Husband jacks off instead of fucking me. Why?

Story behind this. We live with my mum. Only get alone time when she goes to bed at 730ish. (He could fuck me at this time if baby is being good). I stay up all night taking care of our baby while he sleeps. He works I dont so I don't mind. I trade off with my mom at 4am who also doesn't work (this is her old work schedule time) I go to bed and join hubby til he wakes up few hrs later for work. At this time he could fuck me as well but I know he would be tired. BUT usually I wake him up by going in there anyways and he gets up and goes pee. Instead of having me at either of these times he chooses to jack off before bed.

Jacking off makes you not crave sex as bad right? Because you released your tension? So he's basically making himself not even want me? Am I wrong?
0 3

Superb Opinion

  • If he's jerking off daily he likely has no desire to have sex. He could be doing that because he's uncomfortable having sex with your mom in the house - even unconsciously - or he may not like having her there all the time and is punishing you. Alternately, he may just be stressed with work and/or providing for the new baby. If that is the case, try some different things, for example some toys from a sex shop (e. g. vibrators, lubes, nipple clips, dildos, cock rings, etc.), role playing, or sex games. Watch porn together and try whatever is happening onscreen. Take photos or make your own porno. Go to a nude beach or adult resort. Think about having sex in different locations such as in the shower, kitchen, outdoors, white watching TV, in a vehicle, etc. Try tying him up and having your way with him and vice versa. If you have a bush, shave it or trim it. If you usually have intercourse, give him a hand job or blowjob. Swallow his cum if you don't usually. Invite him to eat you to orgasm. Play with food, for example licking whipped cream off each other. Communication is key. If he still isn't interested, the two of you may benefit from couple's counselling, or he may have a medical issue such as depression.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yea that is fucked up , why would he choose his hand over having the real thing would definitely raise a red flag on why he is doing that, Did you change after having the baby , did he lose attraction towards you? How long ago did you have the baby? I heard sometimes when a guy watches his baby come out the vagina it turns him off and makes him not want to have sex with her again , I know that sounds crazy but their has been a bunch of cases like this , the image might of shocked his system so that can be a possibility as well, but whatever the reason something is definitely off for him wanting To jerk off over having sex. You should sit him down and have a long talk with him , Another question Did you guys live with your mom or is it his mom? before having the baby and had sex in that home while
    The mom is home? Maybe the fact that he knows the mom is in the home might be a reason he doesn’t want sex with you while she is there , some people get freaked out if a parent is in the home and they think they will be able to hear so it’s a turn off to them

    • Ok I read it again , it’s your mom , so yes that could be a Reason as well , it kills the moment if he feels your mom can hear You guys having sex, I use to live with my mother in law with my ex when I was married for a short time and my sex drive was lower during that time after my ex told me her mom heard us fucking so I kind of backed off some cuz it was a turn off knowing her mom could hear us , so I would mainly wait til her mom left the house then grabbed my ex and took her right then and there lol I would still fuck her when her mom was home but we had To be super quiet and that kind of kills the moment , so maybe your husband likeS to be loud when he fucks you

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What Guys Said

(39)
  • No, you're not wrong. I can't say what exactly his issue is (maybe he's worried about your mom overhearing?), but otherwise, you are correct. The real issue here is that the two of you aren't communicating about this. If I wasn't fucking my girlfriend for some reason, I'd at least tell her why, and I'd be working to find a way to resolve the situation and return to having sex with her ASAP.

    Is he perhaps afraid of having another kid?

  • It doesn’t necessarily mean he isn’t into you. Do you think you still look good? Or look as good before you got pregnant?


    I would think it’s more to do with respecting your mom’s house or not wanting to get caught or not wanting to rush the sex.


    I’d love to help you more if you have more info. Feel free to send me a follow and message if you prefer a private conversation or just comment back to this if you prefer. But we CAN figure this out. 😉

  • you are correct but wrong when saying he's jacking off just not to have sex with you. You're living with mom. You've had a baby. Dozens of reasons why men prefer masturbating. Remember one thing. That when a man masturbates he's fantasizing something. Could be mild to something very taboo. It will be up to you to explore. Do something out of the ordinary. Remember, in times that are questionable, please him without expecting return. If he's in a slump, turn it around. A man should do the same thing, but someone has to start it off, which is you

    • PS. Wake him up by giving him blow jobs. Then proceed to fuck him whether he wants to or not. Talk dirty too. Believe me. He'll wonder the sudden change. Nobody should have to be in the mood. The other should understand mood should not be the reason to withhold. If the case was the opposite, the woman withholding, she also out of love or mutual respect that a man has needs also. Maybe he just wants a quicky without all the lovey dovey. Its a two way street. So give without expecting. Hopefully in return he will start giving.

  • As to why he's perfering to masturbate I can't say. My suggestion is if your wanting sex take a leaf out of his book find a time when he's around and partake in some masturbation yourself maybe if he catches you he might want to join in!

  • Maybe it could be a million things and you should feel comfortable enough to be honest and open with the guy you married? Don't you think you both deserve that?

  • You should ask your husband this question instead of us & when you do feel free to let us all know. On the other hand maybe misses his man to hand relationship & likes when things are easy cum easy go.

  • If your'e living with your mom he may feel like he is failing as a provider. This feeling naturally makes men want less sex because if they can't provide they shouldn't want to have more kids (which is ultimately what sex is for). And when a guy doesn't really want sex so much as need it he'll understand that pleasing the woman he is with is going to be a much bigger challenge if he's only trying to get off.

  • What does he say about it? Why is he uninterested in you?

    • Just says he doesn't want to start something (at night) if he can't finish it. Which is a dumb excuse to me.

    • I agree; that's just avoiding the subject.

  • You have to talk with him and ask him.

    One possibility though is he just wants to "get it over with" and with masturbation, he only has to worry about himself. But again, only he can tell you. Communication is key in any relationship.

  • Yes, ejaculation releases the sexual tension and is an alternative to intercourse.
    Questions.
    Have you gained weight? If you have, he might not be attracted to you any more.
    Did you reject him sexually after the baby was born?
    That happens a lot.
    It is not unusual for man who has been rejected again and again, because the baby is being used as a cock blocker, to simply give up.
    Talk with about the situation.

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