I can't get a friends with benefits to fuck me more than a few times?

so every guy that i have had sex with after my last relationship won't fuck me more than a few times without going cold and then i start to barely hear from them and then they give me some excuse as to why we shouldn't continue this and that we are better as just friends. Its really hard on me, because they really really like me before we have sex then after they fuck me a few times, they start acting weird then pretty much stop talking to me. I dont think its a coincidence anymore. Could i be really bad in bed or have bad pussy? I know several girls that have kept a friends with benefits for months or possibly years. What could i be doing wrong? And no, I don't push for a relationship. I was fine with casual sex with these guys and they were the ones that stopped talking to me after a few times...

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Superb Opinion

  • my strong advice is you make some changes in your life, reexamine with the help of therapist/coach/mentors/people whom are successful and chart a new course in life. This one... sounds like you will end up on "the rocks". Have you seen ships that hit the rocks? Also, no alcohol or drugs until you get through it all and are successful.

    I'd go and seek out Jesus Christ as lord and savior... asap. your heart is on the line... and you are feeling the pain of rejection already in a hopeless endeavor. how does this get better continuing on the course you've set? I know what I said sucks... but it's the best truth I have for you. If you've got another, lets hear it.

    You are dealing with a highly polluted environment of humans, possibly the most corrupt pool of young males in history since the stone age. Asking us to sort out which piece of rotten fruit smells like what and why it's rotten... I'll consider it, but it's hard work. cmon...

    I know that isn't what you wanted, but I'm saying going "backwards" in your life, fixing some values/ethics/goals, and adjusting course will have bette chance of success than trying to please pathetic guys and convince them of your virtues. Some girls may be "wired" for your current style of life, all credits to them... without much heart and feelings... but you are not.

    Lots of approaches to adjusting life if your mind is open. There's more than one way.

    Wasn't it "Alice in wonderland" said something like... "which way ya wanna go", said the rabbit? Alice said, "jimmy cracks corn, I don't care". Rabbit said, then take any path...

    I'm saying time to be more thoughtful about what path you take now because the one you are on leads to a lot of pain. I'm saying... you have value, you are worthy of being loved and being a great lover, and there's nothing wrong with you. But you do have to learn, heal, evolve, and grow... like all of us have to. The time is now.

    I cannot save you. I can stick a hand into the water and help pull you out of the abyss, God does the healing, but you need to reach out and save yourself.

    You will be successful, with appropriate changes...

Most Helpful Guy

  • It could be that maybe you're attractive, but after they have sex with you they find that you're not as great in general as they may have first thought, which might not even have anything to do with you physically.

    Or it could be your energy or aura. Especially if all of them repeat the same trends as the others, it could be that after sleeping with you, these guys have felt enough of your aura or energy that either turns them cold or literally scares them away, as if something has shouted deep inside them to not go near you ever again.

    I've known some women like this in my real life, they're the types that are good looking and people talk about all the guys they could get, but after they sleep with them, the guys are totally done, but not as in done and moving on to the next fuckbuddy, but done like they never want to get near that woman again. Humans can sense energies in each other, even when they don't believe in it, their soul still feels when something is off in another person, and this really can have to do with why some people don't have much luck with things like you describe.

    • So was it the sex? Or i guess just maybe a personality issue? I've been nothing but nice to them but maybe I'm offputting and just don't know it...

    • That is what I'm saying, yes. I don't think it has anything to do with the sex at all. I think it's about whatever vibes they're getting from you that is turning them cold.

    • Hmm. I've been nothing but nice tho. I don't get it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'll be honest and say most guys agree to casual sex but then realize they want more, and so they end up putting their morals that they've suppressed for so long, first. They probably do like you, have sexual intercourse with you a few times and then realize they want more out of life that you may not be able to provide to them. If this is a constant thing, you may need to look for somebody who's a sex addict who's 100% down for casual hookups ONLY rather than men who catch feelings for you even a bit. If this is the lifestyle you're choosing, you'll have to find a person or people that definitely want the exact same.

    • They didn't catch feelings tho. They never once told. me they were catching feelings and I could feel them become less interested after sleeping with me a few times because they would start to ignore me, leave me on read, and even tell me that they think we should just be friends...

