How to avoid catching feelings for your "no strings attached" partner

How to avoid catching feelings for your
Some of us are reluctant to enter into this type of relationship; for the simple fact that feelings might be caught for that person (whether it's on your end or theirs).

There has to be a way to avoid this right?

I mean...that is the whole point of trying to establish this relationship in the first place.

Tips on how to make that happen:

1. Make sure you and this person have had no prior relationship with eachother (If this is an ex or someone that wants a committed relationship) then this will be a disaster in the making.
Start fresh with someone new!

This person should be seeking the same type of relationship you are.

Be clear of your needs and discuss the boundaries.

Make sure the both of you have a full understanding of each other before you proceed.

2. Avoid every aspect that a emotional relationship would have:
Do not call/text to engage in rapport (The more you learn about someone the more natural it is to eventually develop feelings for that person).
Only call your no strings attached partner for sex (they should be doing the same as well because feelings can happen on their part too).

3. Do not ask to hang out. (In doing so, remember you are beginning to learn about the non-sexual part of them.)

How to avoid catching feelings for your "no strings attached" partner
Stick to your guns!

4. Do not end the sex sessions laying in eachothers arms, cuddling up. (This is what people in relationships do, not the no strings attached relationship). Eventually those long cuddles could turn into lengthy conversations and that is what you are trying to avoid.

5. Do not spend the night with this person. (Leave almost immediately after the sex). Let this person know you had a great time and you can’t wait to see them again.

6. Do not add this person on any social media sites. (This is someone you want to see only in the flesh and that is all).
The only types of conversations the both of you should have is about sex (nothing else).

If the both of you are clear about your intentions from the beginning and the emotional part of the relationship is non-existent then it is almost impossible.

You will most likely fall in love with the sex and nothing else.

How to avoid catching feelings for your "no strings attached" partner

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Friends with Benefits. Fuck Buddies. No Strings Attached. Call it what you want to, chances are it is going to end up much more complicated that the simple cut-and-dry set up that any of those names imply.

    Can it ever really just be that simple? Is there any such thing as a true No Strings Attached sexual relationship with a girl or is it just an urban legend? Something often heard about, fantasized of, and yet ever-elusive. The answer to this is yes and no.

    Find the Right Girl

    Some girls are simply not wired to function in this type of relationship. Some girls are in denial about this and find out when it is too late that they can’t handle it or want more. That is bad news for a guy who really is looking for just sex. You end up looking like a dick for just wanting her for sex even though that it was she said she wanted as well. It’s a lose/lose situation on that one, guys.

    So how do you know if you have picked the right girl for an NSA situation? You don’t. But there are some simple rules of engagement that you two can sort out ahead of actually entering into a sexual relationship that can help you decipher her intentions and the probability of you looking like a dick later down the road.

    Rules of Engagement

    Entering into a NSA situation haphazardly can result in a messy and disastrous combination of hurt feelings, abrupt cessation of sex, or worse yet, a one-sided desire for a relationship. There has to be an agreed upon set of rules that both you and she are comfortable with and committed to prior to you ever hitting the sheets. This may seem like a buzz kill, but it is best to keep your mission clear.

    Your rules of engagement should include agreement on several key issues:

    Intention – If either of you want it to even possibly lead to a relationship, that is a pretty good indicator that this NSA situation is going to get complicated quickly.

    • I love your approach to this. I agree 100%

    • i jst copied it frm google :P lol

    • :-O Plagiarism!!! If I didn't respond to this... I would have never known!!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • As a girl who's had no strings attached encounters I will tell you that it's probably more maintenance and more emotionally draining than a regular relationship. First, I'll start off by saying, sex without any emotions or feeling is awful. Than, you eventually start feeling like a peice of meat. Secondly, they're NOT always available when you're horny and it's almost inevitable that you'll catch a feeling or two. You're not gonna sleep with a complete stranger, so by nature you'll want to know more about that person. Tbh, if you don't mind being in a nsa relationship than more power to you, but I wouldn't recommend it if you plan on being psychologically healthy.

    • Even as a guy I feel this way.

    • As I have said in my prior responses below this type of relationship isn't for everyone. If detach yourself emotionally then you will truly enjoy the physical aspect of what you are receiving. If you can see sex as just sex (and nothing more), then you will not have any trouble maintaining this type of relationship. Even your own boyfriend wouldn't be available each and every time you wanted to have sex. The same goes with a nsa relationship. I am not saying sleep with a complete stranger (clearly, in my first rule I stated you will sit down and discuss boundaries with this person). Just do not dig deep in your heart and speak about personal issues with this person. That isn't the type of relationship you are seeking out. Being in a nsa relationship doesn't make one psychologically unhealthy. The person is just simply satisfying their needs for the time-being. Perhaps they came out of a divorce/long term relationship. Perhaps they aren't ready to be committed

    • The are various reasons one would want to enter into this relationship. (I am not one to be the judge). Sometimes we have to do what makes us feel good instead of what is socially acceptable to others. Sometimes your " right " isn't every one elses "right." If its working for the person and they have no issues with it, then yes, more power to them (I agree with that part).

