How/Where/When should I approach you?

[Anonymous]

I’m a Christian man, and I knew at the age of 13 that all I wanted in life was to be a family man. To have a d support a loving wife and as many kids as I we can make. Unfortunately, “it takes 2 to tango” as they say.

Im now coming up on 27 years old now and I’m still not at the starting line. I don’t even know where or how to look to FIND the starting line. Im talking no contact at all. No women approach me or talk to me and when I try the approach, I get this look like I just approached with a massive boner in full view (which, to be clear, I did not 😂).

I tried the online approach for years now, but that’s yielded no results. Women on those apps don’t seem to actually want to meet someone. I haven’t had one online conversation this year. I never get any matches, responses or attention. The women I try and talk to don’t respond or most times even check their messages. Some have even blocked me when all I’ve done is the most basic way of letting them know I’m interested.

Really am tired of getting nowhere, you know? Truly. I don’t know what to do. My prospects on having a big family are looking more and more grim every day. Especially since people seem to find any reason not to get married these days. What’s worse is that Those relationships I DO see these days are often any where from 4 to 7 years long before the even get engaged. I DON’T WANT TO JUST START TRYING TO HAVE CHILDREN AT 35 LADIES! So please, help a guy out. What should I do? Where should I go?

[Emiliamazing]

Things have changed so much since my dating days. I met my husband he was 27 and I was 24. We actually originated from the Midwest. I was felt like it was a friendly part of the country compared to other places I had lived in my unit. I think if you’re approaching women for dating, are haps just focus on happiness and not the expectations that you may eventually have of any relationship. Many women, including myself, are professionally motivated as well as wanting to have companionship. Goals can change and desires can change, but happiness and love should always remain. Focus on that rather than where are you expect the relationship to go, because there will no doubt be some speed bumps and curves.

[Asker]

True enough. I have to be pick though because a good 60% of everybody I’ve talked to in the last year don’t even have the same concept of dating. It’s atrocious. I don’t really talk about expectations so much as my purpose in dating. When most women you talk to want to date because it’s fun and for no other reason, you tend to want to talk about why you want to date in the first place right off the bat.

[SaoirseS]

I never tried online dating so I'm indifferent about it. But in meeting people in your work and social circles, it's a matter of finding someone where the attraction is mutual, maybe somewhat in looks but more often in character. It either happens or it doesn't. If you're looking for someone who matches you perfectly in values and beliefs, it might happen but likely isn't going to.

I don't know how much of a role being a Christian plays in your search for a perfect mate, but you might consider Christianmingle dot com.

You may not mean it this way, but it doesn't sound like you're looking for a mate or partner in life, it sounds like you're looking for a woman to be a baby factory for you. While they may exist, I don't know of any modern, realistic woman who wants that.

Good luck to you.

[Asker]

Thanks for the wishes. To clarify, saying I want to make “as many [children] as we can” is more of a friendly figure of speech. What I seek is a life partner. The companionship. The connection. The support. And all of those things being mutual. I should hope that goes without saying. Unfortunately, being a Christian is incredibly limiting on my pool of options. Still, for my God I would give my life. And if I am willing to die for Him, than living for Him is also my honor. ChristianMingle is a one of the dating apps I’ve tried though. It’s terrible.

[SaoirseS]

Thanks for clarifying. I don't know that being a Christian is as much what is limiting you, I think finding someone with your degree of devotion is going to be the toughest. Don't lose hope though, I think it's better to find the right person later in life than to get in a hurry.

[Nkyshemera]

Where r u from?

[Asker]

Missouri, USA. Why?

[Nkyshemera]

It was to explain in sociological ways. Maybe I was going to say that if women are a shy conservative country or you stay passive in a country with very high expectations, but it is a bit strange that you can't find it yourself in that country.

[Asker]

I know, right? I’ve even heard a bunch that I’m not that bad looking either. Of course, I always tend to hear that from 50+ year-olds. This country really has gotten its priorities messed up.

[Nkyshemera]

Don't be so mean, it happens when you let things flow. You're only 27, not 40.

[Asker]

And yet, there can’t be a flow of there aren’t 2 people.

[Nkyshemera]

Good luck in life, I hope you get what you want.

[Anonymous]

If you want a naughty woman, go to church.

[Asker]

I do. None there. A naughty woman would be nice. Not gonna lie. Lol

[Opinion Owner]

I'm a classical guitarist. I was invited to play at a church on Christmas. While leaving I was shuffling out with the crowd. I was carrying my guitar, music stand, guitar stand and music book.

Do you know what a guitar stand is?


I was behind a young lady in a short dress. I pronged her in the hoo ha with my guitar stand.
I wanted to die. I told her how very sorry I was. Do you know what she said? lol

[Asker]

I’m guessing something naughty. 🤣

[Opinion Owner]

She smiled at me and said I can do it again if I want. lol


Now I really was embarrassed. I wondered if anyone else heard her. It was crowded and noisy, so I don't think so. It was a midnight mass so when I got home, I couldn't talk to my husband about it.

[Asker]

Oh, now that’s funny 😆! Don’t know about the midnight mass thing though. I don’t practice catholic traditions. Could you tell me why midnight mass means you can’t talk to your husband?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm getting home at wee hours in the morning, and how exactly do I wake up my guy to tell him I pronged a girl in her hoo ha at church? lol I told him the next day. It would probably make for a good comedy movie.

[Asker]

Sounds like it. Thanks for sharing! 🤭