I feel like my ex was only one guy I could trust in bed?

I feel like it's really great place to talk about sex here. :)
So here we are:

So me and my ex started dating when we both were 19 years old, we both were virgin back then, so we lost virginity to each other, at first sex was horrible between us because my boyfriend suffered from premature ejaculation and anxiety but we both overcame it and sex got better and better, I had anxiety regarding sex too, so we always supported each other regarding it.
Finally sex got really good, we were physically really compatible. He was always very gentle and attentive in bed, he knew what I liked and disliked in bed, we used condoms but yet he always pulled out, so I could trust him completely in bed, I knew he would never cross my boundaries in bed (like not pulling out even if using condoms).
We broke up for other reasons of course.
And now I'm constantly overthinking things like other guy won't be that good and attentive in bed, like I won't be able to trust him in bed.
And sex is only one reason why I'm afraid to start dating again now. It gives me major anxiety everytime I think about having sex with other guy.
I'm 22 years old now by the way I feel like teenager having anxiety like this but how do I overcome this?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Yea i see the problem. Its cause your brain has been used to your ex through the times you both have experienced together. You'll feel bad if you start having sex with another guy, because like i said your brain is used to having fun with just him. People will tell you, why did you break up with him? But honestly he's your ex for a reason, so keep it that way. I promise theirs someone out there that can make you feel a lot more pleasurable than your ex. Make sure you have respect and self love for yourself first, before you go out there and find someone that match with your expectations

  • Are you really open to the answer. Give how restrained/up tight you are about sex, the old Texas saw comes to mind: if you can't stand the answer, don't ask the question. I have an answer but I want to make sure you really want it.

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  • Well if your ex was really the only guy that you could trust than why you did you broke up instead of getting married? and you first had an premature ejaculation, so what the worse that could happen? so your main concern is about condoms? anyway yea many guys would likely not see the point in both pulling out even while they wear an condom. Anyway you are not a virgin anymore, so it's odd if you afraid of having sex now more than you was afraid of having sex with your first.

    • I'm afraid other guy will be selfish in bed and won't car about my needs or what I like or not in bed

    • How could he be selfish? and how did you known if your ex would not be selfish?

  • You need someone who is very careful and sensitive about your fears. It is not common. But the good news is: you choose who you have sex with 😋 if you know what kind of boyfriend you want, you can just search for such guy.

    • But how do I know how that guy would be like in bed? That's what gives me anxiety

    • You can talk with him about it. Just like you do here 😊 of cause you won't know the first day you see someone. Whenever i dated a girl and it became more serious, i started to talk about sexual topics, to see if there is the right chemistry. Of cause its not good to say "my ex boyfriend did X and Y in bed" when you meet someone new 😂 but im sure you can just talk about it. You are hoing to see very fast what kind of guy he is

  • When you next meet someone, don’t think about sex, get to know him, get comfortable with him, and when the time comes, make sure there is lots and lots of foreplay. When you are both sexually aroused, the sex is gonna be great.

  • It will be like that again don't worry but you may find some dickheads on your way so be patient a d choose wisely

    • How would you suggest me to choose wisely?

    • Only you will know that. Dont have sex until your sure if a guy really likes you he will be prepared to wait

  • See a psychologist. Cognitive behavioural therapy, that'll help.

    • I don't see what does it have to do with psychologist but thanks anyways

    • A psychologist will help you overcome your anxiety.