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I think a lot of people -primarily women but not always- don't realise subconsciously that they're looking for a "real" relationship (exclusive dating, etc). When they go into a friends with benefits or fuck buddy deal, it ends up backfiring. It may take months or more, but eventually they "catch feelings" and become discontent when the other doesn't reciprocate.

    I personally am usually able to separate my emotions from my desires. In my case, I want sex. I want some degree of closeness before and a little after, but once I leave that house, that's it until the next time. I do my best to not interact with my fuck buddy outside of bed, but since he works at the bar I frequent, its not always easy to avoid. He usually instigates the interaction, and I usually shut it down. The funny thing being he is the one that broached the idea in the first place. Since I'm rather sexually attracted to him, I said yes.

    Recently I had a very emotional decision to make regarding my daughter, and I ended up crying in his arms. I later apologized and emphasized that I was not trying to involve him in my life, that we were just fuck buddies, and that he just happened to be the first person available when I broke down (it happened at the bar).

    Since then, he's been hesitant to approach, and where I'm sad about the lack of sex, I'm relieved he didn't pursue anything. He's never met my daughter, doesn't even know her name, and I want to keep it that way.

    Sometimes its hard, a part of me wants more, but then I remember how every one of those "real" relationships failed, how right now I just need to focus on me and my daughter, and how I so don't need to worry about keeping someone else happy. It works.

    I appreciate your take.

    • Thanks :) You make some good points here! What differentiates you from some other people is that you have control of your emotions. When you realize that you may be giving too much, or crossing boundaries of a relationship, you stand back and evaluate the situation. You make decisions based on the entire scenario. It takes a strong person to not let their feelings get in the way. Because you are right, it can be hard! Emotions can be very powerful! Aside from nsa, I am glad you are focusing on what is truly important to you and your daughter. Continue being a great Mom! Xoxoxo

    • *I am glad you are focusing on what is truly important, you and your daughter. (correction)

  • Wow. I have a fuck buddy and we literally did the opposite of everything on here.. Maybe that's why I caught feelings lol fml

    • Hahaha :)

    • after awhile the feelings go away

  • Friends with benefits situations are tricky and it's hard not to develop feelings with someone you're intimate with. In my experience, it only works when you don't make it a long term arrangement, a few weeks maybe, and you choose someone who you know is not relationship material to begin with. That makes it easier to walk away. To often people choose someone they are secretly interested in.

  • In nsa sex the problem is sex sucks in my opinion if you just jump into. I like a lot of foreplsy and thst orobably would go over the time limit lol otherwuse I see no problem with it. People don't akwats want a rekationship sometimes you just want physical release like a massage. But you should be honest if you actually don't want a rekationship or do but not with this person. I think in the matter yiud end up using her or him as a surrogate for a gf or bf. It'd get messy. These things work well when you really don't want a rekationship. Shallow oeople do nsa sex very well but then I'd think it'd be pretty dry sex bc passion makes a really nice session :p

    Rather than nsa sex id rather just have deep enjoyable experiences with people I like and am attracted to without worrying about a relationship.

    I don't think feelings are evil and they name sex better. You just have to accept youve decided you don't want a relationship. You don't need to be lifeless in order not to be in a relationship. You don't need to jump out if bed or run from the oerson like a hot potato. You just have to resolve you're not getting into a rekationship. Which should be easy seeing as you entered into a non rekationshio in the first place for some reason.

    I think being afraid of feeling just makes everything really boring. I'd rather gave whatever feelings I gave and just not fet into a relationship. If you dont want a relationship then not getting into a rekationship would be easy. Feelings it no feelings. People don't get into rekationship just bc they feel something. They gave to want a rekationship.

    If you're so worried you're going to develop feelings AND want a rekationship then it diesnt sound like you should be entering a non rekationship rekationshio.

    If you really don't want a rekationship feelings aren't going to chanfe that therefore need not be destroyed or feared... I think people who are worried about attachment should not be in NSA. Just get a gf or a bf.

    • Foreplay would not cross the boundaries of this type of relationship. Like I said any thing sexual is acceptable. It's not so much so that the person is running from the fear of strong emotions. It's the fact that doing the innocent things that I mentioned can eventually allow someone to gain those strong feelings. Usually one tends to feel that way without even realizing it (it sneaks up on them) People always enter into relationships stating what they want. But usually their emotions take over. They end up wanting more out of what they are given. If they follow these guidelines it simply won't happen. Friends with benefits is a great relationship to have when you cannot handle the commitment that comes along with a relationship. Feelings are not "evil". But they can definitely ruin someone if the other person does not feel the same.

