Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I don't want to hurt her when I take her virginity!?

Me and my girlfriend are both virgins we have been dating for a couple years and have decided that we want to have sex. I really love her and I don't want to hurt her at all! 1. What position would be the best for first time and not hurting her? 2. If I do hurt her what should I do? 3. What if she starts crying? 4. How can I take care of her afterwards? 5. How can I prevent it from hurting her I'm sorry for all the questions I just love her so much and I really don't want to hurt her
Updates:
+1 y
Thanks for everyone's answers! You guys were all really helpful!
3 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • Have you two talked about this?

    I think if you become -obsessive- about not hurting her at all, you might make the experience worse for her.

    Instead, try to maximize how good it is for her, while reducing pain. But accept there is likely to be some pain, but hopefully more pleasure, intimacy and passion.

    When you're aroused, you notice pain much less, so making her really into it is a great painkiller and more likely to give her a good memory then making it boring, clinical, like a medical procedure that hurt slightly less.

    I'm not saying 'just hurt her don't care' at ALL. But it doesn't sound like you need that warning.

    - Do you finger her now? If not, I'd start with that, for at least weeks if not more, till its enjoyable to her.
    - Lots of foreplay, teasing, get her so turned on, rub your hard penis on her clit and tease her opening, you want her BEGGING you to put it in.
    - If something you're doing is hurting her that you can change, change it. Go slow, enjoy the feeling, tell her how good she feels and kiss her. Gentle but passionate. Try not to fixate on the bad parts, focus on the good and help her focus on the good, but listen to anything she asks.
    - You do not HAVE to "have sex". It's not like she's giving you hj and bj, and the first day your penis goes in her, that's it, from now on its thrusting till orgasm. Your penis in her vagina is a new form of stimulation. You can do it a little, till she's had enough, then have her finish you some other way (and you her). Each time a little more.
    - Kiss her, comfort her, stay calm and gentle and caring. Don't make her feel like she's messed up by crying. She might be worrying about ruining it for you.
    - Lots of warmth and affection.
    - Maximize arousal, go gently, don't have a specific target for how long it lasts.

  • since you're new just go with whats comfortable and feels right for both of you when starting out, which will most likely be missionary. and start slow and read her face and body language. if she cries then stop and ask her about it and comfort her. cuddle afterwards and make her feel special. and nothing you can do to prevent it from hurting other than maybe using lube or just stopping if it hurts too much.

    • Thanks

Most Helpful Girls

  • Okay so let's get started. There will be some discomfort not matter what mainly because her body just isn't used to something that big. That pop the cherry thing is a lie a girl isn't supposed to have any blood her first time, that's just due to a lack of lubrication so spend a lot of time on foreplay and buy some lube, you may be coward with lie but it makes things a lot smoother. Go slow, too many guys just try to ram it in fast but that's not what girls want ever slow full strokes. If she can't take it all the first time respect that and just keep it where it is. She will probably get some pain. If she cries it's probably more emotional than anything, girls build up a whole stigma about losing their virginity and it can be very stressful so try to relax her calm her down and explain it will all be okay. Afterwards just hold her and cuddle in silence don't talk about it unless she wants to and just keep assuring her it she was great no matter what tell her it was great. So yeah that sounds pretty good

    • 'popping the cherry' is not a lie, it's called a hymen. Science.

    • yes I know what a hymen is, but science has proven that it doesn't have to break. that's a myth it comes from a lack of lubrication during your first time. it's a lie that it has to happen your first time. its a rumor created by men so that they don't have to pay attention to a woman's needs during sex

    • Lubrication has relatively little to do with whether the hymen is already broken, can stretch to accomodate, or tears.

  • I have to say, we need more guys like you in this world. That being said, just be gentle as possible. If it is too painful, she should say it I would think. If she doesn't want to keep going, just stop. Cuddle her. Kiss her forehead and wipe the hair out of her eyes, be gentle with your touches, be gentle with her wants and needs. Be selfless and she will return the favor. Let her take her time if she doesn't feel comfortable with some things.
    And most of all, don't PLAN it too much... it will take away the pleasure and heat of the moment. I'd say just wait until when it feels right and you get into the heat of the moment. Ask her if you can make love to her in that moment; it won't hurt as much then because trust me (she will be... errr..."wet" already, so it shouldn't hurt when you enter her). Good luck, sorry if the answer seems all over the place lol :)

  • Marry her first ;)

    That being said her first time is special and she may feel at a loss after even if she loves you. There's just something about losing it and she will probably feel more bonded to you.

    Have some drinks first.

    Go slow. Missionary is good because it feels intimate and she doesn't have to do the work. Go slow. Get lube. Ask her if she is comfortable the whole time. Kiss her. If she is in pain stop. Tell her you love her.

  • listen to whatever she says
    have a lot of lube
    be gentle
    don't force her if she she is still not feeling ready
    cuddle her if she cries

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 4

  • Please her orally first with your mouth so her vagina will secrete fluids through its walls much faster. It doesn't really matter what position you do, its more about how wet she is and how big your dick is. If you do not eat her pussy and don't make sure she's wet enough, she will feel pain when you insert the dick for the first time. If you eat her pussy for 10-20 mins before penetration, you will not hurt her. Believe me :)

  • www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1004807-how-painful-was-your-first-time-poll-included

    It helps if she makes some preliminary effort and gets used to masturbating (self-fingering) with two fingers.

  • Your gonna hurt her regardless especially since you don't have much experience yourself I mean unless your Christian Grey from fifty Shades good luck though.

  • " I really love her and I don't want to hurt her at all!"
    Then you should refrain from having sex with her as there is generally some degree of pain associated with it.
    Just take it slowly, be gentle and considerate all the while taking your cues from the lady.
    If she says, "Stop" or "Wait", then you stop or wait.
    The act of defloration may be uncomfortable for her but it shouldn't be like being tortured by Al-Qaeda.

  • hey mate you sound like a fking good boyfriend :) look after and let her tell you what to do. she is the boss in the bed room , good look mate :)

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