So we just made things official. I'm a size US 16 but my weight is not just in my stomach. I have DDD 36 boobs, a big butt, and thick legs and yeah I do have a tummy. But after I asked my boyfriend if I'm the biggest girl he's been with. He said yes.
I feel insecure because am I just a fetish he wants to fulfill or an experiment?
If he didn't like you because of your body, he's a bad guy. If he likes you because of your body, a bad guy. If he likes you in spite of your body, a bad guy.
Can you not see how insane this is? No matter what he or any other man does, they cannot win.
You are projecting your own insecurities onto this guy, and that is NOT FAIR OR REASONABLE. This is YOUR issue, YOUR damage, and YOU need to address it with some counselling/therapy, and not try to push it on someone else.
And your weight is within YOUR control (and I'm a fat guy saying this - I'm well aware that managing your weight isn't easy). What that means is that YOU have control over the root cause of this insecurity. Take some personal responsibility, and EITHER get the help you need, lose the weight, or just accept that guys who find you attractive might be finding you attractive because they're into bigger girls (or maybe just big tits, or big asses), and ACCEPT THAT and be thankful for it. Any of those are reasonable options, but putting your insecurities on the guy is NOT a reasonable option - it's a cop-out, and it will destroy any relationship you get into and ensure that you die alone.
Well, clearly it's not just a fetish, or you WOULDN'T be the biggest. So, is it just an "experiment"? Well, maybe- or maybe you have other attributes he values. Maybe you're attractive despite being heavier- or even BECAUSE you're heavier (Hollywood would have you believe that the most attractive female phenotype is that of a ten-year-old boy with large breasts; most men would disagree).
Ultimately, unless you're reading his mind, you CAN'T know why he's with you- but look to his actions. And note that's actionS; the "S" is very important. Don't place too much focus on one specific thing. Meanwhile, remember that he IS with you, which means he chose to be- if you absolutely MUST make him prove himself, then be sure you give him a chance to do so.
I know it's easy to feel insecure when you consider your bfs past relationships and how you compare but being his biggest doesn't necessarily mean he's out to fulfill a fetish. If he has a history of dating curvy/thick women then there's nothing wrong with that since it's his preference. You just so happen to be thicker than the last but you might also be funnier, cuter, a better cook, more agreeable, more giving, etc. I think you should ask him what he likes about you specifically outside of your looks to ease your mind.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Just because you’re the biggest girl he’s been with, doesn’t automatically mean you’re just a fetish to him lol
Women are exhausting.
”Waaah people don’t like me because of my size, skin color, or body dimensions! The pigs!”
and
”Waaah someone like’s me. Is it only because of my size, skin color, or body measurements? Stop fetishizing me! The pigs!”
🙄
Lose weight. If he's still with you then it wasn't a fetish.
He just answered the question. Just bc you're the biggest doesn't mean it's a fetish. A guy can be with only skinny girls but one is still the biggest.
Size 16. That's sexy to me. You sound very sexy.
Does it matter, does it feel like he just wants sex from you? Would it of made you feel any better that if he'd been with bigger girls?
Everyone has a type they go for, is it a big deal that he likes bigger girls.
Is it any different of girls wanting to be with guys with bigger muscles and abs or accents like French, Australian or English.
Aslong as he treats you right then that's all that matters
So feeling insecure about your size is a product of your society and peers that you are into. Having confidence on your as a person and as a woman is essential. No body can give you a positive body image unless you do it for yourself. It's your life, it is your body and it is finally your imarure man that you want for the rest of your life who can't seem to keep his eyes of smaller more conventionally slim women. That will remain an insecurity fir you till you are not confident about yourself and keep your self worth high.
What if he just likes bigger ladies and is finally secure enough in who he is to want to be with one?
As a guy who likes plus sized women I’ve always found it both interesting and unfair that when a guy likes big women it’s considered a “fetish” but when a guy likes big boobs or big butts or both its not a fetish and if not acceptable then at the least expect and shrugged off.
I mean think about it. If a guy has the same level of attraction/interest what have you in plus sized women as “normal” guys have in breasts and asses… why does guy A have a fetish and the others don’t.
Well first of all how long have you two been together? That’s a hard question to answer only because women want you to be honest w them but they want to be lied to in those situations. I wonder why you ask to begin w knowing you may get an answer you don’t like. From what you described you don’t sound so bad. I like a girl w a nice phat ass w some nice size tits. But that isn’t all there is to it. The personality has to be there as well unless you two got busy the first night.
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