breaker for me. Everyone is different. It doesn't make a person more or less attractive to me if they are a virgin.

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  • I think bring with a virgin is amazing

    • Thank you for sharing your opinion

  • Complicated topic and i could answer in many details. Overall virginity is a choice and there is value to that choice.

    • Ok. Thank you

    • Would it be a deal breaker for you though?

    • Depends on the situation. But no, if I learned she’s a virgin I would still want to date her.

  • I respect a girl or a guy's decision to wait until it is the right time with the right person in their life.

    • But would virginity be a deal breaker for you?

    • Not at all

  • I've never been with a virgin, but I don't think I would want to.

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  • Its something we can fix in less than a hour so not a deal breaker.

    On the contrary 2/3 of men have fantasised about having sex with a virgin.

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  • 21 year old virgin is like s unicorn. Very rare. Most women aren't virgins. Plenty of men are virgins though. Itll be a deal breaker for most women. But men dont care about a woman being a virgin. It's actually a plus for a lot of men

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  • It's q turn on

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