Sexual Relationships
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I give half assed blow jobs 80% of the time because I don't like doing it when I'm obligated?

So my boyfriend always wants a blow job as foreplay and most of the time it feels like a chore and I'm not into it. But we hadn't had sex in a long time, about a week and I was dying to give him head so I did, and I actually put effort into it. Today he was like "Okay, so I got a question; why did you give me head like that last night? You never do that." I jugs told him it was because it was on my terms and I ACTUALLY wanted to do it. He didn't seem to mind and was all smiley and said he should stop asking me every day so it happens more often. But now I'm curious; is that fucked up of me or are other girls like that too? Like it's a turn off if I'm only doing it because he's asking me to, and because he just expects it before sex?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Its pretty normal, and I don't think you should feel BAD about how you feel.

    You might want to ask if the way you're feeling is getting in the way of your sex life. You BOTH enjoyed it more. It's great when you just WANT to do something he wants, but what about the rest of the time?

    Up to you to think about. I'd suggest there's a difference between him asking you to, and him 'just expecting' it. Those are not the same thing.

    I can't empathize that much when it comes to sex, but I've sort of dealt with this in other things in life. I went through a stretch where I was focused on how going to work sucked and how i'd rather be at home. Part of it was because my wife was acting like I had it easy going to work vs. her staying home, which is her choice, nobody is TELLING her not to work outside the home. And you know, nobody is asking me if I'd like to stay home with my kids and live a similar financial lifestyle - its not an option. So I was always dwelling on that because I felt unappreciated. Anyway, at some point I stopped letting myself think that way. Sure I'd be happy to be retired, but I like what I do, like my coworkers and I'm good at it. How you think about what you're doing, whether you're thinking 'oh, now I -have- to do this' vs thinking 'this is hot, he loves it (in your case, not so much me going to work), can really change how YOU experience it.

    I don't think you should feel obligated to do anything specific at any specific time (though you ARE obligated to work on having an overall good sex life with someone you want a monogamous relationship with). But if you're going to do something, try not to go through the motions, get into it, have fun, and bring your mind, not just your body. They'll enjoy it more, but so will you.

    • It's the way he asks, and how he asks and then sprawls out and looks at the ceiling just assuming I'm going to do it because he brought it up. And he does NOT eat me out every time we have sex nor do I ask him because I know how annoying it is when he does it, so it's pretty unfair.

    • Would you like him to eat you out every time? How would you prefer he behave during a bj?

    • No, I don't want him to. I like variety not repetitiveness. Another reason it annoys me. If he could just not nag me and actually make sure I'm ready for sex before I even consider giving him a bj, and if he NEEDS a blow job and I haven't given one yet if he could actually ask not ask & just assume it's a yes and that I'm going to do it, that would be great

  • I'd rather be on the receiving end of a bj if I knew the girl wanted to do it and was into it. I wouldn't want her to feel like it was a chore.

    • thanks very much for MH !!!

    • Noo problem

Most Helpful Girls

  • Nah. You shouldn't be made to feel obligated. If you don't wanna give head all the time you shouldn't have to! But, I kinda feel obligated to eat girls out sometimes, idk. I actually like doing it a lot & wanna do it a lot! But yeah, like you - I wanna do it on my terms, I guess. But I feel like I have to do it... even when I don't wanna? yeah.

    But, boys are way more insensitive than girls, so thats like x100 for you :P but yeh I get where you're coming from. It's not fucked up of you. You're not obligated to do *anything*, or you shouldn't be is all

  • I dont need to be asked, to be it is a part of foreplay

    • Exactly. I don't feel like I need oral every time? Why does he?

    • Because he enjoys it. Do you think it is chore or are you bring stubborn, because he ask?

    • A little of both. I know he likes it but I don't like doing it every time. & it's super irritating when he asks.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 7

  • A lot of gals don't do it when asked
    A few (like you) do it poorly just to get past it
    Agreed - the best BJs come from enthusiastic students of this art

    Turn off? To have your mouth around our di*k? Nooooo way

  • Our society looks down on cocksuckers at a stupid ignorant casual level as if it's something shameful instead of something awesome. Because of that, a guy asking someone to go down on him is loaded up with a bunch of negative shit it shouldnt' have. It should be as positive as when a girl tells us she wants us to lick her down there. It's a huge turn on.

    Anyway, the quality of any sex is probably 90% about how into it both people are. If you're not into blowing him, don't. If you are, he's going to go nuts.

  • Guys like to have oral almost all the time in a way it feels even better than sex itself that's why.

  • Don't force yourself to do it, it's so much hotter when a girl wants to do it with out having to be asked. Even better when she goes all out.

  • I wouldn't make you do it if you didn't want to. I prefer giving you oral than you giving it to me. I'd rather make you cum first, & then I'll cum. But I'm not saying if you had the urge to do it and wanted to do it, then I'd let you, but I was just saying I'm one of few guys that wouldn't get mad at you because you didn't want to do it.

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