How to lose uneasiness regarding oral sex?

I have been pretty shy about this topic with the guy I am dating since 2 months and I dunno how to deal with it. Already told him that, in theory, I am not wild about him eating me out. Only the idea makes me embarrassed, uncomfortable and also anxious, but I've kept that part to myself, apart from not being into the whole ordeal. Giving him oral is easy, that's alright. In fact, he's very excited and vocal about repaying me for what I am offering him for that reason, but I honestly don't know how to get more relaxed about the subject.

I think a big part of my insecurity stems from him kinda putting me on a pedestal. It's pretty cute and flattering most of the time. He always tells me how happy he is with me, how good we work together personality-wise, hobby-wise and sex-wise. Basically, perfect in his eyes. And then he mentioned that if I'd taste good as well, it would just make it better and he'd be even happier than he already is. I don't think he meant to put pressure on me by saying that, but now I can't get it out of my head.

Like, if it ever got to that and he won't like the way I taste, that'll just always hover in the back of my head whenever we're having sex and it would mortify me.

I try to be as clean down there as I can be. I frequently shower and wash myself when we're spending time together, even in between after using the bathroom, but I am so paranoid. Like, him being so close to me and able to see everything terrifies me. What if my PH is off without me noticing and I smell really bad? What if a piece of toilet paper sticks to anything? And don't even get me started on my butthole being there and me being ashamed. I am afraid everything will be different if it doesn't work out.

Can anybody give me any introspection on the subject and how to approach those fears? Girls, how can you relax and just let it happen without being anxiety-ridden? Guys, what's your experiences here? I feel so stressed about this...

1 1

Superb Opinion

  • I am an ordinary guy with modest equipment, stamina and libido. I came to realize that I was not being effective in PIV for those reasons and maybe more. So I decided to study cunnilingus and fingering like science; to find out exactly what to do and when to do it. Both are, and particularly cunnilingus, are acts of physical love from a man to a woman that is unsurpassed by anything else. A man feels deep love giving them and a woman feels loved receiving them. You are unintentionally denying him the privilege of truly making you feel loved.

    *Hygiene. A fresh, hydrated vulva has an innocuous scent and taste. I describe it as buttery with a pinch of sea salt. What causes tanginess you don't want is fermentation between residual urine (sterile with lots of "nutrients") and residual vaginal mucus which contains some nutrients, bacteria and even yeast. If those residuals are not present, you will be ready for cunnilingus at any time. The solution is that you thoroughly warm water rinse your vulva from cleft to perineum every time you sit on the commode. Even at work. Bring a plastic cup with you. If you let it go, tanginess builds and you may not smell or taste clean even if you rinse.

    More to follow.

    • Post 2
      You said he mentioned that if you'd taste good as well, it would just make it better and he'd be even happier than he already is. By rinsing as I advise, there is nothing additional you have to do. You WILL have a good taste and fragrance and have no misgivings about it. But remember. Those residuals can find their way into your vagina (the hole). So be sure you wash that out to second knuckle depth as well. Since you mentioned it, rinsing will resolve your pH issue as well. The natural pH of fresh vaginal mucus is correct. If a piece of toilet paper sticks to anything? Rinsing will eliminate that issue.

      I can't skip by this issue. "Don't even get me started on my butthole being there and me being ashamed." A simple way to mitigate this is his position when giving it to you. Do not do it inverted like 69. That places your anus very near by when attending to your vagina. Careful hygiene can help but nothing there is ever 100% sure. So do it in the conventional vertical position. This one.
      How to lose uneasiness regarding oral sex?
      This one gives him easy access to your breasts (augments cunnilingus) and allows for eye contact. It also allows him the best moves.

    • Cunnilingus can result in a spectacular orgasm. With the pleasure and intense intimacy the "being loved" feeling and of having given yourself him in the deepest way, nothing compares to it. How to initiate it? Take a little command of yourself and draw HIM (!) into it. Have him position himself into (nearly) the position above and commence intimate self-pleasure (aka masturbation) so you are showing him what you want him to love on. And then simply ask him to take over for you... by asking him to lick you. He will be eager beyond description, as would I. Good luck.

    • Dude you had too much to say on this subject! 😂

Most Helpful Guy

  • Totally overthinking this! I realize that there's bodily fluids that come out of both urethras but It sounds like you are very conscious and hygienic. I'm also presuming that you have intimacy with the lights on if you're concerned about him seeing anything. That's easy to solve turn them off! Lastly, if you describe it as an ordeal or it would be intensely anxiety-provoking then don't do it and ask him to respect your wishes. I really think you should try to get over the anxiety. I'm sure the ladies would back me up...

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 8
  • A woman that does not like to be given oral sex... sign me up!!! I don't mind doing, but it put a huge cinch in my neck. I need to know its clean down there before I go down... like she needs to be fresh out of the shower, and if she does not shave down there... I ain't going down there no matter what.

  • don't battle your nature. don't do it neither get it nor give.

  • I think you should tell him how you feel. He’ll probably reassure you.

  • I wouldn’t stress out too much. Just suck on his dick because you love doing so and don’t think about the extra details

  • Tell him you are very self conscious about how you might smell or taste so that's why you don't want him going down on you, but you could try it right after a shower.. shower.. hop into bed and have him go to town. Him doing it is probably the only way you are going to get over it

  • Not have it?

  • I can see where you are coming from but think of it this way. The things you describe are true any and all can happen. to any one of us at any time but it is part of the human foibles that happen to us at the worst possible moment in our lives. it is part of life don't let it run your life. Relax mentally have a stiff drink smoke a joint if you do them think of the pleasure he wants to give you. Think of the pleasure of having your clit and pussy adored and if one of those worrisome things happen say fuck it. I am sure his package has not been perfect all the time.. Relax let go life is too short to sweat the small stuff enjoy sex don't worry that something mught go wrong

  • Every experience I've had giving oral to my wife and to previous girlfriends has been a turn-on. I've never found the taste or scent in any way bad and the scent is actually attractive to me. I think if you think about how attractive you are to him and how much going down on you (which he's told you he's eager to do) will turn him on, that may help.