I feel more attached to boyfriend after good sexual stuff?

Me and boyfriend had passionate time and I feel so clingy after and I hate feeling this way because I’m so independent. I feel so on his back after our recent passion. It’s always good between us but I feel attracted more. What do you think is up with me? I was constantly texting him last night making him tell me where he was.

2 1

Superb Opinion

  • This is literally the most normal and natural. Congratulations. It doesn’t get any better than this. Don’t self shame. You are feeling exactly as you should. I used to feel uneasy too. I understand it can trip you out because as independent or more head strong types, we rely on ourselves and don’t like to feel needy. It takes time to see and understand these feelings after sex for what they are. Perhaps if more people would let themselves feel this way after making love, more couples would take sex for something more special vs just a “fun” act to relieve an itch. More relationships would be more healthy if people would allow themselves to feel and connect with one another during sex. Sex is designed to ultimately connect a man and woman together on the deepest levels possible. Women especially feel bonded as recipients of not only receiving oxytocin (a biochemical) made in her own brain but she also receives it from him when he ejaculates semen in her vaginally. Semen contains oxytocin, pitocin, dopamine, serotonin and many other biochemicals specifically for her benefit. Those also give her a more powerful climax which then solidifies that deep bond.

    Being I’ve had some life experience and matured, I see and respect sex for what it truly is. I think its the most beautiful union imaginable. I no longer see these feelings of needing someone after sex as a weakness but rather as a strength and sanctification of love and selflessness toward a lover/spouse. Sex is sanctification and renewal.

    • I been hurt in the past and don’t want to put all my energy or emotions into him.

    • I’m sorry you’ve been hurt. Have you been hurt by him? If you’ve been hurt by him in the past, then why put yourself out on a silver platter for him to hurt you again? Sex is the most vulnerable act and way in which you give of yourself. If you don’t trust someone to not hurt you, then sex is not what you want or need. Whether it be by him or someone else, I’m sorry to have to tell you the reality but the true reality is that you will not be able to avoid feelings. You cannot have sex and magically avoid the consequences of the feelings that will definitely be involved each time. Depending on the integrity of the person you are with and the level of commitment will determine if the feelings are positive and based out of love, or if the feelings are such that you are let down and hurt again. There is no way around the consequence whether good or bad. The idea of being able to open yourself up as deeply as sex will allow and not having feelings afterward is akin to saying I want to swim without getting wet. We are hard wired to unavoidably have feelings associated with sex. If you don’t want to invest your feelings, then perhaps you should not be engaging in sexual activity with a person who has hurt you, or you shouldn’t be participating in sexual activity with someone else until he can earn your trust and you have some healing on your own part from your past. It’s not fair to either you or him.

    • Yes, thank you that is very true! I told him no sexual stuff until we are settled with each other. He tells me no baby I need you.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • That is normal. Sex is supposed to bond you to your lover.

    That is why sleeping around messes so many up and gives so much baggage. Your brain has tried to emotionally bond with so many people and had it ripped away because it was some meaningless hook up. It makes it where you cannot bond with a person you want to spend your life with.

    Back over the thousands of years of human history when sex was mainly in marriage they bonded strongly with each other.

    It is natural. You can fight acting too clingy but it is normal to feel a strong, intimate bond.

    • So what about the people that don't feel a strong intimate bond or are you suggesting that everyone would feel this way

Most Helpful Girls

  • Course sex binds you two both together and this is so true with my hubby!

    After it's snuggles all night and morning round 2!

    But talk with him about it and maybe try to be less omg where are you? Hope they won't scare him off!

    You have sex with someone you love and get strong feelings after! You so totally normal!

    The internet lies when it says have sex and you won't get feelings! Sex is designed to make you bonded!

  • It's how hormones are supposed to work. Hormonal birth control and multiple partners screws up our brains. I have recovered from it, thankfully in time and now have a family I love more than anything.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 13
  • So, for me as a man, I date all these women... and they talk about love and commitment. Look I am 47 years hold I have been with 15 different women in my time... I am not talking love until I know the chemistry works.

    So, Amen sister!!! Good for you!!!

  • Your in love. Enjoy the feeling and dont fight it. You might be acting clingy because you either don't want to be away from him or you are scared of losing him. But whatever the reason for the clinginess, the ultimate reason you are clingy is because you love him.

  • Clingy is good, stop fighting it, let the bond happen.

  • It’s totally normal

  • Its to do with a female hormone called oxytocin. Which is activated when having sex with a man and helps us develop a connection/bond…that’s why many women catch feelings before men in situations hips unfortunately 😬 lol

  • Why do you hate the feeling? It’s normal and the chemicals in your body are causing those thoughts

    • I would definitely hate it texting someone constantly who has shit to do and probably doesn't want to hear from me every 2 seconds also feeling like it's the end of the world if I'm not close to them all the time that would suck luckily I don't feel like that

  • Are you really in your 30s? It seems I am reading a high schooler, rather than a 30+ years woman, who I guess had sex before.

    • Now wait a minute here. She probably isn’t used to this because she probably has been with men who told her she’s clingy.

    • @Sasha0426 it could be. It's just unusual to read that question from someone who is 30+

    • That’s why you gotta stop and think on why she asks this question. Not a lot of people that age had the greatest experiences and they question everything.

    • Show All
  • You are supposed to feel that way, if you didn't there would be something wrong with you.

    • your answer is confusing to me where are you getting the you are "supposed" to feel this way and if you don't something is "wrong" with you

    • @RoosterJuniour56 okay, let's say someone gets drunk, runs over someone's kid, and then feels no remorse about it. Would you say something is wrong with that person?

  • That is what sex is supposed to be. It is for emotional bonding. You are just emotional unhealthy.

    • I’ve been hurt in the past and don’t want to feel strong about someone

    • There is no reward without risk

  • Your brain is doing its job. Those chemicals in your brain that are trigger during sex make you feel that way it’s suppose to happen

  • It’s normal to feel more attracted to someone after good sex. There’s nothing wrong with you

  • Thats natural.

  • Because you were lied to growing up that you can have tons of meaningless sex and it doesn’t effect you. Your reaction is perfectly normal.

    • Nah. You’re way off. Us females release a hormone called Oxytocin which helps us connect with the man after sex…that’s why many females find it hard to not catch feelings for men when sleeping with them. Whereas men can sleep with many women and not have feelings for them.

  • So you're a fucking psycho whore good to know

    • So you're a piece of shit

  • Same here girl same here.

  • That's perfectly normal. The bond between the two of you is growing.