How soon can a guy ask a girl if she's a virgin?

[Anonymous]

If a guy might be interested in a relationship with a girl, how soon can he ask a girl if she's a virgin?

[pokidoki]

I feel like if that's important to you, then you should ideally ask quickly so you don't waste your time if she ends up being a girl with a lot of bodies.

I think it ultimately depends on the way it's said/asked. Like if you just spring it on her, like "Hey, are you a virgin?" it'll be awkward most definitely. I think if maybe you try to ease it in a conversation you're having with her, it could help make it seem more natural than just out of nowhere.

But some girls either way might take offense to the question being asked. If so, then maybe she isn't really the one for you since she doesn't value it like you do.

[balyai]

I agree 👍

[Asker]

What's a good way to ease it into a conversation?

[pokidoki]

See that's a difficult one to ask. I saw another response here that I thought was pretty good, he said ask her if she's done "XYZ" in the bedroom before, and if she replies that she hasn't at all and that you'd be her first, then bam. You got your answer. If she responds that she has done things in bedrooms before, then she's not a virgin.

[DubiousIntentions]

That is usually impolite to ask. Maybe the first question you ask should be if it is a must-be for you. That way you don't waste time for either of you. I'm also thinking that this also means you wouldn't be looking for sex because you would want her to stay a virgin for the next guy after she kicks you to the curb.

[Asker]

So you think that guys should accept slutty girls because of feminism? Some guys want a girl that's a virgin or really inexperienced.

[NotInterestedSorry]

That's fine a guy wants a virgin but maybe that girl who is a virgin also wants a guy who is a virgin so if you aren't a virgin don't go lying to them and wasting their time because it makes you a pos if you do

[DubiousIntentions]

@NotInterestedSorry Amen to that!

[Cheyannea]

If you’re not a male virgin but you value virginity in women…. stay the fuck away from them lol. Men who target inexperienced women without any intention of committing are insufferable.

[EricSummer]

This is not a good question, and especially not with the outdated word "virgin".

I think it's best to casually talk about your dating history and hers or what you like. Most women and girls like talking about themselves and reveal a lot unasked.

You can talk about these things early in dating, though rather not the first date.

If she is uncomfortable talking about sex do not pressure her. However, before the first sex it is good to know if either of you is a complete beginner.

[DubiousIntentions]

@ericsummer OK, I'm fuzzy on this. Why would it matter if she was an inexperienced beginner, unless you are looking for a freak in the sheets? Just remember, we were all a beginner at one point in our life. But if you have a high body count, please stay away from virgins.

[EricSummer]

I was thinking back to when my first girlfriend and I first had sex. I think at the time it was good to know that this was new for both of us. Anyway, when you have been dating for a while and you are close it will usually have come up anyway. The Asker is young, so I viewed this from my past perspective, not my present. I realize we are all beginners at some point, but especially a relaxed attitude about this would mean that you say it. Once I went horseriding with a girlfriend and I let her know that I had never been on a horse before. This was definitely good to know as they put me on a super calm horse that enjoyed walking just behind hers.

[dynamicyandere]

That’s a really weird question to ask.


Just ask her what she’s into in the bedroom and what has she tried and what does she like.


Then you can ask if she’s has tried XYZ.


If she says she’s never done XYZ or that you would be her first, then boom. There’s your answer.


Asking directly about her virginity is kinda creepy, and a bit invasive. So don’t. Just learn about her and piece things together.

[dynamicyandere]

In terms of timing, you can ask when you’re both comfortable talking about sex, sexual history, and kinks. If it’s too soon for that, then it’s too soon. But yeah, it’s way better to ask, “Have you tried ______ before?” Instead of asking, “Are you a virgin?”

[caring__1]

Unless it's important both you and her be virgins on your wedding night, it's never appropriate to ask this question. If it is, make a statement rather than ask a question. Base your decision on whether you are morally compatible by observing her behavioral patterns... not whether a small piece of skin has been torn or not.

[strawberrybaby3]

I saw you say in the comments that a girl who respects a guy will be a virgin when entering a serious relationship with him. So I hope you’re also going into this relationship a virgin too? If not, mind your business and get over yourself.

[ushagomez]

It seems important to you, so ask her now, as soon as possible, so that she can decide if she wants to continue a relationship with you.

[Anemone978]

I usually just flat out ask people have you had sex before.. they usually are honest lol

[Apple1996]

You don't ever ask a woman this

[inhua]

depends on how much time he has and is willing to spend

asking directly might not yield the answers you want

[Mamaliv]

Never

[Asker]

Are you saying that guys should accept a girl even if she's slutty and they don't want a slutty girl?

