How to bring out my lovers kinky side in bed?

Really want to learn what he wants and wants to try when do I bring it up with him?

In bed or before or while snuggling after?

0 0

Superb Opinion

  • Bring it up right after the two of you have finished having sex, while that glow is still there and you're both feeling a little light-headed. That's honestly the best time for me to talk about things like that- I tend to be super open and willing to talk about my sexual preferences and likes/dislikes.

    • Sounds like a good time during sexy snuggles

Most Helpful Girl

  • The best way to start is to have an honest and open conversation about it outside of the bedroom. Ask him if there’s anything that he likes or anything that he’d like to try in terms of kink. And if he says that he enjoys something ‘taboo’, don’t shame him, since you’re the one asking in the first place. If there’s something that you want to try with him, bring it up and ask him if he’d be interested in trying it. And if he says no, don’t pressure him or make him feel bad for setting boundaries.

    • Thanks but what if he says there is nothing? Am I making him happy or is he hidding something? What if he does not know?

    • Then the only available method remaining is to bring up various scenarios and see if any of them turn him on.

    • If he doesn’t know, then you ask him if he’s open to trying things to see if he likes them. Sometimes the only way to find out if you like something is to try it. And if you don’t like it still after trying, then at least you can say you’ve tried.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • While others might suggest talking with him in bed I'd actually suggest doing it over a coffee after flirting all day.
    Then show him this map.
    You can each click on the pins and place them on the map where you want them, store it and then share the url allowing each of you to see some of the kinks the other have.
    It's a great ice breaker.

    • Mind you, it's not the end all be all of kinks, both of you may have kinks not on the map. Also, remember, you're the one asking, so *no* kink shaming. Kink shaming when he's opening up to you is equivalent to cheating in my view...

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

1 9
  • Ask him to tell his fantasies. Then you'll have ideas you can choose from.

    • But he says that I'm his fantasy laid out in bed

    • Ask him if he wants to try toys

  • Always bring up a subject like that when he's hard... and touch his penis repeatedly when you're talking about what you'd like him to do.

    • Gross I'd hate that!

  • People learn best by example. If you want him to be kinky, be kinky yourself. I'm sure you have some kinky ideas you haven't tried on him yet.

  • Ask him what he fantasizes about for masturbation. Some of it may be on the edge (mine is) so assure him it's OK for you to know and not judge him. Maybe you can parallel some of it.

    • Well what is your fantasy? Kinda like edgy

    • Some things including urethral and anal play.

    • Not really edgy kinda boring Seems most guys want that! Yeah I'll get my strap on and slide something in you. Not different from my roomate

    • Show All
  • You can try different things in bed. That's exciting and a turn on.

    • How do I get him to try things? I'm so no wild in bed feels like I don't do much sometimes s

    • Maybe start with something enjoyable to you? Do you have any naughty fantasies? If you are enthusiastic that's a real turn on for a guy and will get him really hot.

    • But I don't really have any I'm broken for not having any

    • Show All
  • You don't need to bring it out. Let it come out when it's ready

  • Different people have different choice

  • Their is no crime in asking. So just casually bring up the subject of role playing.

  • What do you want?

    • Best time to get my partner open about kinks hidden

  • I think in bed before during foreplay is a good time. When he's very horny and ready for sex, he should be more open to talking about what he wants.

    • Sounds fun