How to manage premature ejaculation as a couple?

[Anonymous]

Is it ever so bad that a man cannot engage in penetrative sex?
How do you manage to have a healthy sex-life?
Does it improve?

[Mr1derful]

I’m not embarrassed to say, even though I’ve been with the same person and married to her for over 15 years, it still happens to me somewhat often! First, if we have sex a lot like 2-3 times in a day, this isn’t an issue. But if we go awhile without it, my excitement can’t contain itself so it happens. Usually if I masturbate before hand, I def last longer too, but I find that I tend to lose the horniness and don’t really want it anyways, so that’s not the best option. But I def can last longer especially if she just wants fucked hard and that’s it! Sometimes, it’s so hard for me to come from it. But if we really want to be together, taking things slow, a lot of foreplay etc, then I would recommend a numbing spray first on him. You can get a numbing spray from the grocery store, or Walmart or Walgreens for example, KY makes one. They have brands online too. But the KY one works for me! He sprays it on 15 mins beforehand. I keep it in my nightstand. When I feel it’s about to go down, I secretly grab it and head out to the bathroom. I apply a few sprays and rub it in and really try to wait at least 15 mins beforehand. It def helps me, even to almost to a fault and frustration to her because it’s too long for me to come and meet her’s! Else, I might wear my We-Vibe vibrating cock ring that helps keep the blood trapped in for a harder, longer, and firmer erection and last longer too. Plus she gets to enjoy the vibes resting on her clit and help her come faster to meet him! But the spray seems to be the best option I think!

[Cof1412]

You could have him talk to a doctor to get help with it. I don't have experience with it, but I'd hope it could improve. In terms of having a healthy sex life, I'd say you need to continue to be supportive and as non-judgmental as possible. I'd guess he probably feels shame with it. I'd suggest taking penetrative sex off the table for awhile. Make it a priority to still have intimate time together on your normal schedule (every day, every other day, whatever works for you guys). He can focus on pleasing you, you can give him oral or hand jobs, you guys could do mutual masturbation, which might help him some with control. You could have him use toys on you. Just so you are both in bed together having fun and he doesn't have that pressure for awhile might help. I know they make Promescent, which is a delay spray, to help with it as well. Again, not sure any of this makes it better when you guys try penetration again, but it might.

[Msputiton]

I don't know.

I would suggest speaking to a doctor to see what opitons there are

[ohsheeT]

All guys are different I believe that I was blessed when I lost my virginity because it was with an older girl and in my head I was supposed to see fireworks since I did not see the fireworks I thought I did something wrong she said it was great it took me three more tries with her to understand it I was more worried about making it good for her because that's what was going to make it good for me until I learned that on the fourth time wasn't until it all came together for me and for her she said the first three times for great but on the fourth time she said oh my God and that's because I made it all about her if you can get your boyfriend to not get so excited and to concentrate on making it about you it makes sex 1 million times better for the both of you when two people can become one that's when it all changes

[DoctorSex]

Dam, I'm still shocked that this type of stuff is a thing...
There probably needs to be les emphasis on sex. It's a tough one because I'd recommend he watches more pornography to desensitise him... but I'm sure thats an idea you wouldn't be too thrilled with.
Sex education is another option. He needs to be exposed to sexual acts/Ideas more often. It sounds like he's a rather reserved gentleman.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[JPresidente]

You could work with him for starters with mutual masturbation and teach him edging and withholding. If you google around, you should be able to find web-sites that show him on how to edge. When he learns how to edge and stop, that will improve his premature problems.

[jjj101010]

I have not suffered from this but there are a few things u could try

[Anonymous]

Well, making him feel like he is failing is not the way. You call it "unhealthy," but I think it is normal. This usually happens because the guy feels pressure that he has to prove himself to you as a man. When sex becomes work and not fun, then this will happen.

Men also get sexually objectified, much like women. Society believes that men always desire sex, and if he does not, there is something wrong with them, and he needs to see a doctor or take a pill.

It would help if you asked him what he likes. You need be giving something back to him. Do not just let him do all the work and then make him feel bad when something stupid happens. That will give him performance anxiety. He needs to enjoy the sex too.