How often have you spent your first night with a romantic partner and not had sex?

How often have you spent your first night with a romantic partner and not had sex?
I was dating a lady for about six weeks and we were going to do a day trip that required us to leave town early the next morning, so I suggested that she spend the night at my apartment. She agreed but cautioned me that this did not mean that she was agreeing to have sex with me. She came over, took a shower, and got in bed wearing just her panties and a t-shirt. I got in bed wearing just my boxers, spooned with her, and went to sleep. No sex! Only time that has ever happened with me. Why torment myself with having a partner so close, so tempting. . . the best way to deal with temptation is to avoid it.

What's your experience with first nights together? Does it always mean sex? Almost always?
I've never spent the night with a partner.
Vote A
I've spent the night with a partner but never had sex with them.
Vote B
I've spend a night with at least a few different partners, and more often than not, did not have sex the first night
Vote C
I've spend a night with at least a few different partners, and had sex the first night with about half of them
Vote D
I've spend a night with at least a few different partners, and had sex the first night with most but not all of them
Vote E
I've spend a night with at least a few different partners, and had sex the first night with all of them
Vote F
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I prefer spending nights together without sex. I wouldn’t be ready to have sex if I didn’t have that initial time with thrm just being close and not worrying about rushing. It helps build trust and it’s very intimate. You’re not charged up on sex hotlines you are just in the moment appreciating each other. Probably he jerked off in the shower first 🤷‍♀️😊

    I know it’s not for everyone snd I wouldn’t want a guy doing it if it was uncomfortable fit him but I absolutely love that initial pre sex Intimacy time together and some guys love it too as long as they know what to not expect.

    I really can’t imagine going from hanging out to sex. Things feel casual until we have that time together next to each other. But I’m very highly tactile / physical in How I process experiences. Way more physical then sexual. So I may be an outlier.

  • Just one person I remember doing that, or guess you could say "not doing" lol, with

    • Well we know at your age you aren't a virgin so it is expected to have had sex.

    • @Daniela1982 what the hell does that have to do with this question? This was about if you've spent the first night with a partner without having sex with that partner... Not about virginity... So really don't know what my age had to do with it or why your comment was even necessary as don't even apply here... 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ But hey, you wanna insult more? Imma be 48 tomorrow, no shame in my age hon 🙂🙂

    • Omg, you take things wayyyy too seriously in here. You need to chill out some. You aren't that old yet to lose it entirely.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 12
  • My 2nd ex and i went 4 days of me teasing him naked... we wanted to do it but we also wanted to wait til marriage. It was hard but we managed... not to have penetrative sex... messed up and tried oral for the first time

  • I've spent the night with a few partners that I didn't have sex with that night and some of them we waited for a few months. Others we had sex right away. So I guess it depends on the man, emotions and how much he turns me on!

  • The only one that wanted to have sex with me was a flasher.

    How often have you spent your first night with a romantic partner and not had sex?
    • Shirley, you jest!

    • And don't call me Shirley, Leslie.

    • Ok! 😃😃😃

    • Show All
  • Only once. It was with my future wife at her place. We hadn't been dating long.

  • I only had one romantic partner...

    And we spent a few nights without any sexual interaction

  • In my early 20s, college years. I slept in same bed with guy friends. No sex or sexual
    stuff. Didn’t understand much.
    eventually I learned it’s not the right thing to lead guys on, so I stopped.

    • So now you are older and wiser!

    • 😀😀😀

  • SOOOO many different stories, and sooooo many different ways, and I just seem to "CRASH" into ones that we share some really great time, together, and then realize we want different things. . .

  • It's been about 50/50 in my illustrious career.

  • A few.

    Cuddling and sex are about equal to me. I know that sounds strange to many, but it's how I feel. When I love a woman, I love to cuddle her.

  • If I spend the night, we're having sex.

  • Yeah I have only had 2 girlfriends till now and I have spent at least 2-3 nights with them without having sex. Like we just cuddled and kissed etc but sex is too much on the first few nights together

    • It may be too much for you but I think it is the norm for most people.

    • yeah you are right.

    • That's okay. Do what feels right for you and your partner.

  • I think twice

  • The sexless nights happen only after a man has been stupid enough to marry the female.

  • I've never had the (platonic?) pleasure.

  • It has happened at least a few times.

  • Yeah done all the above, I have self control.

  • It’s only happened like once or twice but not by my choice but I think as a joke one time I would love to just say that to the woman instead and see or hear her reaction if I told her that since no guy would ever say that to a woman

    • You’d be surprised.. some guys dig it 😊

    • @VIVANT I would be very surprised so unless I’m passed out tired it would be kind of torture for me

  • Couple

  • Once or twice when I was still a virgin.

    • And how long did that last?

    • @Daniela1982 Not that long cause I wanted to lose it so bad, lol

  • With only one partner we were already sexual before she ever spent the night so when she did spend the night we got sexual

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