I found my ldr boyfriend porn of girls with big boobs and im flat, should I be worried?

[cornflake11]

We have been together for 2.5 years and we see each other every 6 months because we talk very often. the last time i went to see him he gave me the password to everything he had, because i used it to get into his laptop. The thing is that a few days ago i tried to enter to some of his accounts ( he knows i did that and its very wrong, but im very insecure and i think he doesn't tell me all thetruth) and i found out he was watching porn of girls with big boobs and that look nothing like me. I don't know but somehow i expect my boyfriend to watch porn of girls similar to me (at the end he chose me and i guess im his type) my chest is almost flat, so that made me very insecure. i know we live far but i send him videos of me so he can also watch but he watches porn because he likes diversity... I don't know if im over exaggerating or what, but i have a hard time trusting him and it hurt me to find out he is watching that. all he does is tell me how much he loves me and that im perfect for him and he doesn't mind that i dont have boobs because he is in love with me but I don't know if i should trust him and it hurts me a lot. by the way he says he will keep watching porn because everyone does.

[Anonymous]

This is not a relationship, it's egoic based possession and control. You want to control what he watches, how he feels, what he does and you do not trust him, and you do not know yourself. Why are you spending time in a relationship that has no basis of truth or depth?

You should be working on yourself, getting to know your inner self and learning to truly appreciate yourself. Instead you are wasting time worrying about porn and comparing yourself to big busted actresses. All of this serves to distract you from working on what really needs to be worked on, and in time it will only become much worse.

As is often the case, many of us make the mistake of expending energy on something instead of facing our true selves. This so called relationship will bring you nothing but pain, and it will bring him wasted emotion, time and frustration. It cannot, and will not work, and neither will the ones you have later on until you stop using them to ignore what needs to be worked on, yourself.

[cornflake11]

I really appreciate this comment, i agree with you. I know im hurting him and im hurting myself, some weeks ago i started going to the psychologist because i know im not ok and my boyfriend always tell me. i dont do it to be evil or anything, its just that i dont know better and i know it isn't healthy, my parents have been abusive to me and i just dont know any better. i love him really and ill try to make it work but i agree and thanks for taking the time to say the truth

[winterfox10]

Don't be worried about the size of your chest. You should be worried about the fact that he found out that you invaded his privacy.

[cornflake11]

Yes i know im a bad girlfriend and im working on it, its just that i dont realize what i do right and wrong and things like this affect me a lot because of my insecurities, after all this time i really dont know why he is still with me

[winterfox10]

Every time you have doubts like that, you increase the chances that he is going to start wondering why he is with you too. As for realizing when you do the right and wrong things; it's not that hard. Jus ask yourself a simple question whenever you are about to do something: "how would I feel if they did what I am about to do to me?"

[cornflake11]

Yes i will do that, after all this time i questioned his love because somehow i couldnt believe it and now i get him that if he is with me after all i did he must love me, also i feel so guilty because some days ago he booked the flight to come to see me, im really ashamed of how i behave but i get so emotional I don't know, its the worst

[Fiona_equalpayplease]

@cornflake11 don’t let these guys shame you for what you feel. This world send messages to woman from the time we can walk that we have to be skinny, perfect, huge boobs, etc in order to be considered enough. So many messages shoved down our throats every single day from tv, commercials, movies, media, music and on and on and on about what we are supposed to look like to be lovable. Of course we never add up or feel secure,. Porn is catered to men in every way. Never about real women or female pleasure - we raised narcissistic, unaware, brainwashed men who haven’t a clue what women want, like or feel. You have every right to feel bad that the person you love ‘s porn choices are making you feel less than. Just remember - you are enough.

[Anonymous]

Your far apart from him. What else is he going to do. All you can do differently is cam more and do it on there between you two. And yeah it’s only fair he changed his passwords

[Exarion251]

You're lucky with that guy. If you had done the same thing to me, you would be alone by now. If you're insecure work on your insecurities, if you don't there might be some doubt again that grows into paranoia and makes your partner suffer.

[Goldenscar]

No you shouldn't, he can very much like all sort of tits and still love yours

[RawIronhide]

Your post is to long I'm not reading it. Guys search all kinds of stuff. Don't make it so complicated.

[Darkener]

He might be like me where I alternate in what I like. Guys can like big and small boobs so I'd say don't worry about it but next time ask before you get into his personal stuff

[Ismash9116]

"He says he will keep watching porn because everyone does" that's one retarded boyfriend.

[XanBand]

You need counseling

[Nalyr_]

When guys look at porn they lust for the perfect woman. Those girls aren't even real. Most of them have fake implants and you shouldn't worry about being them or about it. He must love you for you and who you are.