    • Well that's a relief haha I guess if I need a friends with benefits ill have enough time to enjoy myself :-) Thing about feelings is if you don't want a relationship like genuinely don't want one then I dint see why developing feelings would change that. If you start to want a rekationships then being in a friends with benefits isn't serving its purpose and you should break up and find something more fulfilling. Maybe after a certain amount of time the friends with benefits is eliciting your true feelings about wanting a rekationship. As apposed to the feelings caysing you to want one. I think when you want a relationship you should have one. As long as you don't want a rekationship Nsa is fine. I just think feelings don't lie. Doing little things affects some and not others bc some people want rekationships and others don't. I think if those little things are enough to make you want more you probably wanted more without realizing it. And it's saves time to just

    • Acceot that. It's like it's nice to walk and you want to enjoy the walk and don't want anything to ruin it so you don't walk through places that are distracting... walking into a cafeteria isn't going to make someine want to eat unkess they need food. And if you need food you should eat. It's just my opinion. If you gave to go to all shirts if Kenneth's to make sure you don't feel something to preserve a great thing... That thing isn't great and probably not fir "you" ( not you but any you)

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  • friends with benefits ... now there is an awesome dream!

  • No strings attached sex only works for people who are so cold and heartless they can never possibly develop feelings.

    This whole friends with benefits stuff is utter, utter guff. It's nonsense and you only have to see the amount of posts (mostly from women) to see that people will develop feelings when engaged in this scenario.

    You'd have be as thick as elephant excrement to believe you can be actual friends while having sex with each other.

    • Friends with benefits is slightly different than nsa. A lot of friends with benefits believe they can carry out regular boyfriend/girlfriend actions and not develop anything. They are wrong! At some point whether it is on that person's end or the others, it is going to happen. I disagree that people that seek nsa sex are "cold" and "heartless". Someone can enter into a committed relationship and be "cold" and "heartless" towards their partner by cheating, not listening to them, disregarding their feelings etc. Seeking what is right for you at a specific time in life does not define you, make you less worthy, or cold.

    • Fair enough, I just cannot fathom why anyone would want to have sex outside of a committed relationship where there's no feelings or emotions involved. Then again I am rather narrow-minded on this issue as I have my own personal standard for myself and will automatically dismiss anything that I don't agree with. To me if a person can have sex with another person and not develop any feelings then are they any different from a man that can kill another man and show no remorse? It's a sign of an underlying mental health problem in my opinion. The Western World needs to look at mental health more seriously because I believe there's an epidemic of mentally ill people in the Western World and there amount of decadence and immorality that exists within our societies seems like a symptom of it.

    • (By the way I did not rate you down, so you know). Great argument you are bringing to the table. This is why I believe there is a difference between having sex with someone vs. love making. Sex to me can be with any one and it doesn't necessarily have to involve a emotional connection between the two people. (This is why many may engage in one night stands or casual sex). They can easily separate their emotions from sex. Love making is something you do with someone special. (There are emotions involved) and you will probably do things (sexually) with this person you have never done with your past partners. It is usually much more intense. I really wouldn't compare someone who can easily detach themselves sexually to someone suffering from a mental health issue (although that could be SOME peoples case). Many people seek outlets and engage in behavior that they shouldn't be.

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  • I've had 1 relationship like that i was 19, it worked for us, we never talked about anything you said to talk about, but we agreed it was only sex, so he would call I would go to his house watch a movie then get down to it, there was no feelings on either end, then there was times he'd come to my house, it was extremely fun and hot, but as you said it's not for everyone, some people just can't turn feelings off, And that's ok there is definitely more enjoyment when there's feelings there. .

    • Glad it worked out for you! Doing things you mentioned (and not catch any feelings after), doesn't work for every one. Some people catch feelings easily. For those people they should have some guidelines for themselves.

  • Interesting take, I thought the NSA just recorded phone calls

  • I cannot imagine a relationship as desolate as this. Better to masturbate to POV "porn". I can envision a friends with benefits where you are involved, but have a different set of rules. Pals that have sex, good talk (between friends) and carry out Chinese.

    • Rarely does that ever happen without one side eventually catching feelings for each other. When that happens things get ugly and awkward. Fuck buddies aren't for every one!

    • There are always feelings in friends with benefits just like any other friendship. They just lack dating protocols and thoughts of marriage.

    • I am guilty myself of using the "friends with benefits" term interchangeably with the "nsa relationship". The fact of the matter is they are not the same thing. Friends with benefits are people who do pretty much do most of what those in a committed relationship would do, just without the label. With that being said, feelings are bound to happen. NSA relationships are strictly sex and nothing more. People don't automatically have feelings for someone they have sex with especially if they haven't shared anything from a emotional stand point.

