He claims the reason is because he's heavy and he's afraid to hurt the baby even though I've explained to him it's safe, is this normal , will he ever desire me again after pregnancy?
So I am not speaking from experience here. I don't have kids. Many of my friends do, as does my brother, but to be honest I have no idea whether any of them experienced this in their relationships.
But when I first read your question, my thoughts were "yea... I can sorta understand that" (I've definitely thought about having kids).
Then when you mentioned him going off the beer, it made even more sense.
So first, this isn't about YOU, it's about HIM. What I mean is, it's not that you are any less desirable to him (and I don't think you need have any fears about his desires to you post-pregnancy). It's more, as you say... he's going a little crazy about being a new dad. But not in a bad way.
I don't know exactly what is going through his head. But this seems like a guy who is very serious about being a good father and partner (even if he's not doing as well on the latter one as he'd like to be at the moment).
This is someone who is trying to undergo that life-change from worrying about yourself, to worrying about your family. That is a huge change, and I think it's actually a good sign that he's freaking out a bit. I think he'll relax after a while, (I don't know if you're 2 months pregnant or 8 months).
But... have you talked to him about how you're feeling? Not just that you want sex, and assuring him that it's safe... but talked to him about how you're worried he's lost his desire for you? I know that's not what's happening here. I know he doesn't want to make you feel that way. I don't think talking about this will 'fix' anything outright. But at least it'll give him some chance to hopefully reassure you.
I debated whether to include what I'm about to say or not. I still don't know if it's the right choice to include it. But: I originally thought "yea I can see where he's coming from" when I read your question because, I've WORRIED about myself acting the way your boyfriend is acting if I were to find myself in that situation (with a pregnant girlfriend/wife).
I don't know that I WOULD react the same way (in terms of not really wanting sex while she was pregnant) but I worry that I might.
For me, it's a mental thing. It's like a paternal instinct is triggered, and suddenly your body is not simply a sexy curvy object of desire... it's now... where our baby is growing. It's difficult to not be conscious of that. That would be especially true as she started showing more and more. It's like it triggers "baby mode" rather than being an uncomplicated "turn-on".
Now, I am not saying that's normal. Not saying it's good, or right, or even that this is at all what your husband is feeling. But, like I said, I've worried about reacting the same way... and it's a worry because I can fully appreciate that this can put stress on a relationship. I'm just throwing it out there. In case, somehow it might be useful/helpful in understanding (although not necessarily 'accepting') where your husband MIGHT be coming from. 🙂
Thank you
You're most welcome. All the the best to you and your family🙂
Seems just a bit overprotective and trying to do the right thing. I was similar when my girlfriend got pregnant. I had never really been attracted to pregnant women before. When she got pregnant she got super horny and often she would wake me up in the middle of the night and initiate sex, sometimes I wouldn't even be awake but find her riding me or me riding her or with my cock in her mouth, sometimes I would be awakened to a very intense orgasm. Sometimes I would come home to find her masturbating awaiting me to bone her. Eventually she got to big for penetrative sex but we still fooled around. I was like a horny dog, I used to giver a warm bath for some of the pregnancy aches and all of a sudden I would be hard and of course I had to jerk off to her in the bath, same as the shower. Her tots grew to be about the size of her head and her ass got massive. She was super horny during pregnancy. We continued to fool around even when she was 9 month pregnant about to pop. I still jerked off to her, still got blowjobs and tittyfucking. We started here penetrative sex again when she was overdue and starting to get preclamsia. I f*cked her a few times in the hospital ward when she was brought in to be induced, the curtain was pulled over and we tried to be quiet but the other women knew I could tell by the way they smiled at me, and of course taking her to the bathroom.
You and your husband should enjoy this period because you won't ever get it back. It becomes harder to have good sex when the children arrive. If he's worried about being to heavy for you ask him him to jerk off to you while you masturbate, just before he cums he can slip it in and thrust until he cums. One of the problems you might have as the pregnancy goes on is your guy getting carried away when he's trusting and getting close so maybe ride him.
I would also recommend continuing to have sex after yiu give birth. Obviously you need time to heal so just give your man a blowjob or have him jerk off over your tits or your ass. I appreciated my girlfriend doing this for me, even the day after she gave birth
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!There's a small percentage of men who freak out a bit when their woman gets pregnant, and, yeah, it's not unheard of. Something in their brain just doesn't get the messages, and they get obsessed with weird ideas. Usually they get over it eventually, but, yeah, some guys just can't stop overthinking about it.
