How to make sure my daughter doesn’t follow my footsteps and become a teen mom?

I had a baby at 15 I am 25 now I turn 25 this month. I managed to graduate high school, undergrad, and get my masters I’m also engaged. I am currently very close to 6 figures
My parents didn’t really give me the option of slacking off I still had to work twice as hard with a child that I don’t regret. It was very hard for me to make friends but since college I did make lifetime friends... I’ve had people call me a whore, a slut, a whole bunch of different things for having a baby. and my dad wanted me to get an abortion which he regrets now. I went to a strict Catholic school all my life and when we moved and went to public school it was like a free for all and I knew nothing. I hope to raise my daughter to understand everything about sex once she hits a certain age.
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Superb Opinion

  • The only thing I can tell you is if you see her starting to get involved with the wrong crowd, the worst thing you can do is to forbid it.
    You sound like an amazing person and a great role model. Parents have a big influence on their kids and if they see consistency and fairness in the way you treat them they will pay attention.
    I would say just stay involved in her life and take an interest in her problems. You cannot hover over her 24/7. If they get it in their head to do something stupid, they will figure out a way to do it. The trick is to make the stupid thing look less attractive.
    I didn't finish college the first time around. I ran out of money and ended up dropping out. I went back when my kids were little. They used to see me studying all the time and I drummed it into their heads that they should get it done the first time because it is so much harder to do it at night with a full time job and kids to take care of. They all graduated on time with degrees in math or science except my youngest who graduates in 2 years.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Talk to her about it, and then be an under standing mother and remember what you did as a teenager. Times are worse now, sex is an everyday thing now, and some don't even hide the fact that they're having sex, some even on 1st or 2nd dates...
    Set her up with a doctor's visit as early as you feel comfortable as she reaches that age, allow her to get the PILL or another form of Birth Control and ensure she understands it's use. You can't be with her 24-7 and it's her decision when and if she'll have sex with some guy. Let her make the responsible decision, but you've provided the Safety Net, just in case.

    In my teenage days it was all up to the guy to provide the protection (condom), when things were going too fast and uncontrollably exciting. But breaking that moment to fumble around trying to find the small package, tearing it open and again fumbling while trying to roll it on correctly, all the while as she is watching you fumbling around. Both of you getting embarrassed and flustered and your penis is beginning to lose it's SIZE and she just lost her desire, and you're hanging there with a half flaccid penis.
    Maybe that was the 1st real Birth Control.

    Either way, set her up with a your doctor and a safe and reliable form of Birth Control; be available and open for her to be able to talk to you about her experiences and how she might feel about having sex... if she will talk about it.

    "Times are changing".

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You have my respect and admiration for getting this far. Love your daughter, do what you can to guard her from bad, teach her to make good choices, and make sure you'll be there no matter what.

  • It seems like there could not be a greater role model for your child than yourself, you know first hand and better that anyone of the consequences and the challenges about these situations.
    it would be of great help if you keep at a safer distance, such stricts doctrines as extremely religious people, and schools.
    sex education has to be impartial yes, and should be gradual, according to their ages.
    Where I come from and in general, sex education starts around 9 years old, and is not about sex, but our bodies, our anatomy and differences among the genders, then around 11/12 is when you talk about puberty, from the very natural aspect it, the changes that come with it, etc. And then again around 15, is when you have these talks about responsibilities and challenges that come with life.

  • She needs to learn the true nature of a young men. There is an excellent book available for her to read called men and marriage by George Gilder. Read it yourself with her and discuss the points that come across

  • just tell her the struggles you had as a tenn mom. tell her boys aren't mature enough at that age to take care of a child. scare her a little

  • Help her get on birth control when she shows an interest in boys, don't stigmatize sex and make sure she's got education and career goals.

  • Do what you think is best. I admire you so much for doing what you do for her. God Bless You. Im sirry you were labeled. But your a hero to me.

  • Share your mistakes with her. Teach your kid, it's best to learn from the mistakes of others than finding out the pain and sorrow for themselves.

  • It sounds like you are starting out good in my opinion. Maybe lots of love and understanding to your daughter. Never treat her like shit and she may even wait later in life to have kids.

  • You can teach them all you want, but when hormones kick in, you have no control.

  • Education, but you can't control her. Pray for help. Be kind to her. Let her ask questions. Validate her.

  • My guess is you are no longer together with your daughter's dad?

    • I am not. He has nothing good going for him that I’d want him in my life. He has the option of seeing his daughter but doesn’t follow through so I’ve limited contact as that’s not healthy for her to be let down. She hangs out with my fiancé a lot... so I’m not concerned

  • Just tell her dicks are bad stay away from them

    • No that doesn’t really do much my parents told me nothing and said sex was a sin which I don’t agree with their tactics it’s shitty but it does nothing.