  • This is something I wouldn't ever have a problem with. Sure, I would MUCH rather have a relationship with a girl, but if I didn't have feelings for her after a while, sleeping with her wouldn't make any difference or change that. Sex doesn't define wanting to be with someone or not, thats kinda shallow in my opinion, there's far more to a person than that

    • Yes, you are right "sex doesn't define wanting to be with someone or not". But when two people get together and share deep meaningful conversations, hang out, carry on what a girlfriend/boyfriend would do (just without having the label), feelings for each other are inevitable. This is why it is best not involve yourself emotionally.

    • "But when two people get together and share deep meaningful conversations, hang out, carry on what a girlfriend/boyfriend would do (just without having the label), feelings for each other are inevitable." Exactly my point, you didn't mention sex once in that example. My point is those things you listed will determine weather I will be attracted to someone or not (plus looks initially)... having sex with them wouldn't suddenly make me catch feelings.

    • I didn't have to mention the sex part..."Friends with benefits" It's already in the title of the name. "having sex with them wouldn't suddenly make me catch feelings." Yeah, I agree unless the above in what I mentioned were included. Are you for or against nsa relationships?

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  • I have a idea... DONT FUCK THEM! omg... I.. A. M... A... G. E. N. I. U. S

    • Gotta say.. this was funny lol

  • That picture on the bottom is hot.

    • Anyway, I would never enter this type of relationship.

    • :) Good! It's not for every one! If a relationship is what you seek then go for it!

  • I prefer one night stands over NSA to fulfil my sexual appetite.

    • You'd rather never see the person again? Why?

    • It's ok to see her n even hv sex with a girl again. But I don't like to hv a girl just for NSA sex and to hv planned sex each time with her. I prefer spontaneous consensual sex. And the different girls in different one night stands gives different sensations and experience. So more thrilling

    • Wow! I admire your honesty and the fact that you didn't go anonymous.

  • This is straight up a fuck body, the relationship revolves around sex. A friend with benefits is an actual friend you have sex with. It's possible to care about someone but not have any romantic feelings towards them. I think it makes the sex better since you can communicate what you want eaiser if you have an actual connection with them. So while emotionless sex is cool you can still have an attachment to them without any strings attached

  • girls who sleep around tend to have STD's.

    • You, you are absolutely right. People who sleep around tend to have an increased rate of catching an std. The simple fact is like a person in a committed relationship people with an nsa partner can be just sleeping with that one person (in not every case, is this person doing it with everyone else). Even when someone is sleeping with just one person, they are still at risk for catching an std. The only time someone isn't at risk is if they consider abstinence or are a virgin.

    • Correction : "Yes, you are absolutely right." Not "You".

  • Howto turn to a professional slut...

    • By definition a slut is someone who Is sexually promiscuous. Just because someone has a NSA relationship doesn't mean that they are sleeping with every one. They could be doing it with one person for all you know.

    • Point is, your serious relationship will never like this fact. A girl who sleeps with a proper BF for the relationship is MUCH better than this. I mean, he knows that you're sleeping with him cause you enjoy the sex, which's possibly better than what he gives.

    • This gives insight about the girl that she may cheat for better sex. Cause for her, sex is all about the fun not feelings (that's why she was making out with that guys in the 1st place).

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  • So in today's times we have sexless marriages, and friendships with loveless sex.

    Sounds like real progress.

  • Even easier:
    Don't have no strings attached sex.

  • No matter how hard you try, it's IMPOSSIBLE to not eventually fall for your friends with benefits . Deny it, you're deluded.

    • Friends with benefits is slightly different. I am talking about nsa where the "friend part" is eliminated completely. Detach yourself emotionally and it definitely won't happen. People don't just fall in love with people they have sex with if they aren't emotionally involved.

    • Riiiiiight... NSA or whatever, emotions FORM and evolve.

    • From my experience, no.

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  • As someone who's had two of these no strings attached things, I can say that I fell for the first guy I did this with. I tried not to, but I picked someone gorgeous, smart and acomplished. This made me end things, and now there's another guy I occasionally do this with, who's also handsome and all, but I am also: 1) dating guys who treat me right, 2) keep my distance from this guy, not even wanting to spend time after sex much, 3) care more about myself and have self respect to know what I deserve. Basically, keep busy and 4) distinguish between the emotional part which I need and get from dating and that sex with him, which I put no thought into whatsoever and it is great sex. Plus my friend with benefits drives me home.

    Bottom line, know your worth and demand things.

    • Yes! You are good at regulating your emotions. I am glad you found what you need for the time-being and that it is working out for you.

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