He might have a side chick, it's not normal for a man to not want sex for so long.
is he actually heavy?
120kg and 6ft 3
Your husband's behavior is totally normal. And, I'm reading and responding after you posted your update and, yes, totally normal for a dad to be to go crazy. It's that protector thing in our operating system. So, yes, he's normal. As for sex, what about you riding him cowgirl? That way he's not on the baby. Or doggy style, again, he won't be on the baby. We had to do both when my wife was pregnant because she got too big. And, yes, he will still desire you after you deliver. We've had four kids and we're still having lots of awesome sex.
They aren't fragile. Doesn't he understand that? If they were that delicate, the species wouldn't have survived. Also there would be no need for medical abortion.
Come on over! I'll take care of ya.
Yeah, if he doesn't get any sex!! Throw him down on the floor, get on top of hm and ride him the the bronco buster you know you are!! Tell him it's for the good of the baby!!
He'd have to be big for that to work so that won't work
I don't get it. You can't throw him down? Or, his dick isn't big enough?
No offence but if your man is anything like me, then he just isn't turned on by pregnant women. If I had a wife, I wouldn't have sex with her when she is on her period or pregnant. Its just isn't a turn on. + I would not take any chances of hurting the baby, no matter hiw many doctors say its ok.
Because two people are a couple doesn't mean both of then have to give sex whenever the other one wants. This goes for women as well.
I didn’t want sex with my pregnant wife because I didn’t want to hurt the baby. Even though the doctor said it was alright, I just didn’t want to do it. It’s not just intercourse, it’s my size and weight, the jostling and the constant thought that I need to be careful.
U sound exactly like my husband at least that's more reassuring that it's not something wrong with me and he will feel attracted to me again , do you mind me asking how long it takes after the baby born for things to start happening again? I truly am worried about the whole situation
After the baby, very soon. As soon as she was well enough. We have 3 kids so… 😀
Thank you I really needed reassurance with a guy who thinks the same as him :)
There is always doggy style.
I used to be like Your husband. I'm sure He'll desire You. Forever is a strong word.
You can also do a cowgirl, doggy style, you laying on the bed and he's standing next to you on floor over you.
He's probably frightened as it's his first baby and even though it's safe but that doesn't stop paranoia getting the better of you, if he doesn't want to get on top, he can do it from behind.
Or if he's more of the more dafter reason but some men, even some women feel that that when having sex they feel like the genital will pop it on its head while on the inside while you are having sex
We had sex when she was pregnant you just have to be careful and try different positions that is all
Tell him you need sex and make reverse cowgirl sex, if he is afraid of it..
I made my needs very clear to him , if he hasn't realized but now it's affecting me , then he's totally dumb which I know he's not , he simply doesn't want sex and I obviously can't force him I make sure I look good , smell good, freshly showered I wear nice clothes to bed , nothing's happening it's messing up my mind , I just hope it gets better
I am sorry for you, I can feel how you need sex right now and how much you need to take pleasure from it, because your hormones are high, maybe you need to make your job by yourself unfortunatly...
I am doing that , it's just unfortunate because we could totally be doing it as a couple the way it's supposed to be done
Tell him you can get on top
It's perfectly safe to have sex when the woman is pregnant, even during the ninth month. In fact, that can even help to widen the birth canal in anticipation of childbirth.
If he indicates he is struggling to feel sexually connected to you, consider seeking some counselling together. If he expresses concern about your well-being during pregnancy, it may be worth asking your family doctor to reassure him that intercourse during pregnancy is usually safe.
What a dumb ass.
Its not normal, educate him.
I get the alcohol part, because you aren't drinking either, right?
No I'm not drinking, he's been affectionate telling me he loves me daily, posts pictures with me , still going on dates , I have put on a bit of weight but a totally normal amount for 6 months pregnant, it's destroying my mental health because I genuinely don't know if he will ever desire me again, I don't know if it's about the baby as he says or if it's because I got a bit chubby even though we both know I can and will lose that after the baby is here , he even gets scared touching the baby so then I think maybe he is being honest that he's soo terrified about somehow hurting the baby, it's really messing with my mind not feeling desired and just don't know if we will ever be ok again
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