Husband prefers porn over me?

[Anonymous]

Hello everybody. This is super embarrassing for me to post but I feel like I am at a dead end and I'm not sure who to ask anymore so I figured a guy's perspective might help. I've been with my husband for three and a half years and when we first got together we were constantly having sex obviously. You know that beginning honeymoon phase over the years it has slowed down but not come to a complete halt. But then this past year has been awful. I catch my husband watching p*** constantly whether it's actual pornography or just him masturbating to naked chicks on Grand Theft Auto. And I see this on his history all the time. And when I say all the time I mean it's every day. And here's the kicker of it. I don't have any issues with pornography. I don't even mind if he watches it. So why am I angry you ask? Because he never wants to have sex with me. I have to literally beg him sometimes just to touch me and at that point it's so humiliating that I usually just give up. I have often wondered if it's me because maybe there is something I am doing wrong or not doing or something so if he were to tell me I could fix it. But he swears up and down it has nothing to do with me. And we have been seeing a marriage counselor for the past six months and this has been a topic of discussion and he always swears that he's going to stop until he can start being intimate with me again but this is never the case. I have even told him several times that if he were to start paying more attention to me and actually wanting to have sex with me I wouldn't care what he looked at. But for some reason he still won't change. I don't think it's my looks. I really don't want to sound conceited by saying this but I am an attractive girl and to be quite honest a lot of guys hit on me even knowing that I'm married. So it may not even be me to begin with because I know that when we do have sex which is very rare it's incredible. So what else can I do?

[tinyclit]

Masturbating to porn may be much easier than dealing with your needs, especially if you need to be satisfied at the same time. You might try separating pleasuring each other into separate events. Either it's all about pleasuring him or it's all about pleasuring you. And if you enjoy yourself and feel pleasure while pleasuring him, he need be none the wiser. Don't demand he stop watching porn and masturbating. Instead, make it a part of your sexy time together. Any time you see him masturbating, automatically join in and start pleasuring him with your hands, mouth, etc. Do your best to pleasure him without making any demands on him. Make it all about his pleasure with no expectations,. Watch porn with him. Be encouraging and enthusiastic. If that doesn't work, at least you'll be better prepared for husband #2.

[cpzpbx3]

I would stay as open with him about it as possible so the lines of communication aren't breached... but to be honest it may come down to an ultimatum. Perhaps he doesn't even know what his own problem is, especially if he keeps saying he will stop and doesn't. I'm not against porn either, but maybe he needs to be forced to completely leave it alone to save his marriage.

I feel for you. I would hate that situation. I hope something gives. :(

[modeve]

Sorry to read. Your husband is auto-erotic, and may be having an inclination (unconsciously) towards young guys. He should have cared for your need. I apprehend you will find satisfaction out of wedlock, if so happens, your husband should be blamed.
Did you try to make him jealous by telling him concocted stories how guys comment on your body and wish to have sex? Then note his reaction.

[modeve]

Thanks for selecting me one of the MHGs.

[palerider]

It sounds like he's bored and doesn't realize what he has. Basically, he takes you for granted. What should you do? Don't make him stop. Incorporate porn into your sex life. Guys love porn because it is an easy way to get sexual satisfaction. Make him want you. Find out what porn turns him on the most and act out him favorite scenes. I would invest in some adult novelties like toys and costumes. Be his GTA girl. Get nude in front of him. If that doesn't work, take control next time you catch him masterbating.

[OlderAndWiser]

He needs some shock treatment. Ask him this: "I have asked you to address this problem and you have made promises but you never follow through and actually do anything, so. . . we are not having sex very often, and that's something that I really need in my life, so can you help me decide what I should do about this problem?"

[Asker]

Oh I've tried. I know he's been stressed from work this past work. Which I totally understand. But porn everyday instead? It sucks

[OlderAndWiser]

You can't make him change. If he doesn't want to change, you must accept him as he is or leave him.

