I don’t view myself the way others do?

[Anonymous]

This is a serious question, I just don’t have anyone in real life to ask this to with out seeming so into myself. but Prior to everyone having to wear masks I would get complimented on my looks even without make up and not being dressed up basically every where I went. I started to be told my face looks “sexy” lol by all kinds of people. Women have been talking to me in a store and said I have so much sex appeal 😂
( literally just making convo about where they’re from and such) and men have called me that when I don’t think I look so great in normal conversation ( in public like a nice coffee shop) by the way I am not sexually active and to me, I think I look cute or adorable not hot/sexy/ model looking as much I am told. Does this differing view ever fade or will I always never know how others view me?

[TooDrunk4Sex]

the discrepancy tends to narrow a bit when you kind of accept yourself. like when you see a bad photo of u and stop grimacing. "yeah, thats me. i dont always look my best. whatev. people still dig me." something like that. and u stay socially active. u know like when you hear your voice in a recording for the first time? when i first heard mine, i was like who tf is that? i didn't think i sounded like that. then later i got used to it. it still sounds a bit different to me when i talk but i can predict how itll sound on the recording. and im okay with it. i accepted it. got used to it. u do that and its like you stop projecting an idea to the mirror. u see it more clearly. thats u. and u start to understand what others find appealing there. it might even be a different part then what you thought was the best part. the mirror kinda transforms the right way after a while

[TooDrunk4Sex]

that sort of projection of ideas i think is what makes it hard to see ourselves clearly even when the mirror reflection is staring right back at you. its never crystal clear in the way other people see it from the outside but its like we build up ideas surrounding that image in the mirror. ideas of how we want to look. ideas of how we think we look. ideas of how we looked when we were kids but changed and we still see some of that image as a kid. the aesthetic standard we somehow picked up along the way to criticize ourselves and see how were falling short. you drop all those ideas and you start seeing a more accurate reflection. and for me, its like, hey, not bad. for u, maybe its like wooooh sexy

[TooDrunk4Sex]

ugly duckling u know. like the duck thought himself ugly the whole time because he was looking at the mirror thinking he was some fucked up-looking duck or something when he was actually a swan. when the discrepancy is huge between how u see urself and how others see u, i think it is often like that. and i am not saying its like everyones a model who does that or some fluffy shit but just that maybe we aren't even evaluating ourselves according to the right standard. its not even the right species. of course well have no clue how we look to others if they are seeing a different species than what we think we are

[teamvic]

Just a matter of how you view yourself. And how others see you

For most people they look at themselves differently from the way other people do. And its usually in a bad way

I dont see the problem here though. They think you're attractive. You think you're cute. What's the problem

[Asker]

I don’t think it’s a problem it’s just I realized how completely off I have been about how I look. It was very new to me to think that I am considered sexy even though I am considered “prude” lol and I don’t dress proactively at all. How do some people have sex appeal and not really know they have it?

[teamvic]

Well if you got a body it'll show for the most part even if you just wearing jeans You dont necessarily have do be in a tight ass dress to be considered sexy haha Its kinda like if you got it then you got it simple as that 🤔

[Asker]

Hmm that’s good to know. Thank you!

[teamvic]

As far as not knowing Like I said people tend to think they're not good enough or can do something that others people see and think they can. We tend to underestimate ourselves In your case you don't think you we can be sexy but apparently you are you know what I mean

[Asker]

Yeah! I’ve heard that we are the last to ever know what we’re truly capable of doing ( in the general sense of what we can accomplish in life) and what we can be.

[teamvic]

Yup haha Welp, see yah

[Anonymous]

I definitely think I’m cute and adorable but never sexy or hot also... I don't know

[iseekpinetrees]

You just have to accept it. I was the same

[Iron_Man]

Stay away from those woman that talk to you like that they could be lesbians

[Asker]

😂😂😂

[Asker]

I think you’re on to something.😂

[Iron_Man]

No ma’am I’m not Listen to my advice

[Asker]

No lol I meant, I understand what you’re saying I am tracking with your response

[Iron_Man]

I was getting ready to throw in my 2 cents and write you off. Glad we worked it out. 😀

[Asker]

Hahaha!

[Iron_Man]

Lol 😂

[Twalli]

People don't se all the small imperfections you have. They aren't easy to notice. You do, because you don't see the larger picture. Your imperfections are more noticeable and obvious to you.