Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
My girlfriend and I have been together for 5yrs. We life together and we are generally a very happy couple.
However, our sex life was horrible and its only recently that I've realised how horrible it was. There was no passion or intimacy. In my mind it was all about "getting the job done". By that I mean having my orgasm to relieve myself for another day or two. She certainly got very little enjoyment out of it which bothered me for a long while. But i never said anything for a long time. However, one night after a few wines I asked the question " do you enjoy having sex with me" and her reply was not what I wanted to hear. She said "you are actually not very good in bed".
We had a long discussion about it and it basically came down to a few things:
Too much focus on rushing to orgasm, finishing too quickly, losing interest in her after I cum and not enough intimate time like kissing, cuddling, back rubs etc.
We talked about ideas, our desires, what we wanted and considered "good sex" which led us to how do we find the spark and passion that we had 4yrs ago. We wanted to try something that was kinky, fun but that would help our relationship and improve her view on sex.
What we came up with was a chastity device. Its basically a device that locks around the penis and testicles. It can't be removed without a key and it prevents the penis from being touched or stimulated. Now dont get me wrong, i had no intention of wearing it all time. Its only to be worn during intimacy and even then is not going to be used all the time.
Essentially, it takes my penis out of the equation. It doesn't matter how horny i get during intimacy i can't get it off without the key which she puts in a draw. It means that I have to find other ways to express my arousal. Maybe we give eachother a massage, maybe its just lying in bed kissing and fondling. 2 weeks ago I went down on her for the first time in 3years.
It has basically given me the time and focus to learn how to make love to her and how to recieve attention as well as give it. For example, she might give me a full body massage which makes me horny as hell. But instead of trying to cum as soon as im horny I just put my head back, moan a little and enjoy the feeling of her hands on my body.
Its not that we have quit having normal sex, we still do. Its just that we both have to agree to remove the device. So if she's not ready for sex i stay locked up and we continue being intimate in some other way.
Overall this has helped a lot. Its a bit of kinky fun as its got a bit of a bdsm, powerplay feel to it. But beneath all that I've become a better lover and I've now got a girlfriend that actively makes moves for sex instead of just doing it to keep me happy. A
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