Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I go soft whenever I penetrate?

I'm hard during foreplay but as soon as it comes to actual sex right when I insert and start thrusting I lose it, what can i do about this?
0 1

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • Take some Xanax, if it isn't failure to get hard or maintain it, but specifically when you push in, you've got a feedback loop.

    So something happened the first time or 2 this happened to make you go limp, might be you, might be your partner, let's say both. Anyway, whatever that something was, you lost that wood, and couldn't achieve penetration. It happens again, now you have two issues you're dealing with. Whatever the original one was, and an added performance anxiety that you're going to "fuck up" like you did last time.

    You could take viagra, but that's dangerous when you're young, and honestly with the angry throbbing erection it gives can be unpleasant for you and your partner. You need to keep pumping until you can get that erection to go down when you're on it or risk permanent damage to your penis.

    Take an anti-anxiety medicine, and a shrink will probably legit prescribe you some, close your eyes, and let her take the reins, don't worry about if it's a mouth, vagina, whatever, just allow yourself to fall in, enjoy, and erase that previous anxiety.

    Does that make sense at all?

    • Tried that xanax knocked me out and I got tired too easy

    • 1/2 or 1/4 then, might help to talk to someone impartial too, figure out what's making you so anxious. I mean, I'd imagine by this point the performance anxiety is a big part, but something had to be the impetus to set that off in the beginning, yeah?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Just say, 'you are not alone. Those guys with the 'raging hard-on" are few and far between, although that may be a bit of an overstatement. I, and many guys like you and I are in the same boat. It takes a lot of being 'self assured" and not having any feelings of 'doubt, when you are between a woman's legs with an erect penis. Tell her you are a bit nervous, and you might need a little help. She should know and will take your penis and rub it up and down her slit, to keep you hard enough to go in. After you are in, start to move in and out slowly and you will quickly become still enough to continue.
    Don't agonize over it. Relax

Most Helpful Girls

  • What if she takes the reigns? Try having her blindfold you, draw out the foreplay and have her ride you. I think this is just a hump, so to speak, you need to get over.

    • She took control one time and it lasted longer but still

    • Blindfolded?

    • Not blindfolded but it was dark

    • Show All

  • I think you have mental block, or sort of anxiety. This could also caused by you masturbating a lot.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 16

  • Do you have performance anxiety?

    • I dont feel like I do

    • Is the problem consistent?

    • Yes it is

    • Show All

  • Get a physical exam, to make sure there is no physical problem that keeps you from maintaining an erection. More than likely, the issue is something blocking you mentally. The fastest and surest way may be to get some counseling.

  • I'm wondering if a repressed memory from childhood might be at work here. Do you believe in hypnotherapy?

  • You might be putting too much pressure on yourself. If you can jerk yourself off then you should be able to do this. If not then you might have a problem.

  • Viagra

  • As you masturbating often before having sex? If you are, cut it out. Like if you know you are having sex tomorrow, do not get yourself off before then.

    What is likely happening aside from performance anxiety is your penis has gotten a bit comfy to your hands as the vagina, two bad factors. Eliminate the easiest one, making sex more desirable since you hadn't gotten off for awhile will work.

    • I was but I didn't this entire week before

  • 1. Stop masturbating.
    2. Have a drink beforehand f you're nervous.

  • Yea bro the vagina is a scary place the penis can lose erection very easy. I go soft too even if I desperately want to please and fuck the girl with a hard dick. It’s definitely a mental game thats why i like to eat puss its the only edge I got

  • Sounds like anxiety, but talk with your doctor about this.

  • Performance anxiety? You ever seen urologist about it?

  • That is not a bad thing. Just make sure you are in tune with her needs as well.

  • Are you nervous? Umhmm?

  • talk to Dr about performance anxiety

  • Are you new to having sex or were you on a long dry spell prior to this?

    • Long dry spell

    • My guess is you lost your virginity in your teens, how long was your dry spell?

    • I was 24 im 27 now

    • Show All

  • Could be performance anxiety, or death grip syndrome

    • Now I'm curious, death grip syndrome?

    • @razelove Basically it's when you masturbate and your penis becomes desensitized.

    • Ok, that makes sense, same thing sometimes happens to women who use vibrators a lot. Only not with hardness obviously, getting off though. I'd guess the solution is the same in both cases, reduce frequency while replacing with sex.

  • I'm not sure why that is but I have that same problem

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