How should I see the future from here?

My boyfriend has lots of strange sexual fantasies such as rape, nun vs priest or with prostitutes. He plays these fantasies in his mind a lot but 3 years on whenever he has sex with me, it is the fantasies he plays in his mind; he does not seem to understand intimacy. Sex with me is not personal, it is more of a fantasy entertainment. I have tried to talk to him about it but he clearly has never understood sex in relationships. He thinks respecting me can be done outside sex; but during sex he's comfortable with gangrape images of Cinderella. Other aspects of our relationship are pretty good but this one just seemed to make me think seriously about our future and if there really ever will be some commitment?
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Superb Opinion

  • it's good and bad at the same time
    good because you can be sure your relationship with him never gets old and he always surprises you with something new
    and bad because sometimes you just need romantic sex and not more than that but it feels boring for him

    I suggest talking to him about it, set some nights for playing his fantasies and the other nights for regular romantic sex, after a while, he will understand you better

    • I've tried and I'm finding that after 3years, he is still in the same place. When I try talk to him he says that's how his mind is.

    • Well that's not a good sign I have two more suggestion but I feel like breaking up with him is an easier way for solving the problem but I will write them anyway maybe it helped you 1-do something 10 times more worst than what he's doing I say buy some BDSM toys and make him wear that cloth and take that whip and hit him so hard so he regrets his own fantasies buy the biggest strap on dildo in the market and put it way up his butt and in general make him regret it 2-take him to a therapist or Hypnosis therapy, I heard many people were happy from the result

Most Helpful Guy

  • If you love him and he respects you and cares about you outside of sex I don't see a huge problem. He isn't hurting you during sex, is he? I sometimes fantasize about something else during sex with my girlfriend

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If he can't have sex with you in a way that helps you feel intimacy with him, then I do not believe he is the right guy for you.

  • nun? 😂

    • I think it is very creative lol.

    • I don't know about all that

    • Well think about it nun vs priest is a porn I have never seen before lol

  • Dump his ass and get someone who respects you.

  • I would be worried too, time to move on...

  • Tell him to use his creativity to make horror movies I think they would make for some scary ones.

  • Get out of the relationship now before you really get hurt I'd my sdvise

    • Thanks for your advice. What do you thinning is going on?

    • Perhaps he's stopped loving you for who you are

  • Better you find some other guy
    He's little freaked in sexual fantasy

  • my guess is, you and him met while in your 20s, and i assume he had to talk to you first