How usual is this type of recovery after sexual abuse?

I would like to share a story which is about recovery after trauma.

Please, note this is already too difficult to describe, please stay respectful.


First of all, I would like to warn you - trigger warning. Please, do not read if it upsets you.


A few years ago something very terrible happened. It’s very heart-wrenching. Unfortunately, it happened to me. It was a sexual assault, I can better call it rape. This lasted for 8 months because I lived in another country far away from my family. The details are too terrifying. Plus many attempts of rape happened regularly. Thus this is why I will not give details. I remember how miserable I felt and I felt very depressed. I still feel ashamed and trauma is still haunting me.


After I managed to escape this disgusting scene, I saw doctors and I finally reported this crime to the police.


After a successful escape and after having sought professional help, I decided to practice positive thinking method. That means trying to trust people again, to be exact, trying to trust men again. Of course, it is very difficult after sexual abuse. However, I managed to find good male role models who may help me thinking positive about relationships. It is very complex to tell. But by thinking of a very good man who is one of the good role models that I admire and who is already super friendly to women, helped me thinking positive even about sex.

You know what sex is like but after rape you forget many details. Sex becomes a nightmare. I was scared of having sex after those terrible events. But by thinking of this good friendly man (who is known as great person) I think I healed myself a little while trauma will never disappear. At least I can think positive about men and sexual relationships with them. I wonder if this method is good. Would you recommend this to other sexual assault survivors too?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • It sounds like you are on the right path. You will never forget the trauma you suffered, but you can learn to trust a good man who cares about you. You can regain your libido and learn that sex can be warm, intimate, loving, tender and pleasurable. You can discover the erogenous nature of your body.

    When I was 36, I started dating a 30 year old woman. At some point, she confided that she had been sexually molested by her step father for almost 10 years, from a very young age until she reached puberty.

    It traumatized her and turned her into an alcoholic. She got married and had a son when she was 17. She and her husband divorced a couple years later and he got custody of the son. But it was not a bitter divorce.

    She moved away, went into therapy, successfully battled her alcoholism, and learned a career. She pulled herself up by her bootstraps, worked hard, supported herself, saw her son regularly, and was determined to be a normal girl. She refused to let her past destroy her.

    I had been in relationships from the age of 16, but she was the first woman I ever loved with my heart and soul. She was actually hypersexual, I think as a result of her trauma, but I loved everything about her - her intellect, pluck, courage and determination. She was still in ongoing therapy when we were together.

    She is one of my heroes.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your story. Your story makes me feel better :)

    • I'm glad. I hope you overcome your trauma and have the happy, fulfilling life that you deserve.

    • Thanks

  • I think if it helps you if it's a positive for you then yes it's a beautiful thing.

    I would think it would be very hard and I'm glad that you did call the police because so many women do not call the police and that allows the man that did whatever they did to do it again over and over because they think they got away with it so I give you thumbs up on that that is cool that is a positive other message that you're giving to other women right now

    I have a friend that kind of was in the same position but not I don't really want to tell the story on here but I do have lots of questions about it I don't know if you could answer them or not it's just weird on the way that she deals with things

    • You can ask me if I can help her.

    • I would like to help her I mean.

    • I haven't seen her in such a long time I was just curious about certain things and maybe trying to understand why she's doing what she does

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Whenever you have a traumatic experience the effects of that trauma never go away. Recovery is a matter of choice. This may seem insensitive but it’s true. You can either choose to be the victim or you can choose to not be a victim. Recovery is subjective, it’s different for everyone. You can choose to live your life in fear or choose to not let the fear run your life.
    For example. As a child I nearly drowned. For a long while I was afraid of water and drowning. But I chose to learn to swim and be the best at it as I could be. I still have the fear but now I’m better prepared for what might happen.

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