How normal is it for a guy in a relationship to watch porn?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years and we have a pretty healthy sex life. We have sex I would say almost everyday, sometimes every other day. During the quarantine, I've noticed he has started watching porn a lot more. Since we are both home all day, we have sex in the morning a lot more. If we dont have sex at night he will for sure watch it (after im asleep) but sometimes we will have sex in the morning and not at night, he'll still feel the need to do it after I'm asleep. It's to the point now where any night we dont have sex, he's watching porn.

Is this normal? Is he bored of me? He says he's happy and that he's satisfied with our sex life. I wear costumes, we have toys, we even watch porn together sometimes even.

I think it's just the fact that he is so eager to get off on his own so often that is making me unsure...

[Anonymous]

First-there is nothing Normal about lockdown-you guys are together a LOT more now, even if you were living together. Now:: Relationships, Sexual interest and Porn 101: You are 3 years into a relationship and I assume both faithful during. That means it is 3 years since he has had any variety. Now, he is still sexually interested in you as evidenced by the fact you have sex daily, sometimes multiple times. A bored penis won't stand up. You say you dress up, etc to keep it fun /interesting/new which is good. But... in a long term relationship sexual interest will wax and wane inevitably with time. I was married 27 years. We went through periods where we couldn't stop having sex , periods where one was usually interested and one bored and periods where neither were interested. Another thing is that porn is a safety valve for fidelity. My sex drive was usually greater than the wife's and it sounds like your boyfriend has a big sex drive also. Porn is not being unfaithful any more than fantasy is-you dress up so he can pretend he is screwing someone other than you. Is porn that different? I'll go farther and say that porn keeps a lot of men from becoming unfaithful. A safety valve.

[cunnilinguist]

This was fun, like I was reading about myself a while ago. Exact same situation.

I would say he is satisfied, but he could do with "more satisfied". Based on what I feel between the lines you wrote, he probably wants it twice every day, and he wants you to start doing a few things that you're not doing currently. You would be amazed to learn how much you have never heard of that some people would consider sex.

My suggestion is simple: start watching porn with him. See what he likes to watch. Find out about his fantasies. Ask him to show you his favorites. Ask him if he wants to try new things. I know you will have your limits and probably won't agree to, say, jump into an orgy tomorrow. But maybe he just wants to fist-fuck you or something simple like that. It could be anything. Talk to him.

[VikkiBrook]

:::ovr here DYING::: "But maybe he just wants to fist–fuck you or something *SIMPLE* like that" !!! Lolol Funny dude =) btw: jk ! no harm intended

[cunnilinguist]

@VikkiBrook Well I started typing the other possibilities but then thought I'd spare you and the audience. But fist-fucking would easily be something you should more likely agree to being a part of than, say, him wanting to do a threesome or an orgy, or some tourture scene re-enactment, or trying it with a horse or something gross like coprophagia, not to mention necrophilia. There really is a ton of weird stuff people are into, you never know who has what fetish. You might want to invest some time and effort into getting to know him a bit better. I was talking from that perspective about a fist-fuck or a fhroat-fuck being "simple".

[VikkiBrook]

2 each their own! Hey- whtvr gets 1 off.

[Lauren-green]

Hun it's very normal, don't stress about it. I've been with my partner for 3, nearly 4, years now and I still watch porn on the often. I'm not at all bored with our sex life, but I guess I'm naturally quite horny and if I feel like it, I might just rub one out instead? I would only be concerned if he was watching porn ALL the time. I did also read some stats that porn use had increased a lot since isolation/lockdown started so he may calm down a bit by the end of it. I think with being off work we have more energy and a lot of it's getting channeled into sexual energy

[ChronicThinker]

It's normal. I think women put their own personal insecurities into it rather than considering we, as humans, love variety and like to fantasize. It doesn't mean you don't love your partner or find them attractive; it's just a visual to jerk off to. You'd have an issue if he was ignoring your sex life completely in place of porn.

