I don’t even fucking know?

[shxllybxby]

alright, I’ll try to make this as short as I can 😬 my whole life is a fucking contradiction, a battle between myself, and I don’t really see the light at the end of the tunnel. lemme just give some main examples, I can be extremely passionate/motivated/on time, but I am also very lazy, like to sit on my ass all day, and flake on plans. I want to stay fit as fuck but I can’t stop eating, and food is slowly starting to control my life. I’m a nympho but I’m too shy to approach guys. On the inside, I’m a bad ass bitch who gives absolutely zero fucks what people think, but as soon as I step out the door I turn into this quiet little girl who’s afraid of judgement. I could list 100000 more of my life’s problems, but that’s not the point of this. I want to die but I’m too pussy to do the deed myself, so every day I hope that a miracle occurs and I get smushed by a bus.. so ummmmm any advice would be greatly appreciated 😅

[Lunatic1]

I have never been quite to this level, but we all have our contradictions in our personality. As for the depression and suicidal ideations, it takes months if not years of personal reprogramming and mental strengthening with the help of at least one or more trusted and close friends to move past it. Years ago, I got to a point where I had become completely numb to emotions and a shell of my former self. But through hard work and people close to me helping me out, I grew stronger and got better. Now, I am more than I have ever been and I have them to thank.

[Tstrbrainer]

I'm also kinda like you.
People think I'm an innocent nice guy because I don't approach women, but inside I am mostly horny and I'm too shy to ask anyone out.

I'm also too lazy to study, I'm putting more weight, etc.

I need to break out somehow

[Anonymous]

thats life, just get out of your own way, do what u need to do to build the life u want, its a battle, sounds like u might be in the process of figuring out who u are, you're young, dont die, give yourself a break, some time, love yourself and just stay for the ride, it will be bad an it will be good, as is for us all, stay around for the good.

[Bethany98]

Talk to your friends, family or a psychiatrist. There's nothing wrong with seeking help

[shxllybxby]

don’t have any, don’t have any, tried that

[pinudown]

Damn we are the same!
That's why I thought about isolating for about a year and reprogram myself, teach myself self control and self discipline and work as much as a human can to achive my goals

[pinudown]

I think you are trying to do something like this

https://images.app.goo.gl/Z93Pe1YwBJ9mLuhE7

[pinudown]

Your mind is habituated to be lazy and you might not have a proper plan to get things done, But you aim as high as you can. Step by step walk the thousand mile road. Start by changing your habits. Start by baby steps. It'll be not easy since your mind is used to be lazy. If you are suicidal please go get some help

[pinudown]

Since we share the same problems we can start now together. Ill guide you while I guide myself

[pinudown]

I don't kill myself because I believe in rebirth 😂 you get respawn with the same or worse stats so its pointless 😂

[chriscdi]

shit you are a fraud lady 😂

nah but foreal you just gotta give yourself that push, next time you feel like fucking yourself over just rethink and push to do it anyways, once you get up and start doing it, you passed the hard part

[shxllybxby]

yea yea yea but that’s what I’ve been doing for fucking 6 years now and it’s getting old 😒

[chriscdi]

well you can't expect to change it if you dont put in the effort now right missy? 🤷🏽‍♂️

[shxllybxby]

I literally found a dominant man on tinder when I was 16 and told him hey I’m shy can you just pick me up from school and take my virginity 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 oh yeah and while you’re at it my first kiss and my first blowjob?

[chriscdi]

shy my ass, that does not sound like something a shy person would say, that is an interesting yet of topic story lol

[Yourman89]

Lol damn..

[dempsey84]

There will be ups and downs, of course. These are normal during adolescence. You gotta let my life go Read books all the time. It helps you improve yourself and increases your self-confidence. What people don't care what you think You must love yourself.

[KyleAbe]

You've just described most of my life. would be happy to chat with you if you'd like. I felt everything you've said. But i would suggest you find some one to talk to. before your thought do take over.

[dvp724]

Hmu, I go through the same type of shit maybe we can help each other out

[andy530]

Sounds like you’re depressed. Have you talked to a therapist?

[Yourman89]

You deff sound depressed. You look and sound like you could be the bad bitch you want to be. Doing the deed is something you dont want to do. Trust me, I tried once. Follow me and we can chat.

[inquisitive173]

I've felt that way also. Busses are messy. You need to choose a path. As far as the nympho thing-your body, what I can see of it is perfect. My first thought on seeing you is that I'd do anything sexually that you wanted. You are physically the type of most men. If you die you won't get to see what happens next in life. No one wants death, only what pains them to stop.

[Anonymous]

You don't have family or friends to support you so what can you do to make life better for yourself?