Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I don't give bj's - is that a dealbreaker?

I don't give bj's. Never have. Never will.
I Don't expect oral in return of course, and have refused the gesture from earlier boyfriends.

The boyfriends I've had all say that they are okay with this in the beginning, thinking they can persuade me into it later. When they fail to do so, they sour and act as if I have done something wrong. I broke up with my last boyfriend due to him not respecting that this is something I'm unwilling to do.

Is this a dealbreaker for a lot of men out there? Why? isn't it enough that you get to be with a girl you care about?
Updates:
+1 y
We've had a breakthrough: Do you think that a girl who does not want to do bjs isn't attracted to you? Is this why its so sensitive if a girl says no to this specific sexual act?
+1 y
The main question I get is why i do not want to perform BJ's. The reason is simply that it does not turn me on/come off as romantic, nor do I find it morally right (someone pointed out this might be a reason, and to be on my knees is something im definitely against). Not trying to deprieve men from any kind of pleasure, just respecting and being true to my own sexuality. by the way, I'm Swedish, so if my Language is weird I apologise!
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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It is going to be a dealbreaker for a vast majority of men that you date. You are attractive so it's certainly psosible you find a guy (s) that are more than willing to look past that, but I believe it is going to be a dealbreaker for most, even if they say it isn't at first like you've experienced.

    • I see. I fear that it is for a lot of men, so I guess I have to be single for a while. Thanks for your reply.

    • No problem, you'll be able to find a guy that doesn't mind just be upfront early with guys about it as you have been. You're very pretty so it isn't impossible

    • Thanks, truly need the encouragement right now.

    • Show All

  • what's wrong with giving a bj? are you straight?

    • Yes. There is nothing wrong with giving bjs, i just dont, and wonder why it is so important to a lot of men that women do. I've never once felt that a sexual act has to be present in a relationship for it to work. If im in love thats kind of enough for me. Just trying to get my head around the opposite sex.

  • I never sucked a penis either.
    Thus I can understand it.

  • I'd be kind of disappointed but I definitely wouldn't break up with a girl I like because of that

    • You sound like a decent guy, nice to hear:-) Thanks for replying.

    • No problem and feel free to message me if you have any other questions

  • media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMrwf84pGnFRxTy/giphy.gif
    smh fam, that's so petty.

    Obviously whether or not it's a deal breaker depends on the individual.
    It might be a deal breaker for many men out there but that isn't a good enough reason for you to lower your standards.

    It's best if you find that one individual that will respect you, your principles and accept you for who you are.

    Why would you put your junk in your girls mouth in the first place? She finna kiss your kids with that mouth n shit... but that's just my opinion.

    • Wow, are you real? I had given up hope men like you existed 🙈 Thanks for your input.

    • https://i.imgur.com/jfRXokH.gif
      Diamonds aren't easily found, they're usually hidden deep in the earth and you can only find them if you look in the right place. If you know what I mean.

    • I see what you mean and couldnt agree more with you. Thanks for giving me some hope going into 2017 🙈

    • Show All

  • I get the feeling most girls not only do it but enjoy it so yes you'd be at a major disadvantage. It would only be a dealbreaker when they find someone exactly like you or better who does them.

    • I see. Hopefully I can find someone thats right for me one day though. Thanks for replying.

  • I would still want to give her oral a lot and have sex with her. I'm more on the submissive side in a relationship though, so I prefer to give oral more than receive it anyways, and I prefer her to be on top usually for sex too. I would be fine with that for long term as long as I get to be mostly submissive to her.

    • Thanks for the input. Nice to hear i'm compatible with some:-)

    • For your update, and not wanting to be on your knees, does it make you feel weak and helpless to the person? That is actually why I would want to give oral to a woman. It would make me feel more like she is in control and I am more helpless with her.

    • Possibly, I have never thought of it that way. I don't like the act in itself though, so have never considered it.

  • Honestly no I'm not into that to be honest but I understand why so many guys and girls like it though

    • i see. thanks for the reply.

    • Can I message you (I like making new friends)

    • Sure:-)

    • Show All

  • If that's so then I am your guy because I do not like oral sex either. I also do not like anal!

    • Nice to hear there are more of us:)

    • If I could find a girl with the same restricted sex acts, that would be a good start. It would be great if her sex drive was sky rocketed so I could have sex like 3 times a day :o

    • Dont know if I might misunderstand, but 3 times a day isn't that much?

    • Show All

  • Yeaa it's a deal breaker... I hope if you don't like giving oral then you don't expect receiving too

    • Read my post again and you will have your answer:-)

    • Ohhh lol yea good...

  • Not totally a deal breaker but it suggest lack of excitment and "kinky-ness" on bed. You may as well be a dead fish, I don't know.

    With that said, I prefer eating pussy than getting a blowjob so I probably could do for some time, but I'll probably be frustrated and bored eventualy.

    • eventually*

    • I understand that it is a sacrifice for a lot of men, so i try to compensate for it in other ways. Thanks for replying:-)

  • Never liked BJ's , never really been into them anyway & had crap attempts at them from ex's years back that totally put me off , so deal breaker for me ( I'm a single dad so singlehood = permanent in my case & used to it now ) When I used to be sexually active , was more than happy to give ladies oral.

    • NO dealbreaker for me... there needs to be an edit button !!

    • I see. Thanks for replying. Nice to hear it isn't a deal breaker. Beautiful girls you've got by the way :-)

  • if the deal is broken that is not what broke it.

  • total deal breaker... bye honey ✌

  • My girlfriend is the same way. Its not a deal breaker for me. It maybe for others

    • Good to hear. Thanks for your reply.

  • Nah I don't give a shit personally. There are sexier things to me than getting a bj

    • Thanks for your reply. Good to hear some can go without:-)

    • Maybe I'm one of the weirdos but bj's aren't important to me. They're nice don't get me wrong but if I never got it again I'd be ok. There are things I wouldn't go without though lol

    • Thats really nice to hear:-)

  • I hate to say it, but eventually your guy is going to be looking elsewhere after a prolonged amount of time without getting a bj. It doesn't mean that he doesn't think that you're not attracted to him, they just feel so good that his hormones can only last so long without getting one.

    • I see. Thanks for your input.

  • Yes it is.

  • Well no I dont give girls oral. I think it I was really in love But other than that I won't.

    Question though is it a respect thing or you just don't like it?

    • I find it "repulsive" (sorry for the strong language) to have someones genitals in my face and in my mouth. There is absolutely nothing about this that I find to be a good sexual experience. I have been told by boyfriends that i am a bit conservative in bed, as if there is something wrong with that. In 2016, soon to be 2017, we respect all kinds of expressions of sexuality; we can be gay, lesbian, bi... We can watch porn/not watch porn... What happened to respecting those who like to stick to The missionary position? My boyfriends have had no right become sour simple because im not willing to go down on them? We are all different

    • Sorry if this was a bit much:-)

    • lol I'm actually a lot like you. I don't know what it is about missionary that I find enough. Even doggystyle sometimes feels wrong

  • Not really. you're missing a lot though. Orals great. But i really thing it will come to you naturally. My girlfriend was like really strict about bjs. Now she can suck me threw a keyhole.

    • Thanks for sharing your experience.

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