How would you feel if you learned your partner had ptsd from sexual assault? How would you handle it?

[Jendcheuebc]

[Wsx2wsx2ws]

Well after my divorce my x-father-in-law told me something I really could have used years before. That his daughter/my x-wife was molested.
At that moment it hit me all the signs where obvious. Well maybe not because I never put it together nor was I able to help here like she needed it. I would have gotten her therapy/counseling. Just the same way she insisted/demand I get help for my signs of depression. I think partly why she was so insistent on me was because she needed help and no one quite picked up on it. I feel so stupid and blind and a failure.
I was quite upset at the father because he knew and did nothing. Most of the issues we faced had nothing to do with us. It would have been nice to find that mysterious cause and that we could have found that ever elusive solution.

[Anonymous]

My initial reaction would be feeling angry and wanting to hurt the person that did that to her. I would gently encourage her to get professional help to deal with that. I wouldn't ask for details but I'd make sure she knew I was there if and when she wanted to talk about it. I would also be understand that this may effect our sex life and I'd pay close attention during sex to make sure she was "present". Things she liked before might not be ok now and I would need her to tell me what not to do.

[Subarugirl]

I would listen, they need to trust me and feel comfortable enough with me to be able to communicate and talk about what happened and how that still affects them. I would ask if there is anything that I could do to avoid things that would trigger that.

[Faith18letsgo]

I would start using protection. And say “I’m so sorry this happened to you. It shouldn’t have happened.”

[Nawlins34]

I'd end the relationship, if we were in one.
If I'm courting her, I'd end it right there.

I'm not a fan of people having pending issues entering into a relationship that requires effort and vulnerability when they should be focusing on themselves and healing.

No one is perfect, but a wounded person entering a relationship is destined to fail.

[Jendcheuebc]

PTSD isn’t something people just get over

[Jendcheuebc]

Never said they weren’t coping with it

[boggboss]

By trying my best to console her I guess what else could I do

[jshm2]

Everyone and their dog has "ptsd" these days.

It's getting to being a running joke where you ask "what are you suffering from today?" .

[Subarugirl]

Post traumatic stress is no joke... declining mental health is a epidemic in this country.

[Tornado92]

@Subarugirl That's cuz u white bitch's r so dramatic.

[Subarugirl]

@Tornado92 if that were true than why are men 3x more like to commit suicide… it’s not a gender specific problem Chad

[Agape93]

We discuss it, the triggers and what we are and are not comfortable with. Not my first rodeo

[worldscolide]

I've been there. I'd feel horrible.. But I'd also try very hard to make sure my behavior towards her was not going to trigger anything. If that makes sense.. I'd try to understand it.. Take a look at my question below as an example..

https://www. girlsaskguys. com/qt/sexual-behavior/q4824672-how-is-a-rape-survivor-ever-able-to-have-sex-again

[worldscolide]

Really gag you added spaces come on..

How is a rape survivor ever able to have sex again? ↗

[Andres77]

It's happened twice.
They both were having a nightmare of their rape and woke me up my scratching and hitting and pushing me away yelling at me to stop.
I grabbed their wrists t said their names until they woke up. And then they fell asleep sobbing in my arms. Had long discussions the next day.

They didn't want counseling then. I think both went on to very successful lives. I was around as much as I could be but eventually I got sent away (military) and they moved on.

[Sparkie460]

I would take the time and discuss it with her. I would do everything to make sure she was comfortable with me and didn't consider me a threat to her. We would go as slow as she needed

[maximumpower]

speaking from experience - don't touch her when she's alseep.

[OddBeMe]

I think i would ask experts. They literally go to school for this shit.

[Luckycharms12]

Try my best to help try talk her in to counselling could really help

[jirwin7979]

i do have CPTSD from sexual assult from age 7-14 now i am to scared of men and find my ptsd triggers when a male touch's me below the belt

[Xtendable]

I’d handle it with as much understanding, compassion and empathy as possible, avoiding situations that may trigger her trauma, allowing her to navigate her emotions, memories and fears whilst being there to support her