How on earth can a guy tolerate to see his wife being done by another man?

Recently my wife and I decided to do a swap/swing with another couple. At first we were rather unsure what to do, then the suggestion was for me to do his wife while the other 2 watch, I did it and it felt weird as fuck. The whole time he was really aroused to view it. Then he went on with mine and instead of fucking they started cuddling and oral... claimed he was tired. Then the second time, he finally did mine and I could barely watch it and after it was over I did my wife really hard and rough to remind her who her husband is. I told them I don't want to view anymore as it was too difficult on me, now his wife did ask me to do her and she said it was fine if I didn't want to watch, however he said he would still watch, now it has happened quite a few times, some are fairly rough ones and some I do ask her to tell whose penis is bigger and whose she prefers. The whole time he is very erect while watching and sometimes he would beckon me to be rougher or to hurt her more. What I don't get from it is... what the heck is he getting from it all?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I believe you should be asking yourself why you’re doing this in the first place, since clearly, you don’t like it. If you’re asking yourself what he gets from this and why he can stay erect, then you’re obviously not enjoying the situation, so why don’t you stop and be done with it and stop doing the wife/swap, swingers, scene, and tell your wife you would prefer not to do this ever again. I mean, if you’re not enjoying it, then stop. It’s really that simple in my view.

    It could be said you have very low self-confidence in yourself and in the bond you share with your wife, because you’re needing reassurance of your own manhood. That’s why you’re asking who has the bigger penis and who do you prefer…et cetera. This should not be needed if you had more self-confidence in your abilities to satisfy your wife sexually or your self-esteem was higher that sharing your wife would not bother you, because you’d be secure in your relationship with her, which I’m getting the impression by your posting you’re not.

    You really should re-consider what you’re doing and why you’re doing it; then talk to your wife and let her know how you’re feeling. Judge her reaction and hopefully she’ll understand how you’re feeling and then you can stop swinging and find some other activity to spice up your sex life.

    • I did tell her that it isn't something I'm enjoying but she said she enjoys it a lot and it is at a totally different level. She told me to try to enjoy it more when doing it with that other guy's wife as she clearly is enjoying it too.

    • That’s interesting she’d give that type of response after you’ve already indicated you don’t enjoy this activity. Clearly at this point she doesn’t care about your feelings or what your opinion is when it comes to swinging, because she’s enjoying being mounted by someone else, besides you. That’s not appropriate or a good relationship building mindset. You are going to have a harsh realty to face if she doesn’t change her mind or her way to preserve her family, and you’re going to do to decide whether or not you can deal with this as is and go along with the activities of this couple and your wife, or this may be grounds for breaking up the relationship completely.

  • Sounds like a bad nightmare, guy seems like a huge creep to me.

    • Yes he is indeed creepy, creeps the heck out of me that such an individual is actually a teacher at a public high school.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Why on earth would you agree to something so insane? You have opened a door that you can't close now.

    • She got talked into it by her friend (the wife of that other guy), more of a dare type situation and I sort of knew it would be pointless to even bother trying to talk her out of it at that time.

    • Well like a said... you opened a door. Now you have to live with that.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • the same reason you decided to do it.. lol

    • It wasn't really something I wanted to get into however I did get curious what it'd be like with another woman but her doing it with someone else certainly wasn't something I wanted to view.

  • I don't know as I would probably get too jealous and it would never happen.

    • Indeed there is a certain element of jealousy to it that is making me a bit irrational to the whole thing.

  • I thought the same way till it happened with my wife and we both got sooper turned on and we all enjoyed it I never thought watching another man fuck and cum in my wife would turn me on but it did I have never cummed so hard before but when it was my turn in her oh man was I horny I filled her up good thinking about it then we both finished on her tits again at the same time it was best sex ever and she ha multiple orgasms

  • Then don't do it! Simple or just keep having FFM and don't involve any guy in the future

    • She isn't into any FF type situations.

    • That's sad then close your open relationship... It's not for everybody

  • Real question, is why didn't You do his wife? Well do You find looking at porn weird? If yes, I'm not sure what You are doing. Many of us only dream to experience such things. Some people love to watch their woman in action. Like watching a porno, except she's your star.

  • I do not understand this either

  • everyone has different sexual preferences , clearly this guy was looking for something more out there and rough. not all swingers are like this , not all would want to watch there partner have sex with someone else , sometimes each would go to separate rooms and have sex and never see each other doing it , that would sound more normal behaviour

    • Yes we now doing separate rooms but he still insists on watching.