[AustinMan]

Time to talk to him. Tips below. If that doesn't work, find a good couple's therapist. A good one can work wonders.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10152-how-to-talk-to-your-so-about-sex

[SheolCodeMonkey]

If he's very stressed he may not feel like he has the effort in him to have sex, whereas masturbating to porn is significantly less demanding, has he been worn down a lot? It could be that when whatever's draining his energy goes away (maybe a big work project or something) he'll get his sex drive back

[AndyOh]

He is not telling you something, whatever that might be. So you might have to do some prying to get the answer.
The counselor should see the main problem between the two of you, so I am surprised you have no help from him.
Either get a real answer from your man so you can make an informed decision about your future, or make a command decision now about what you have and what you can do. Without his help, you really can't do much for him.
I do like your attitude though... keep it.

[BCRanger10]

He's one of a growing number of men in today's culture who are preferring pornography over having actual sex. Porn has been demonstrated time and time again to be addicting. It makes no calls or demands for sacrifice on a man's part. It's easier for him. When he knows it or not, whether he says it or not, that he is preferring porn over having sex with you indicates - at least to me - that he wants something that porn has, but you don't. And that is NOT your problem.

I don't think you'll like this, but I think it needs to be said. You say you don't have an issue with pornography? Well, I think that now would be the time for you to re-evaluate how you feel about it. Not all men watch porn. Men do NOT need porn; to suggest otherwise is degrading to a man's free will and his ability to freely choose authentic love.

I'm not sure if that gives you a complete answer, but it's a start.

[Justme12]

Have you thought of asking him if you could watch the porn with him? Maybe even act out a scene of the movie. If that's what getting him going join in. If that's not what he wants let him know there's going to be a lot more fucking going on in this house, he can be the one getting it or you'll find someone that will. If that doesn't work call me I'll be right over. Good luck

[Regulatus]

I can only tell you what I would tell a man who's wife stops putting out: Leave now, cause it won't get any better the longer you stay. DTB and move on.

[drayday4]

Either he has a problem or there something you have stated did something happen between you 2 or did you gain weight have a baby is there any reason for his change of behavior other than the novelty wearing off

[Chromekids]

WOT the hell?

[Asker]

Right?

[chc0009]

How'd this guy impress you in the first place? I mean, I'd give up porn for my wife, should I have one.

[Asker]

Trust me, its a new behavior. The first 2.5 years were great. And he watched porn then but I didn't mind because he still wanted me. Now its one of those too late, now I love him things sadly

[chc0009]

Smh, and the perverts are the ones who marry and don't appreciate a good woman, when some of us aren't as lucky.

[Jan1ssary_]

He jerks off to Naked chicks on Grand Theft Auto? Lmao, I didn't hear something like that in my life before lol. Well it sounds like a "very big" problem for me, as far as I know reasons of "cheats" made by woman because of "their husbands Sexual problems" I bet u Will end up with cheating him and yeah, you are right to cheat him in this situation. He must take care of your needs whenever you Want, even if He
doesn't Want it at The moment, thats because its his duty as a "husband" but from what I see He doesn't give a shit about it and all He care is his needs. I think u gotta be careful about this, He might cheat on you or find someone New to have sex with, If I were you I would cheat on him cause of what He did.

[StickStickity13]

He's bored of the same thing.

[Asker]

Take my word for it, we have variety. The PORN he watches seems to be the same thing lol

[StickStickity13]

It's not the sex acts, it's seeing the exact same woman. He wants to experience different pussy.

[Asker]

Wow.

[StickStickity13]

Wow what?

[Danielthestig1]

Your husband is addicted to porn. That's a huge problem. If you want to expose how big of a problem it is to him then put a porn blocker on the computer and he will find it hard to function in life just like any other addiction. Maybe he will realize the problem then. It's not your fault.

[Anonymous]

instead of asking him for sex why dont you just initiate it by grabbing him and getting him going, shove your beautiful pussy in his face, get on top grab his thing and shove it into you that would help

[Anonymous]

lol ultimate rejection.

[Asker]

Haha no kidding. He is the first guy to reject me in that way. Not that there have been many lol.

[Opinion Owner]

its really sad to be honest. not on your part but on his.

[Anonymous]

Drag dude

[Asker]

Yeah it blows. And not literally lol

[Opinion Owner]

Haha 😂