Sexual Relationships
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How to tackle sexual desire in a Long distance where I can't meet my girl in between?

All right, I am a 25 year old male. I am in an LDR for 3 years now. We both are mad in love with each other. And, I definitely know she's the one for me. Before she left the country, we used to make out frequently. She was so well into it. But, due to the distance, we tried sexting and sending each other nudes (I was still watching porn and my girl was fine with it). It went well for a few months until one day my girl dropped a bomb saying she was never into sexting and feels insecure.

I understood her fear and discomfort and I tried to switch to porn on a permanent basis, ejaculating while thinking about her body. But, it didn't work. I didn't get the same pleasure. Later, she opened up saying that she doesn't like me watching porn. So, I tried looking at her random selfies to get stimulated. It didn't work much as my mind always got reminded about the sexting phase. I tried to convince her and help her overcome the insecurity.

But, she is pretty firm about not receiving any help. She indeed feels bad to see my tackle my sexual desires (I still love her so much. She loves me the same). There are some visual triggers during our regular videochat sessions. The sight of her brings back the sensual time I had with her. I am still trying to resist those temptations.

After all the fights and confusions I have now arrived at abstinence. Staying away from any triggers and not fap at all (3 weeks done as I write this). Is there any solution to this situation knowing that we both can't travel and meet each other in between due to our work schedule. And, she's going to be away from me for another 3 more years.
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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • You were successful in being abstinent for a period of 3 weeks and that is already a good start. You can continue and suppress you urges by following a few simple steps.

    In order to suppress the urge to uselessly manipulate your body to induce artificially those spasm and muscular contractions, there are a few things that you can do and they don't cost you a dime.

    1. Proper diet - eat foods that are reducing libido. You can find a list of such healthy foods online. Just search it on the internet.

    2. Yoga - you can bring your body in tune with your mind and a number of exercises you can do also lead to a reduced libido

    3. Exercises - if you exhaust your body enough, the energy that you waste on your body manipulation is used for useful and healthy exercises. You can bike, jog and swim

    4. Meditation - a healthy mind in a healthy body. Meditating brings peace to your body and with the right exercises, the need for body manipulation vanishes and those constraints are no longer an issue in life.

    You can achieve your goal to stop body manipulations with the combination of those 4 healthy habits.

    With time, you will not even need to manipulate your body, even in a relation. It is a matter of using psychology over your useless desires.

    • Thank you. And, I forgot to mention to mention that am already into exercising, meditation and tuning my mind spiritually. I hope it works. Thanks once again :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems weird that she is just like forcing her will on you without compromise and expects you to just take it for like 3 years?

Most Helpful Guys

  • So she moved away, doesn't want you to watch porn, doesn't want to do anything herself to satisfy your sexual needs, and wants you to stay like that for the next 3 years?

    Not looking good unfortunately, sounds like it's just her way or the highway with no thought about you're desires in the relationship

  • Robin... why deprive yourself of some great orgasms? As you know jerking off is normal and healthy for all younger guys. I was in a LDR for a while and we did Skype and Facerime sex. It was way fun to watch each other masturbate and have an orgasm... maybe try that

    • I suggested that. But, she's not feeling comfortable about it actually..

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 6

  • Love is patient and love also endures all things. If your love is of God, it will come with patience and endurance

  • I quit reading on the first sentence. LDR's are a complete waste of time.
    Consider dating someone you can actually SEE and BE WITH. You'll get WAY more out of it. I guarantee it.

  • Move closer if she is that special. Stop wasting time

  • I think abstinence will only lead to resentment in the long run, she should be willing to compromise

  • Surely, in the next three years, you can find time to be together?

    • Sorry. I don't get you..

  • Jack off to get your rocks off when you can’t be with her

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