I feel worthless, if I guy just want to have sex with me. Can you relate?

I like sexual attention. Everyone does, right?

This is crazy, the guys I been attracting don’t want a 1-night-stand but want to occasionally fuck, without being boyfriend. That’s means “being a boyfriend” though 😑 they just don’t want to assume any responsibility.

I know I deserve better than that, so if I have sex and don’t get nothing out of it (not selling my vagina simply being treated like a woman should ex:
girlfriend needs shopping, dating outside the bedroom, supporting feelings )

If I just fuck, then get nothing I feel worthless and used. 😟

What are your thoughts on this?
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • On one hand, I agree with you: if you want and need more than just occasional casual sex, then you should hold out for that, even if you have to give up some of that attention. What you are looking for IS achievable.

    On the other hand, you also need to realize that what you're wanting from guys - a relationship with all of that extra time, attention, money, expectations, etc., - is a lot to ask. Being a boyfriend - especially a GOOD boyfriend - is a big commitment, and requires a LOT of a guy's time, effort, work, and can be a hassle at times, and men quite rightfully aren't willing to trade all of that for JUST sex - the price is too high. You, as a woman, need to be able to provide more than just sex to the guy in return for all that you want from him, and mostly what guys want from women is respect, appreciation, and to be cared for to some extent. And women who do these things sincerely and well often have men who would do literally anything for her.

    Men don't care about your degree or your career or your bank account for the most part - as long as you don't come with a lot of debt, and can take care of yourself, that's all guys care about, but what guys want is a girl who will make parts of his life easier or more enjoyable. Can she cook him a meal? Can she make some social arrangements for the two of them? Can she provide him some emotional support as well as the physical/sexual support?

    The point is: you want VALUE from your relationships with men, and that's reasonable and understandable - but men ALSO want value from their relationships with women, and most women don't really consider or think about what men value, and make little effort to provide it - and then wonder why they only attract sexual interest from men. It would be like a burger joint wondering why they are only selling salads and no burgers during a big vegan convention: they simply aren't offering anything else that their market wants to buy. Right now, among the men you are encountering, you aren't offering THEM anything they're interested in except sex, and they're not offering you what you want from them either, because they don't see the value in doing so. You need to increase your value to them, and once you do, they'll be far more likely to recognize that value and increase what they're wiling to offer in return.

    • I love this that you wrote. Thank you. I feel so valuable already and somehow whoever I attract doesn’t see it. I don’t want to go on and on about “how perfect “ I am here, but I guess all I need to do is wait. ✌🏾 #being_patient

    • You may be valuable in ways that guys have trouble appreciating, especially early on - I'm not disputing that at all and it's certainly possible. But you have to have traits that you "put in the window" to attract potential shoppers that those shoppers want and care about. To go back to my analogy, the burger place may make amazing burgers and the best BLT sandwiches in the state, but if a vegan convention is in town, they're still not going to sell burgers and BLTs, because that's not what that market wants. Likewise, you may have a long list of things that YOU find valuable for a relationship - and it's even possible that a man would come to value many or even most of those things over time too - but if you don't have any values that are near the top of a man's priority list, they're going to pass you over and not stick around long enough to find out about those other traits. Women have no problem demanding traits from men, and being crystal clear that if he doesn't match those traits, then she's not interested. Well, it's the same for guys, except guys have their own list of priorities that is VERY different from women's - and they want their priorities satisfied too. And just as I tell men all the time: you need to make some changes to gain or show off some of those qualities that (wo) men are looking for if you want to attract them, and it makes no difference if they seem like low-priority things to you - all that matters is that they are high priorities for the "buyers" you are hoping to attract.

    • Thank you, it definitely makes sense. Now I need to know ‘what they value’ huh? ✌🏾

    • Show All
  • Well friends with benefits exist but then if you want something more than sex then find yourself a boyfriend? Or a friend who wants to be friends with you and sex just without the role of boyfriend. Either way your life you can choose who you want sex with and what you want. So just think about what you want before doing something you may feel shit about. If you want a relationship you will get it just takes time. if you just want sex well that's easy to find. If you want friends with benefits that's a bit harder depending if you want them to treat you as an actual friend or just a person to fuck i would always treat her as friend unless she asked otherwise.

    • Thank you. I will protect myself and not let things go far. I met someone recently who wants the sex but no commitment. I literally blocked all roads to would lead to sexual activity - I’m proud of myself - Yes in the past I was confident I would be able to resist the sexual energy 😩😩 and end up actually having sex. This time there’s no way I’m falling in that trap. He was like - let’s shower together, let’s cuddle, come sleep over - 😂😂😂 I said NO ! And yea perhaps I should just block him and called it the day right? But I don’t want to do that, he’s like “your my type, I have a crush on you, bla bla bla “ Which I appreciate but I don’t have to do anything based on that. It’s hard to be affiliated with someone who wants you sexually but I guess I need to learn how to be in that situation without giving in 😅 Not like “ I can resist anybody” it really depends on the person...

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sex is supposed to be an intimate expression of love between two people. If you're being used by guys that are only interested in getting their dicks wet. It is because they are perverting the role sex is supposed to play in a relationship.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 11
  • I think sexual attention is fine along as you want it. The minute it becomes uncomfortable, you should definitely avoid the guy l
    Girls that are fine having mostly sexual attention usually tend to have high confidence, like they enjoy life without being affraid of feeling "better than that"
    Because like, they know they are better than that but they still enjoy this whenever they feel like it
    And if they don't, they just won't care
    At least that's what I've noticed

  • I don't do casual sex. It's something that I believe is too intimate for all parties involved to not catch feelings. I can see why it may leave one with feeling worthless.

  • I totally agree with your thinking of a meaningful relationship, the guy you mentioned in your questions like they are looking for friends with benefits

  • Yeah

  • So keep your clothes on

  • me too ! I need more than just sex... it scares me , I worry if she has STD

  • Nope, I dont do guys. But, If she wants to steal my sperms... take em, plenty more where that came from... giddidy giggidy!!

  • Wher do u find such guys

  • There’s someone out there who’s right for u. Hang out with the guys you’d like to be bf-gf with, or where you might be able to meet them.

  • Grammar off, can't understand this.

  • You’re right