I can't cum when he goes down on me? Help?

[Anonymous]

I can't cum when he eats me out and it's becoming a problem for both of us. It's not because of him, because I can feel pleasure and all but I never came through oral with anyone. I just can't relax and let myself go. When I feel I'm feeling more pleasure I make him stop. I don't know why but I'm afraid to cum like that. He's an handsome guy and we've been dating for over a year. I feel totally confortable with him, even when it comes to sex but not when he has his face between my legs. I get really tense when he's down there. I'm also afraid that he does that just to please me and that he doesn't like it. I don't even want him to stay too long there because I think he can get bored or tired so I make him stop after some time (5-10 min). How long does it take to you to make your girl cum that way (or if you're a girl to cum that way)? How can I overcome this nonsense?

[kaylaS91]

It's mostly a matter of you getting fully comfortable with the idea and being able to relax. What makes you worried specifically about cumming while he's down there, if your'e okay with the general idea of him going down on you?

He won't get bored or tired. If it takes you 'too long' or he starts getting a bit tired, he can always switch to fingering you then go back to oral after a bit. A lot of guys, as far as I know, enjoy being able to get their woman to climax orally so I'm sure whatever 'work' it takes will be worth it for him.

I had the same concerns as you when I first got with my boyfriend. It took me about a month or 2 till I was able to climax from it. It was a bit weird because he got me all turned on through making out/fingering, then surprised me by moving downstairs to eat me out. So that was pretty quick for me to cum from, as I didn't even have much time to get stressed out, y'know?

[samhradh_leannan]

Talk to him about how you feel. Tell him what you told us. Maybe he can address some of your concerns or say or do things to help you to feel more comfortable. The better you understand how you feel and the more open you are with him about it, the more of a chance you have of overcoming the block you have.

[the_rake]

probably better to get aroused first and have the juices flowing (natural lubrication) so when he goes down you feel more relaxed and into it. he's probably fine with doing it otherwise he wouldn't keep going down without you asking. otherwise communication is key as well as hygiene (to make extra sure you smell good).

[the_rake]

and by communication, showing him what your preferences are - e. g. you might not like it when he goes straight into it but better if he eases in gradually, working around inner thighs and labia than straight to work on the clitoris or tongue fucking.

[PhilX]

You just need to relax, it is presented that if a girl is stressed she can't orgasm, it also works in the opposite way, if a girl is experiencing orgasm she can't feel stress. It is proved by science.

[PhilX]

Thanks for MHO :) have fun

[Anonymous]

Time to see a counselor/therapist or shrink.