[BarryLiverstone]

Could you define what a slutty girl is? Because I didn’t think that someone with sexual experience is a slut

[Mamaliv]

There is a difference between a girl that isn’t a virgin vs a “slutty” girl!

[Asker]

I guess a very simple definition is a slutty girl is any that's done hookups, one night stands, open relationships, and sex with more than 3+ male partners

[BarryLiverstone]

So a body count of more than 3? By that definition I am a slut.

[Mamaliv]

Which is why it should never be up for discussion! I couldn’t tell you my body count, because I haven’t kept track, but does anyone care as to why I’ve put myself into those situations? Nah y’all are to quick to assume, does that make me any less of a good person? Nope, I like sex so I’ve given it up easy to men who probably didn’t deserve me. Do I regret it, nope! Can I be loyal to the man I want to spend my life with? Yes! And I know I am capable of pleasing him.

[Asker]

@BarryLiverstone You're not a girl. While it's currently a fad to consider genders equal regarding the effects of sex, guys are called studs and girls are called sluts. Girls almost never care about how experienced a guy is and most prefer a guy be experienced because it proves that other girls want him and desire him. Any girl can easily get guys to pound her unless the guys don't want a slut or of they have standards for a girlfriend or only want a real relationship.

[BarryLiverstone]

But like mama said why should the past dictate the future?

[BloodCursedDeviant]

It’s called having preferences. Everyone has them and it’s perfectly okay. in my opinion it’s fine to ask.

[thatshydork]

If it were me and some guy asked me that, I would be weirded out. Less so if he was a friend, but still weirded out

[ProbablyClueless]

Is it a dealbreaker to you if she isn't a virgin? Because if it's not a dealbreaker; don't ask the question. If it's not a dealbreaker, it's better for you to figure out her experience level through the way she talks and conducts herself.

I once dated a lady who had dated 4 men throughout her life and her longest lasting relationship was 5 years. That woman, although experienced, is/was absolutely clueless about how to interact with and generally deal with men.

[BarryLiverstone]

There would have to be a legit reason to ask the question. Timing in every relationship is different. But I’d say once you have earned enough trust then the topic of sexual past is appropriate.


Personally when dating someone I have learned it’s best to avoid topics like that the first few dates so at least a month

[Asker]

How many dates do you usually have in a month? What if the first few dates is only 2 weeks?

[BarryLiverstone]

This is why I mentioned that timing is unique to every new potential relationship. I’d like to average one date a week but sometimes it’s 2 or 3 depending on our free time Hbu?

[BarryLiverstone]

If it took 2 weeks to have 2 dates I don’t feel like that’s been enough time to earn her trust and show my actions match my words

[BarryLiverstone]

by the way I’ve been to church and lots of young and attractive people go to church

[Asker]

What state or country do you see a lot of young and attractive people at church? Any specific denomination?

[BarryLiverstone]

I’ve grown up in Florida. Mostly Christian churches. I’ve been a member of a Presbyterian church but been to others and have friends in other denominations

[BarryLiverstone]

I’ve even been on the beach and saw a church group meeting on the sand

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Once you both feel comfortable with each other then you can ask her.

[RebeccaSJ]

He didn't have to ask.

[OddBeMe]

Is that important to you?

[JennieF]

He knew I wasn't.

[Guido]

Never. If she wants to tell you, she will.

[Anonymous]

You have some respect and don't ask at all.

[Asker]

No, virginity is important for some people and it's a prerequisite for some serious relationships. A girl that respects a guy will be a virgin for him.

[Sasha0426]

@Anonymous Then do you want the guy to find out the hard way when he sees blood coming out of your vagina?

[inhua]

respect is not given. it's earned

[Anonymous]

That’s a good question.


Hmm…so I’m thinking…hypothetically, if a guy were to ask that question on the first date…I would feel a bit weirded out. I don’t know, that’s just how I’m feeling about it.

[Asker]

Why would you feel weirded out? After how many dates? Do most people kiss after a first date?

[Opinion Owner]

I feel like men who want virgin women should go to the right places (like church) to find them. Or try to find people who are very religious…. That’s the best way. Instead of having to ask/guess, go to the right person in the first place.

[Sasha0426]

@Opinion Owner I’m not religious and I’m a virgin.

[Asker]

Very religious people are often prudish or have sexual hangups. And I don't believe in organized monotheistic Abrahamic religions because I think they're more negative despite people saying they're good. Most ordinary religious people aren't any different than anyone else. Also, young people and beautiful people don't care about church.

[Opinion Owner]

Of course, I never said that non-religious people cannot be virgins. 😂 However, it’s definitely less common to see when compared to seriously religious people who dedicate their lives and bodies to the teachings of the Lord. I am talking about seriously religious people…not a girl who comes from a Christian family but goes to the club every weekend and gets dicked down the whole night