I feel like I only care about men and sex and not my career?

I’m 20. I have not really had a father figure for 18 years until he came back into my life properly when I was 18. A lot of people say this is the reason.

I’m very attractive not in a vain way. I do get a lot of attention and I just really love it. I like the feeling of being promiscious and getting all the attention when I’m out. although it’s starting to take over my life. I’m On a uni course and I will go out the night before because I love how much attention I get which ruins my whole next day as I’ve drank. All I care about is males and that’s all I can focus on is men. Men men. And I don’t like this about myself. It’s causing a lot of drama in my life since I spoken to my friends ex and I’m just repeating it because I just love it. This sounds so bad. My body count is 12 and I know it’s gonna get higher. I don’t speak to a lot of boys surprisingly I just like the attention I get. I feel like I’m genuinely losing myself to this?

I just feel like I don’t even want a career, I don’t really wanna do anything I just don’t care. I just want to have a family with a man and a child and be happy. Is there something wrong with me? Honestly the only things I think about is sex and how I look and my figure and my hair. When a man abandonmens me also I don’t handle that well at all my life is over until I get over it. I’m actually clever it’s just I suffer with ADHD so I can never concentrate on my course.

sometimes I just feel like I was meant to be here just to please people and make someone feel good. That’s the only way I seem to get treated.
0 2

Superb Opinion

  • Ok there's a lot to unpack here. I'm not gonna hold any punches and shoot it to you straight.

    The best thing going for you right now is your youth. You're 20 years old, so you still have a lot of time and chances to make healthy changes.

    First, there is nothing wrong with a girl your age wanting a guy in your life and wanting a husband and family. Women has gotten married at a young age for thousands of years. It's only in the last 50 years that have changed. Despite a lot of what society today tell women that you have to focus on your career and work 40 hours a week. If what makes you happy is wanting a man and a family, your best chance of achieving that is in your early twenties.

    Yes that's right, your early twenties is you best chance of obtaining the best man you can get.

    I've seen so many women spend their entire twenties chasing after a career and then finally try to settle down when they are 30 and up. By that time, it's a little too late. Why? Because men don't care about your career or how much money you make. Most men just want a woman who's young, beautiful, and isn't a pain in the ass. As shallow as that might sound, that's just the reality.

    Sure you can still get a man when you hit your 30 but you're not going to get the same caliber of a man that you get in your early twenties when you're still young and beautiful. So that's the good news for you.

    Now the bad part, you've mentioned that your body count is 12, that's a little high for a girl your age. You have to stop the count. If you want to attract a high value man, the type of man who is confident, successful and have his shit together, he won't settle for anything less and having a high body count will become a problem for guys like these. Now if you're don't care to attract a high value man and just an average chump, he probably won't care because he'll just be happy that he got a beautiful girl but you might not be happy with him.

    Luckily for you, you still have a lot of options left. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to stop hooking up. Actually vet the guys you're going out on a date and only after he's proven that he's ideal man that you want to be with long term, then you proceed to intimacy and so on.

    You're still young, don't make the same mistake so many women today are making, sleeping with hundreds of guys in their twenties and waiting until their 30 to get married. By that time most men don't really want them anymore. I know that's harsh and hard pill to swallow but if I don't tell you the truth, you'll find out eventually through reality and then it'll be too late.

    • Everything here is correct. Read it again. And then again. You may not like hearing it, but it's the truth. At the age of 20, you have all the power and influence to attract great-quality men. You can use it to attract really handsome, exciting guys for casual sex (but they'll never give you a relationship, or if they do, they'll never be faithful), or you can use it to attract a high QUALITY guy, who may not be as handsome or exciting, but who will make an excellent husband and father. To use an analogy, being young and beautiful gives you similar power in the dating market as a person with a hundred million dollars in the bank would have in the housing market: you can get nearly any house you might want. But youth and low body counts don't last if you run around when you're young - as most young girls do. If you do what most girls do - spend their 20s "having fun" or focusing on their careers, and wait until after 30 to look for a relationship, you're going to find yourself in a VERY different position in the a market. It would be like wanting to buy a house, but only having $40,000 in the bank and only being able to get a $200,000 loan. It's not impossible to find a house for $240,000 today, but in most places in the US, that much certainly won't buy you much of a house, and you'll still be paying back the loan. Compare that to the houses you could have bought back when you were worth a hundred million. In the same way, your choices in men in your early 20s are VASTLY greater than your choices in your 30s. You still need to choose wisely - and choose the man based on his morals, values, lifegoals, and other long-term compatibility factors, and NOT just based on how you feel about him - but you can still choose from the best options available. Not so later in life.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You are allowed to want to get married and be a mum full time. There is NOTHING wrong with that, and a lot of things right for you, for the littles, and for your marriage. Traditional families make the wife more powerful than dual career families, change my mind. The universe isn’t going to crack at the seams and shatter if you don’t live up to the ideals of modern feminism. Traditional families are still a viable way of life, even if socially unpopular. Arguably the children fare better with a full time mum than an overworked career woman who believes the lies that she can have it all all at once. The state will step up and coerce men to provide tax funded subsidies and council programs if your future husband is unable to provide for you. Men have the choice between make money or go to jail, where you were blessed with the option to make money or make babies and still be able to participate in society.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you are an attractive woman who doesn't like to work too hard and likes a lot of attention..
    Try getting into some form of show business
    Getting attention will now become a part of your job
    Don't worry if you are not insanely attractive... as long as your are very confident... make up will fill up your flaws

