I am not my gf's best sex, her ex friends with benefits was better in bed than me?

After trying and trying, doing everything the way she likes i still am not the best sex she ever had.
I am together with my girlfriend since 6 years and i really tried everything and always gave my best but i am still not her best sexual partner no matter what i do.

I dont know what to do. Knowing that i am not my gf's best sexual partner is so depressing, it feels like i lost completly.

I can make her cum every time and she loves me and talks about marrying me but i feel like shit if some unimportant friends with benefits is better than me at pleasing the woman i love!

I really dont know what to do anymore.
I dont know if i can continue being her second best.

What should i do?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • here's the deal, if she told you that and isn't providing ways and information that you can improve on she's an idiot. If you're going to let one sentence destroy your confidence despite the fact that you're the one she's sleeping with, you're the one she's in a relationship with, and you're the one she's talked about marrying you're and idiot. Having sex isn't the Olympic games, you're not getting a gold medal for being the best fuck ever, what matters is she is satisfied. If she's satisfied then your job is done

    • Who cares if she sleeps with me? Who cares if she is in a relationship with? Who cares if she wants to marry me? This has nothing, absolutly nothing to do with my problem. I dont get it how someone can be happy about being sevond best! Its nice that she is satisfied but its not good enough if there are others that were better at pleasing the woman i love!

    • Wow, you really are hopeless. Go get some therapy already, or better yet, just tell her to lie to you so your feelings don't get hurt again

  • This actually bothers me. I would be hurting like crazy if that were me. You should end things now before the hurt gets worse. Why even stick with her? Isn't that like giving her back up sex or extra sex? It's like she's using you for that.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Did she tells you that you are not better than her ex? If she tells you then I think it's her fault.
    If she doesn't n you still keep thinking about it then you should leave it. Even my ex was way better than my current boyfriend but that doesn't mean I am not happy with him. Sex is great but it's just another thing in a relationship.

    • Maybe he's smaller than the friends with benefits. Size does matter right?

    • No it doesn't. At least not for me

    • Would below average girth be a dealbreaker

    • Show All
  • It's pretty shitty that she told you that and evidently continues to tell you that you "fall short" of first place. Why exactly are you staying?
    I don't know why a woman would say that to a man she cares about and talks about marrying.
    If I were in your position I'd probably go ahead and cut this one loose.

    • She told it her friends and I've overheard it, later i asked how to improve. After trying a lot she told me not long ago that i am one of the best sex i ever was... but not the best. And there is nothing i can do to improve. Seem like i am destined to be nothing more than her second best.

    • My god you're whipped. You overheard her telling her girlfriend you're a bad lay and it's you apologizing? What kind of yuppie shit is this? Were you sipping a wine cooler and listening to One Direction while she was saying this? Any man would've been throwing her shit out on the lawn and turning on the sprinklers then telling her to call #1 and ask if she can live with him and eat his food and shit in his toilet. And yes, there's something you can do. You can dump her and find a woman who's worth the oxygen she consumes. If you're going to be stuck working the next 40 years at some job you hate (probably), it might as well all be supporting and loving a girl who deserves you and thinks you're #1. In any case, quit trying to get her approval. I've seen many men crushed because emotionally over invested themselves in some damn woman. You can be good at 100 things and potentially great at something but none of that matters if you don't appreciate and respect yourself.

  • How do you know you're not better? Is she telling you outright or are you specifically asking her?

    • Maybe he's smaller than the friends with benefits. Size is everything to women

    • @Pats1213 As a woman who has had varying sizes of penis, I disagree.

    • Really so you could love a guy with a small dick

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 10
  • There is nothing wrong with her enjoying sex with another guy more than she does with you, in my opinion. In fact, that may ultimately prove to be a very positive thing.

  • READ READ READ. I bought every book I could get my hands on when I turned 18 and read everything from Penthouse Forum to Kama Sutra to the Big O. Knowledge is power. (I had a girlfriend who I thought was my soulmate tell me I didn't know shit about kissing and less about sex. She changed my life)

  • If you really love her, you'll marry her, but let him come back and fuck her the way she needs. Accept your situation and be considerate of her desires

  • Is she the best you've ever had? If not, have you told her?

    Do you think she told you such a thing just to get under your skin? If so, drop her and move on. You don't need to live like that.

    • Yep, she is the best I've ever had and she knows it. I overheard her saying this to her friends that her ex friends with benefits wss her best, later i asked how to get better for her, not long ago she said i improved and that i am one of the best sex she ever had... but not the best

  • Seems like an insecurity you're carrying. Sounds like you have a good sex life, you satisfy her. Do you really want to throw away a relationship, potentially marriage, over your ego?
    Would you rather she lie to you? Probably something you never needed to find out but at least you know she'll be honest with you. Life would be much easier for her to lie to you, but lies ruin relationships

  • Pretty much sums it up.

    I am not my gf's best sex, her ex friends with benefits was better in bed than me?
  • You can carry this lesson forward with you in life. Your partner's past sexual experiences are none of your business

    • Everything that is from interest for me, everything i want to know is my business!

    • Then don't wine to strangers on the internet about comparing yourself to others... you make it this way

  • Talk to her about it, not us.

    • No use, i can't seem to improve any more

    • It's not about you improving, it's about getting her to understand what telling you about that makes you feel, like a sexual failure.

  • Really man, 6 years she's been loyal and stuck by your side and you're worried about being the best sex? C'mon dude... I feel like if sex was that important to her she would be with the other dude.. She loves you man.. can't you just be happy with that?

    • No i can't. Knowing that some other guy was better at pleasing the woman i love is a fucking shit feeling. I dont get it why y all people always mention "love". Love is important, sure, but so is sex andi dont know how anyone can be happy being nothing more than second best.

  • Sometimes it's not what you do or even how you do it. It's the head game, the attitude you bring to the table.
    I will never win a medal in the sexual olympics either. So freakin what? Sex is not a blood sport and if she wants to make it one and constantly put you down with her version of a comparison tthat you only have her word for, then she's not worth your time. Find someone nice.

    • Everything in life is a competition, if i am not the best at pleasing the woman i love than there is sth very wrong. I dont get it how someone can be okay with being nothing more than second best! by the way. She doesn't put me down, she told me after trying to improve since a long time that i am one of the best sex she ever had but not the best. The first time I've heard that her ex friends with benefits was the best was when i overheard her talking to her friends.

    • Life is s competitive blood sport onlynif we make it so. There are better ways, cooperation comes to mind. The the thing is competing means winners and losers. You feel llike a loser here (you're not, but I'll come back to that) and look at the fucking mess you're in. There is a better way. Sexual preferences are not objective. Different women have different preferences. Just because this woman rates another guy a bit ahead of you doesn't mean every other woman would do so. You feel like a loser because you are living by a bullshit code and buying into the bull you have set yourself up for ths mess.

  • Why the fuck would you guys share that sort of details in the first place? O_O

    • Thank you! I agree.

    • She shared it with her friends and i overheard it