How to refrain from sex/ejaculation?

[Shortstuff1980]

My wife is in a lot of pain from neck issues. She has has two spinal fusions in two years. (First one failed) Her moral is down and feels she can't please me. She pleases me just fine. The issue is sex hurts her no matter how easy we go but she refuses to just stop sex all together. I cannot handle her pain so I figure if I can stop being horny then it'll help her stop being horny.
Are there pills to help me lower testosterone, foods, baseball bat to the nuts (jk), that can help me?

[DonkeyDan]

We all have needs that have to be met. Do you masturbate, maybe it's something she could do for you if that doesn't cause her much pain that is. There really isn't anything you can do that is healthy to lower your testosterone naturally, and you really don't want to either. Testosterone isn't only responsible for sex drive and reproduction, it's responsible for a lot of other systems in the body such as bone density and prostate health etc. Lower testosterone will lead to health complications later in life too. I need to find a way to focus your mind on other things, maybe go to the gym or take up a sport of hobby. With all that said, it is your wife's choice how much pain she is prepared to accept to be able to continue having sex with you, after all she is doing it bit only for you but for herself too, even if it purely for the satisfaction that she it pleasuring you.

[Shortstuff1980]

I do masturbate but sadly that a 30min fix and then I want sex even more. Same goes for sports or high activity. The gym other hand can't afford not mention all the home projects I currently have. As far as reproduction not worried about it as I got cut 16 years ago. And while yes my wife can say no she won't. She won't put pain before me and that's not fair to her. We need her pain to subside not increase.

[DonkeyDan]

As o said the health issues regarding low T isn't just about reproduction, it can be quite serious for mens health on a long term basis.

[Shortstuff1980]

I am aware of the mental health aspect. This is hopefully short-term as we find more info on here neck and pain in October. I will do what it takes to keep from adding to her pain

[Angela_S]

Just masturbate, and/or get some sex toys. I work away from home 3 - 4 days each week, and my live-in boyfriend has to go without sex. I bought him a sex-doll as a joke a few years ago, he tried it once when we were both drunk, and it works really well, so he uses that now. The sex is still great when I get home, so I know it's a good way for him to get the release he needs. People will tell you all their views about how horrible it is for a guy to use one etc, so what? If it works, it works.

[Shortstuff1980]

I am glad that works for your boyfriend. I really appreciate the idea. I cannot get the release I need from masturbation sadly. We still have kids home so a doll is not an option let alone how expensive they are. Plus my wife and I find the doll super creepy. I may see if a hypnotherapist can reset/refocus my brain to not want or need sex.

[Angela_S]

Yeah, good point about the kids. We just got a really cheap doll, it doesn't really have to look real, as long as he can go through the motions and use it as a "receptacle". It's kind of just become a chore for him now when I'm away, so he can avoid having aching balls for days. We have proper pleasurable sex together when I'm back. It's not for everyone though, I agree.

[PrettyPriya]

Have you considered meditating? When done properly it can really help clear the mind.

[Shortstuff1980]

If only. Trying to meditate only clutters my mind more of thoughts.

[PrettyPriya]

Then you aren’t doing it properly. It is to empty your mind, not think. Plenty of info on google should you try again. Other than that, tough situation. Good on you for being caring and respectful to your wife’s condition.

[Shortstuff1980]

Thanks. I want her happy again. Her post-op appointment is October 4th so hopefully we get some answer.

[PrettyPriya]

I hope everything is good news! Have a relative that went through similar and not fun at all. Best wishes to both of you. ❤️

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you for MHG 🙏❤️

[Shortstuff1980]

What is MHG? You're welcome though lol

[PrettyPriya]

MHG = most helpful girl

[CubaPirate]

Cock cage chastity