How should I feel about him hating period sex?

Hey guys! It’s been awhile since I’ve been on here, but I could really use some advice. So I’m engaged to a wonderful man. We have a very healthy relationship and love each other very much, but we’ve had some issues arise within our sex life.

He doesn’t like period sex. He actively avoids it because he finds it gross. I on the other hand have especially high needs during this time of the month. It’s when my sex drive is strongest.

I don’t want to ask him to do anything he doesn’t want to do, but I also feel kind of hurt. My period is a part of me and something I can’t control, and he thinks it’s gross. And I’m not asking him to eat me out or anything. I’d be fine with just fingering or him using a condom so he wouldn’t get that bloody.

Also, he has not shamed me about my period or been nasty to me. But he has expressed that he finds it gross to touch. Anyways, I want to hear y’all’s advice. Is there anything we can do to compromise or work through this somehow?

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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion
  • If he's anything like me, the issue is not about "you", or him not wanting you. If he's anything like me, it's deeper than that. I have always had an aversion to blood. I've had period sex on several occasions and it was disturbing to me. It's not that it's "gross", or that I freak out or anything, I just can't get past it enough to enjoy it. It has nothing to do with my wife's sexuality or the beauty of her amazing reproductive capabilities. It's just a psychological thing for me.

    It was a mild point of contention for us for a while before got married. She felt a little hurt, probably in the same way you do. But after I explained why I don't like it, she came to terms with it and was ok with it.

    We did find some common ground with anal sex. It's something we discovered we both enjoy and it's what we always do now during that time of her cycle. Not saying it's necessarily the solution for you because not everyone enjoys it, but it has been a great solution for us. We enjoy it enough now that we sometimes do it at other times when we're in the mood.

    Anyway, those are just my thoughts. I hope you will talk with him about why he doesn't like it, and not take it personally. I know that's easier said than done.

    • I didn't even think about ansl, probably because my girlfriend and I have it just as often as vaginal.

    • @Twalli That's cool. We don't have it that often, but probably 4 or 5 times a month. We've been doing it more lately though.

    • It's good that she likes it. A lot of girls sem to have an aversion to it on principle.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is gross, that's the short and honest answer.

    I have a body who brings up "earning his redwings" all the time, I see anyguy who is into period play as a fetish guy no different from foot fetish/pee fetish people.

    It's gross for a couple reasons
    1 it dosent feel right, it's not the same as being wet.
    2 it stinks, I don't care if you can tolerate it or if you are noseblind to it, I can't and I'm not.
    3 it's messy, I'm not ruining sheets and my bed to have sex, possible nighttime leaks are bad enough.

    And let me just ask you for real, be honest, if itnisnt gross to you would you be okay sucking a bloody period dick or with me whiping my fingers off on your titties? Cause if you wouldn't like either of those it prooves my point, if you're cool with that we'll then I geuss we just different.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'm not a fan of the mess that comes with period sex so I don't judge guys who are the same. We usually do something like mutual masturbation, or I'll give him a bj and he'll return the favor by kissing me all over or touching my erogenous zones or fingering my ass while I masturbate. We also do anal sometimes.

  • I’m not into period sex personally. Too messy plus I’m usually cramping bad anyways and the last thing I want to do is have sex. I feel like it’s personal preference, regardless of gender.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • So honestly it really depends on what type of period you have. I mean with my ex-wife she was a bleeder, and it was gross, and it would come out in clotty chunks. Then I have been with women where it was just regular period sex.

    So, it all depends on the flow you are having... I mean it is not preferred by me personally I do not really like it... but some sex is better than no sex. You just got to be prepared for the mess, maybe offer him anal or something.

    • I’m late but I just saw this. It’s been a couple weeks lol. I’m on birth control, and it makes my periods very light. It’s enough that you would notice it during sex but it wouldn’t get on the sheets and there are no clots.

  • Period sex is NASTY !! It's like fishing in Blood Lake...

  • Awh that is sad he finds is gross. Any man that doesn't like period sex needs to grow the fuck up and realize that it's not a big deal. I would have to bring it up since that bother me way to much to have to avoid sex a week out of every month. Id say if it bothers you to then bring it up to him

  • Well, there's a lot of things that are a part of us that we cannot control that are disgusting in general and especially, in my opinion, when it relates to sex.

    Anything poop-related for example.

    Part of us, natural, can't control, and yet gross to the majority in general

    Nearly gross to all for sex specifically.

    Just be more understanding and don't take it personally.

  • Period sex isn't for everyone. If that's all that's wrong with him, it shouldn't be too bad.

    As a compromise, maybe ask him if he can satisfy you with his hands. Those are easy to wash off and he doesn't have to go inside, just keep it with the clitoris and your other pleasure spots.

    Hell you could do anal while you finger yourself.

    • I’ve asked him to finger me instead, and he still thought it was gross and didn’t want to do it, but he may be down for anal. Thanks for the suggestion.

    • I hope for you he's good with that, as long as you're into anal. I can see not wanting to put your dick in the blood. I've only done it a handful of times. Don't understand what he has against fingering you though.

    • I don’t either. That’s honestly where some of the hurt comes from, because I feel it’s a reasonable request. I also bleed very little on my period. Light enough that I can only use light tampons without it hurting. So that’s part of why I don’t understand. But I like anal and so does he do it might be a solution.

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  • It's unlikely you'll change his opinion about period sex. It's only a few days out if the month, and you have him the rest if the time. To satisfy your especially high needs, maybe you can make out and then masturbate with him playing with your breasts.

  • My girlfriend doesn't want to be touched during hers. She cramps so bad. I had to take her to ER one time. They had to inject muscle relaxer directly to her uterus. Your lucky you don't have cramps.

    I don't like it either. Its just gross. I'm sorry but I'm with your boyfriend. Plus it doesn't seem natural.

  • I'm good with it, condom or no condom. Possible murder scene can be contained by just having towel nearby for the bed, I usually have the black towels for this, that way it doesn't feel too visible or distracting. It's really just dissecting what is the real issue, the sight of any blood or what.

  • More than likely you 2 will have to discuss this. , only compermise I can think of is using a dildo during your period

    • And I’d be ok with that. I just a matter of getting him to do something. I understand he doesn’t want to get his dick bloody but I want him to be willing to think outside the box.

    • Tell him that

  • Being experienced in period sex with one of my wives, she was definitely a higher need during her period. She actually got insatiably horny and we would have sex. It's also known to help a woman with her menstrual pain. Some dudes don't understand.

  • not satisfied with giving him head?

    • Not really. Don’t get me wrong, I love to give head, but for a long time he took advantage of it and never returned, even when I was not on my period. I started to feel like it was really unequal and started to enjoy it a lot less.

    • is that bad?

    • Yes. Relationships should be give and take. Especially since he doesn’t do the dom/sub thing. He was just forgetting about me.

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  • Maybe explain why you want sex on your period. There are things you have to do to make sure it's not messy. Also you could tell him that the more often he makes you orgasm during your period, the shorter it is (actually true, although the flow is heavier).

  • I mean, he has to put his pee-pee in your blood, you can understand he's not thrilled about it.

    • I mean, yeah, I respect that he doesn’t like it. I just wish he would try to offer something else or find a solution instead of making me feel unwanted.

    • Why don't you propose something else?

    • I have. I asked about fingering and he didn’t want to do that either. I’m going to ask for anal sex and see if he’ll agree. We both like it.

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  • offer him anal

  • You can’t make someone like something. A lot of woman hate their periods and fear blood but they don’t get an off switch. You have to have some maturity.