I gave my boyfriend a handjob. And he went soft?

[Anon17]

So I was making out with my boyfriend the other day. And I decided to take it to the next level. I am a first timer. So I didn't exactly know what I was doing. And it was all good. And then suddenly he went soft... He got upset about it. And so did I. He felt really embarrassed. But we both came to a decision that it was because I was going slower than he usually does. Is it normal? We're going to try again on Tuesday. But I'm really nervous. What if it happens again? I feel like such a failure that I couldn't get him off even though he said it's not my fault.

[godfatherfan]

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. please re-read that.
It is a strange thing to have happen at his age since usually hormones beat out everything but if he is inexperienced he was probably really nervous also. if his mind started freaking out and he started thinking about "what if she thinks I have a tiny cock", or maybe he thought it would progress to intercourse and was super nervous about that. Thinking about random and non-sexy type things are what guys do to try to keep from coming too fast. we try and distract our minds as much as possible. his mind probably took over and he couldn't stay focused. but it truly has nothing to do with you. try it again with no pressure and I am sure it will be fine.

[Anon17]

I guess it's just a hit to me ego. That I couldn't get him to stay hard... It really made me worry.

[godfatherfan]

I just read your update. Glad it went well for you. it is good he is happy but more importantly I hope YOU enjoyed it. Hopefully he will reciprocate for you.

[Anon17]

He wanted to today too. I still started a little slow off the bat. But we decided we were going to be open and he up front told me what I needed to do. And he wanted to help me out. But I can't exactly do that right now. Haha. Your advice helped. And we both feel so much better now that he finished. And he told me that he doesn't feel so upset anymore. But really, thanks for the advise. Yours helped a lot!

[godfatherfan]

I am sure he is going to want to do it as many times as your willing. make it a game and see how many times in one day it will work before he doesn't want to any more... have fun

[Anon17]

Id so play that game. But I don't think we'd ever get alone time long enough to do that. I do have a question though. How long do guys usually last when they're like just starting out?

[godfatherfan]

honestly, it all depends on how "revved up" he is. it could be literally as little as 15 seconds and goes up from there. the more you do it and more often you do it the longer he will last. A big thing is that you are doing it for him. The fact that a girl is touching you will get you wound up 1000x more so your a big part in how quick... at least the first time or two. Guys get better at controlling it as they get older and hormones slow down.

[Anon17]

Is fifteen almost twenty minutes normal? He seemed like he controlled it well, I guess.

[godfatherfan]

that is defiantly normal. 10 - 15 would be normal. Unless he has been masturbating a lot lately. the more often you do it the longer the next time takes unless you lay off it for a while. You can control it to some degree as well by going slower or faster. if you want him to last longer squeeze the head between your thumb and finger really hard for about 15 seconds. sometimes that works. But I don't think your looking for a hand job to go longer then it needs to. did it do anything for you at all? I don't know about your past experience.. knowing you made him come? having it in your hand while he ejaculated? watching it happen? I don't know if that does anything for women or if it is just "finish already so we can watch tv kind of thing".

[Anon17]

Well I couldn't exactly watch it happen. He kind of had my lip trapped between his teeth. But it did do something for me. It definitely was not one of those "just finish already" times. I think it's because I did it because I wanted to. Not because he was asking me to.

[godfatherfan]

Well I am sure he more then happy with what your giving him. If you want to know what he is thinking I guarantee it is fantasizing about you giving him a blow job.. A lot more often then fantasy about intercourse with you. anyway.. have fun

[TheOneTurv]

Dont worry about it, asking for advice on how he likes it. Its not your fault, sometime out dick go soft when we dont want them too. I dont even our dicks are weird

[Troian]

You probably did nothing wrong. When you begin a hand job, you often begin really slow.. going to fast at first could hurt him. He was probably just nervous.
If you really want to know if you did something wrong, just ask him. When you have no experience, communication helps a lot to know what the other person likes. Don't take it as a failure, we all had to learn ;)

[GoldCobra]

Tell him not to jerk off so much so his sex drive will be high. Also tell him to eat plenty of celery

[Anon17]

He doesn't jerk off very often. The last time he did was over two weeks before is tried.

[godfatherfan]

Celery? are you trying to punish him? at his age diet has nothing to do with it. and he should be able to jerk off 10 times a day and not have it be an issue. I doubt that had anything to do with it.

[godfatherfan]

sorry, he is not telling you how much he jerks off. at that age your doing usually doing it at least once a day...

[Anon17]

He's only fifteen. And he's not really that type of person. He says he doesn't feel the need to... Does that mean something's wrong?

[GoldCobra]

When I was fifteen I jerked off everyday. Like everyone else. You know what it is? He's just young and inexperienced. Give him time. He needs practice. He's gotta find something that turns him hard and makes sure he stay hard. For me, it's making out, otherwise I'll go soft

[Anonymous]

Practice makes perfect. Since it was your first time, it probably wasn't that great, but communication will help.

[Anonymous]

He probably doesn't find you very attractive, or you were not doing it right.