I'm afraid I'm a lesbian - are these the signs?

[Anonymous]

I sometimes think girls are pretty I've never had a boyfriend but I want one and I've had crushes on boys I've been let down by boys and now when someone says oh he's so hot I feel nothing. Am I a lesbian bi or am I straight but numb inside from all the boys letting me down every boy that I like just want friendship. Please help I don't want to be a lesbian

[dave_b_quick]

No harm in you noticing that women are hot, it just means you are observant. Sexuality studies have shown that most people are not 100% gay or straight anyway, but have varying degrees of attraction to both sexes, although few will admit it publicly because of cultural stigma. The fact that men are generally knuckleheads should well give you pause, and will always be a source of frustration (spoken by a perpetually recovering knucklehead). In general what we men want/expect from a relationship is very different from what a woman wants/needs. Since you have already noticed this and are asking questions puts you ahead of the pack. In order for men and women to have successful relationships, both have to go beyond their own needs/expectations to some middle ground where both partners can get what they need. It will be hard to find a man who understands this and appreciates you enough to make the effort, and it will be hard to adjust your expectations to the reality of what satisfaction you can actually get from a man. At your age you have a lot of exploring to do while you learn about yourself and others. Don't feel bad about appreciating women, and don't be concerned about labels, you are not gay or straight, you are YOU. WOOHOO!

[sa230e]

If you've never had romantic feelings for another girl I don't think you need to be worried that your a lesbian. Everyone goes through periods where they have a beef with the opposite sex. You'll fall in and out of love with them and that's normal.

You're only 16. Your still going through puberty, you still have a ways to go before you get comfortable with the opposite sex.

[Anonymous]

I'm not straight... But I have to say it kind of hurts to hear someone WISH that she wasn't a lesbian. There is nothing wrong with someone like me and there certainly isn't anything wrong with anyone in the community I belong to.

Simply finding women attractive isn't enough to say that you're queer. You have to desire them in the way that you clearly desire men. Not just fantasizing a one night stand, but wanting to spend the rest of your life with a woman. If you're a lesbian, you wouldn't comfortably be able to imagine a future with a man.

Not all lesbians are man-haters, really. True, I'm a feminist and most of my lesbian friends are feminist as well, but that doesn't mean we hate men. We don't want to be with men because:

- The idea of having sex with a man is disgusting, animalistic, and demeaning

- Women please us better

- The thought of pleasuring a woman makes our panties tingle

If you are genuinely curious, the only way to know for sure is to experiment. And whatever feels right is usually the right thing for you. Until then, remember that there is no shame in being queer, if that's what you are.

[tistheword]

I really want to know what are gays and lesbians doing on a site that's url itself is girslasksguys.com ? You people have already f***** up "singles and dating" section in Yahoo Answer where one just cannot get relevant answers at all? all you people are doing on sites like these is creating hatred for people against opposite sex. If she's stating that she's didn't wish she was a was a lesbian she didn't say it in a lesbian forum ? Its a straight people site so why don't you leave ?

[Sugashawtie]

Hey, I feel the same way. And I know I'm not a lesbian. Darling, I got hurt too and I still love him more than anything and so everybody else I feel nothing for, it sucks and the only way to know is do what I do: fantasize about girls, if you don't find that appealing, your straight.:) seeing as you don't find any boys attractive right now I'm guessing you can't fantasize about them.

[elven_majik]

Your straight just hurt. It was kinda the same way with me, either I liked a guy and they only wanted friendship or I just didn't like any guys, but I eventually found someone at 18. I don't know if this helps you at all but I hope it does.

[Symon]

Ask a straight person and ask a gay person. Either way you seem like a straight forward teen who needs to define themselves too soon. Straight by all accounts but you change dramatically, as you grow and mature.

[Symon]

Your sixteen boys will let you down, girls will let you down. No one person has never been let down buy the object of their affection at least a few times in their life.

[Symon]

Most girls are pretty, some guys are pretty, never be afraid to admit that another person looks good. I'm not gay but David Beckham is fairly fit!

[Symon]

Are they your fantasy? Do you think about a girl when you know what, when your alone? You may be bi, ultimately you may just need to have a connection with a guy.

[Symon]

Boys are there, at sixteen not all of them know it yet.

[Symon]

Then snog a boy, play around, never be to easy then go on from there. Jees a little tetchy.

[Symon]

Nothing wrong with being gay! But your young you don't know your full feelings for the world around you. My experience says try everything, as long as it doesn't damage you or hurt others.

When it's time find a guy, see if you like guys (you know what I mean) you'll soon know.

[l-hedoniste]

You're not les. You're a straight girl with bad luck. Keep at it.