    I don't know maybe sing dance model do photoshoots or something of that nature that will support you... maybe become a twitch streamer or a youtuber or a tik toker or a cosplayer or some other thing that requires you to stay in the public eye...

    Some people are just born to be entertainers and you can tell... You don't have to fit into a 9-5 job if its not what you like.

    • you could also become an instagram influencer XD... and you'll get sponsors who'll pay you money

    • It's not very difficult to find sponsors and affiliates if you google a little bit... if you are attractive... you could help a brand sell their product and make money along the way

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 20
  • Ask yourself these questions and come to a conclusion
    1. If you are married to a man who will take care of your needs, what is the chance that you will remain faithful to him? Your beauty will attract a lot of attention and the question is: will this increase your chances of being unfaithful?
    2. What will you do if you have children with the man you love and he dies, unable to take care of them?
    3. Your beauty will fade eventually as you age, after that, why will a man be with you? What can you offer him even after you lose your beauty?
    4. If all your financial needs were met (let's say you win a lottery), what will your life be like? What will be the most essential people in your life?

  • As another young 20-21 year old I can relate and all imma say is moderation is key. Don’t let guys take over your life

  • Just sounds like u enjoying being a attention qhore but meh its for h to do what u wish

  • Your problems stem mainly from alcohol. Give up the alcohol and you will start to get on track.

    • Yeah I think you are right as I only make these decisions when I’m under the influence of alcohol

  • Decide what matters most
    Sex or marriage
    If sex matters most there's definitely p***
    If marriage matters most then get a good husband

    If possible you could even start like one of those couples only fans because that's the thing that people do actually for money we're like couples literally f*** online and then show it to the world for money

  • Well, keep in mind that your looks will fade and then the guys will not chase after you anymore

  • Well you're already used so I don't see many decent guys who waited actually wanting a relationship. You've got two options. Turn away from promiscuity now and hope for a proper relationship. Or stay this way, end up poor, lonely and broke.

  • You need a strong handed Daddy Dom like me!

  • that a good way to fuck your way through life enjoy it while you can get it be happy first

  • Work on getting a husband when you are young, not just getting used.

    Career is overrated, especially for women. While most want to be mothers and wives. Most regret focusing on career too much later on.

    Women are on a pretty short clock in that regard.

  • I see nothing wrong with it. Sounds very intriguing to me. But a career is also good. So however you decide enjoy it and no regrets. Knock the bottom out of it for now and later get that career. Or just keep working that rear.

  • Was there a question there somewhere or are you just boasting?

    • I’m not boasting, what’s there to boast about? It’s not a good thing I’m this way. I just needed opinions on if this is normal because I don’t feel like it is

  • You don’t sound fulfilled if I’m honest.

  • Yikes

  • Career first, sex after, there is lot of age left for sex

  • Honestly I’d seek professional help. There’s way to many layers here for any person to peel away. I don’t think getting married and having children will make you happy. Not right now anyway. You’re looking for a man to make you 100% which isn’t going to happen. It may make you happy for a while, but eventually it’ll fall apart. Get some help, marriage and children this early could complicate things even more.

  • This ride you are on isn't going to last.

    If you dont get your education and career or at least a way of earning the money you need to live (sex work doesn't count because it won't last either) then you will not be able to be independent and will be reliant on trading out your cunt for the roof over your head, this is probably fine however if you choose the right guy and make a commitment to him and dont fuck it up.

    What you should not do is abandon your education, career, independence and diva your way like an immortal whore bag and then start whining about becoming a single parent or your options disappearing later in your life.

  • I think at 20, that's "normal", or certainly not uncommon. Do what makes you happy! Forget what "others" say/think (also your sex life isn't their business either). Everyone's going to have an opinion, but it's your life, not theirs. Live it how you want to live it.

  • Relationships aren't for everybody just have fun and do things that make you happy as long as you're not hurting anyone

  • That's a tough road to travel. Even if you get a husband, it's not gonna be enough. You don't crave A MAN, you crave attention from men. And probably envy from other women. The draw to get married and be supported is rooted in how easy it is compared to building a career of your own. But your desire for attention and lust will eventually ruin it, and you'll be on your own anyway.

    I really think you should visit a therapist and talk this through with them. And I don't mean that in a condescending way. They could open your eyes to where this pattern of behavior will lead you, and help you make better decisions for a better life