How to know if someone is a man or a woman, if she/he looks like both?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

So, I have a new coworker, she/he is pretty like a girl, but is tall with manly frame and dresses like a boy, her/his hair style is also like a style of a boy.

When I first saw her/him, I thought he was a very handsome teen, when we were in the same room, and I looked at her/him, (enough already, I’ll just say “they”), so when I looked she always put her eyes down like a very shy boy and then secretly looks at me, she definitely knows I am a girl, I have well defined hips, breast and definitely look like a girl, I have felt this attraction to him, but I feel like “Is he really a boy, or is he a girl with the style of a girl?” Because his voice is not very manly, not girly either. Just in between and he is pretty like a girl. He walks like a boy, but then lots of Asians walk like that.

She also feels so shy around me.

I am just confused, I felt attraction because he obviously looks like a boy, and I am as straight as it gets.

I just wonder, maybe that’s a girl.

Today we had a workshop, we had to take our shoes off, I also think whoever she is she has a foot fetish and really likes my feet, cause she stared at me and my feet all the time.

It’s really confusing. We have lots of coworkers and It will be weird if I just straight up ask his sex.

How do I find out if that’s a boy or a girl?

[Grond21]

Ask about their family. How many siblings they have, what was it like growing up with them. What were the relationships between particular siblings. In their conversation, it should come out.

[msc545]

Why is it important for you to know this? If you are attracted then you're attracted no matter what their gender is.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Because I am not attracted to breast and vagina.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am repulsed by them.

[msc545]

Okay well I think you're either going to have to ask the person or get to know the person and ask them then or wait until you and the person you're both naked and see what that's like. If you are attracted to the person and the person turns out to be female you may find out that breast and vagina don't matter and are not repulsive with this person.

[msc545]

After all, you presumably have breasts and a vagina yourself

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Nope, nope. I am 100% certain, I am not attracted to anyone with a vagina. My own is enough for me. What attracted me to that person is the obvious masculinity, as this person is either a man or does really look like one. And I don’t know why, but I feel they also feel attracted to me, however I don’t know is this an attraction from a boy to a girl or a girl to a girl, cause I’ve had some girls interested in me. I don’t do that and I can’t do that though, I love men and I just admire male body, there’s no way a vagina or boobs can excite me. I know this for sure.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I like my own boobs and vagina, but other peoples’ - no. I DON’t even look at girls when watching some hmm movies haha, it’s men for me.

[msc545]

Okay well if the person's appearance is as amorphous as you say it is and I am sure you've described it accurately then about all you can do is either ask them or forget the whole thing or get to know them to the point where you're sure about what their gender really is. I would recommend getting to know the person since asking them although it is something you can do it's often described as being very offensive by people with unclear gender. If the person is in fact female then you might just make a new friend. If the person is male then you may acquire a new love interest. Either way I think you come out ahead by doing this.

[msc545]

I would be very interested to know how you handle this and what the outcome is for you.

[msc545]

My interest is professional only.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Professional? What’s your profession? :)

[msc545]

Psychologist

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Oops… I now feel like I was standing naked in front of my window, while you’ve effortlessly been seeing through my window.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I doubt I will ask their gender, that would be too impolite of me. I will just ask the name next time and I’ll find out this way.

[msc545]

I'm sorry if I am embarrassed you but I don't believe in lying when people ask me a question that I can easily answer. Questions about my profession come up on here from time to time and it's not a big deal. I do this for relaxation and not as part of my profession.

[msc545]

Don't be surprised if knowing this person's name does not add any additional information to the information you already have. I have found that people who have amorphous gender or wish to be appear amorphous to others often have names that are neither obviously female or obviously male.

[msc545]

I think if the person's name is not helpful to your understanding of them then getting to know them a bit will probably provide all of the answers that you need.

[msc545]

Remember that attraction is also fluid.

[katiesmuff]

Watch which bathroom they use and follow them in watching how they relieve themselves.

[Paige90]

See which restroom he/she goes in

[CoolCatMar1]

Just ask them lol just not in a weird impolite manner

[HaveNoName]

Aim a kick at the crotch and look for the reaction without actually going through with the kick.

[Charliefretz329]

Shoulders, hands…

[wannabeCuck]

Them being vocal about it. Other than that I don't know

[tallblondejohm]

If ur rubbing there thigh and try and cop a feel and u grab tree trunk it's probably a guy