  • Do you think you are a bum fuck or something? Why a guy stops seeing you is anyone's guess. You really need to stop making conjectures and just ask him point blank. Then from there you can make any corrections that may be needed.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 14
  • It could just be that you're still carrying baggage from your last relationship still. I got into casual and was a fiend about it for a while. Some of it was because I couldn't hold on to partners for a couple months after my first marriage. I was just kind of going through the motions then and not giving my full attention to my partners, I don't blame them for not wanting to spend much time with me under those circumstances.
    I tried filling that up with more, but it took me working on myself. Obviously there's no way to know what's going on with you, because I don't know you. Still, if you have a pattern going on with everyone you meet, sometimes it's a good sign that the issue doesn't lie with everyone else, but maybe with something you're doing.
    It could be the guys you're going after, something you're doing, not doing, who knows. Take some time and analyze what every situation had in common, maybe it's something as simple as switching your perfume lol

  • Be creative. And they will come back.

  • sounds like they used you for the time being and moved on. you are worth more then that you know that right?

  • Could be anything from bad at sex to boring or u are picking guys with much lower sex drives or maybe u start to act clingy

  • i dont think your body parts is the problem, they might just be those one night stand hookup dudes, that only fuck once and leave to avoid any form of attachment, unless they agree to the friends with benefits and after sex they all disappear, if so then maybe something is up, some people can be petty, not trying to create any unsecurities here but it can be from as simple as the way your part looks, to how you moan, or how you feel, I'm sure there's many petty reasons that can turn someone off but if they all do this and you haven't mentioned friends with benefits then perhaps next time mention it, friends with benefits in general leads to nowhere tho so what can I say, my recommendation would be to just find someone worth your time in general, I know you don't wanna hear this but I'm just throwing it out there so I'm not just encouraging you to continue doing what you are doing without giving you the best path, I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to say.

    • What if we kinda agreed to be casual and he fucked me like 10 or 15 times over the course of a few weeks and then decided to leave? Does that mean the sex was bad?

    • Or he got bored, new pussy, secretive girlfriend, I'm sure there's several others I'm not aware of

    • They all came pretty quickly with me tho and they gave me lots of compliments about the sex. They all said I was some of the best sex they had. Guess those were lies?

    • Show All
  • Honestly, it probably is your technique.

    • Like bad at sex I guess?

    • Yup. The good news is that you don't need to do anything crazy to improve. Just participate more, be more communicative, develop the confidence to express your desires more. It's pretty simple stuff to do, if you take baby steps.

  • You need to focus on yourself before jumping into bed with every cock that comes along.

    I suggest maybe staying celibate for awhile. The more guys you have sex with the harder it is going to be finding someone to truly love you. Especially after it gets out that you just want casual sex. You're only going to attract guys that only have an interest in fucking you a few times then they will find someone new.

    You'll be much happier if you abstain from sex for a while. When you find a guy you want to be with don't jump into bed with him right away. Communicate with him get to know him. Build a relationship on each others interest not just sex

  • Without knowing you it's hard to say why they leave

  • This is just one of the adverse effects of hookup culture. If you can't deal with it, maybe try Christianity instead.

  • You seem to at least be able to go from one to the next. Be thankful because Im sure lots of girls would admire that alone. I would say I hope you live close to me because maybe I might stay.

  • Are you hot? Tight? Do you stink?

  • So move on and find someone else

  • One of two things. One, simply not that into you. Two, they are very into you but become intimidated if they feel you have had been "Ran" through by many men. In man's mind that probably means you have been with guys with much larger dicks, and men hate that. If you ever let on to a White, Hispanic, Native American, or Asian guy that you have been with black men... it is almost always an instant deal breaker.

    • They're very into me *before* they sleep with me but it's after they sleep with me that this becomes an issue. I guess the sex is bad? Or maybe I'm just not that hot? They all got it up very easily for me and never had issues staying hard or anything and they all came pretty quickly so I don't know what it is.

  • Hmm dunno maybe you do weird things in bed?

  • Sounds like its time to find a new lover.

  • they are finding better options than you. I can tell you something for sure... you don't matter to these guys whatsoever. In my opinion I would say you have a type, and that type doesn't want you.

    • What could be wrong with me?

    • I don't know. What kind of women are these men leaving you for?