[MrOracle]

[btbc92]

There is nothing normal about your sex life or what he is doing. He's just caring about sex and he don't care what he has to get it from. He can't get it from you so he's using pornography. He sex-addicted. Those toys, customs, pornography it's unhealthy. Premarital sex and all that stuff that you're doing is not cold a send for no reason. He's addicted and that is not normal.

[iimJay]

Quarantine has messed with everybody's habits a little. I would watch it a couple times a week in a relationship. Some weeks it would be every day even if we had sex every day. Other times I'd go a month without watching any at all.

I'd say it's completely normal for a time. If it went on every night for months I would have a conversation about it.

[katiesmuff]

It's likely a combination of both choices. As long as he is servicing you as well it's probably going to be just fine.

[AllieOops]

I'm thinking porn may be the problem, not the cure. A guy will want his girlfriend to be like the women in porn but most of them are faking kit and it is just a job to them. Most probably don't do that stuff in real life any more than a doctor does his own doctoring. So if you are not like the fake women on porn he may get tired of you and watch porn more. When he does have sex with you it is not you he sees in his mind it is one of the porn queens. Frankly, I wouldn't be with any man who watched porn. If I was not good enough to satisfy him then he can hit the road and go find his porn queen.

[lightbulb27]

probably more a way to keep the high going and fill time. I don't think it is good, whether it is normal is another matter relative to society.

I think to deal with emotions we often avoid doing so... and drown them with drugs.

[ArrowheadSW]

My guess is that he is using porn as a distraction from the stress of all the news of the virus and social distancing, etc. It might not have that much to do with sex.

[spartan55]

He bangs you daily and you think he is bored with you? You girls have such fragile self esteem it's mind boggling.

[SpeedVoid]

My advice is not to only worry unless he stops showing his interest in other ways. If he still puts effort into building a life with you, he's not tihnking about getting out.

It's normal.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

He's definitely a little bored but I think most guys would get like that after being crammed up with the same person for so long. I wouldn't get too worried. Maybe see if he'd be into masturbateing together. Sometimes it's really nice to just get to jerk off alone and I could see that becoming a greater desire in a position like that

[KassyIsSassy]

It may be normal to some guys, but I think it is unfair of him to you to do so. You should talk to him about it, because talking is always the best way to resolve an issue in a relationship.

[ecfresh]

Why would he be bored of you? He’s having sex daily with you, that’s not a pattern of boredom.

[SjE78]

pretty normal tbh, same with the women i've known over the years...

[Stonernights]

Right, I probably watch more porn than any dude I've known. No big deal

[SjE78]

@Stonernights tbh i like the sound of that and same here i've seen more than all my friends and pass gf's over the years have ever imagined lol and here's me thinking i was just the only one lol :D

[Hermes-Paris]

Well he could be watching CNN or Fox news.

[PeterAyre]

After you are asleep. That seems perhaps secretive, why? Can he not sleep until he has gotten off? Is he stressed, anxious or worried? Is this becoming a problem for him? There are questions to be asked, but If he has told you he is happy and satisfied with your sex life, then you should trust that or ask for reassurance if you need it. You have a wonderful sex drive and seem perhaps adventurous. I don't think there is anything to be insecure about.

[Miristheiss]

If he is big into porn before you meet he will stay into porn and lusting after other women... if he isn't into porn when you meet him he will continue wanting only you and not pictures and videos.

[Dargil]

AV is the equivalent for your libido to working out in a gym for fitness. Don't let it be a problem.

[emmily2396]

I guess so. I don't have a boyfriend, but I imagine not everyone has the same libido. If his is a lot higher than mine (which happens to most guys due to higher testosterone) I would rather have him watch porn than cheat or break up.

[littlelady050]

Maybe something specific gets him off that arouses him. And he’s too timid to tell you. Like a fetish or something he might think is weird or dark. He might think you’ll think differently of him. So he satisfies that part of him through porn ask him

[broken_heart_at_48]

It's completely normal and you should have sex in the morning and at night if you're worried about and if he still keeps watching it then morning noon and night and even start watching it with him while having sex.

[NewZion]

Depends on how hot the girl and sex is.