I had sex in every date?

Hey,
So I have been dating with a guy, we went on 3 dates. and in each of these 3 dates, we met in a café, we had tea, hot chocolate and stuff; we talked. After that I always invited him to my house, we chatted there too and we had sex; then he spent the night. Like is it weird to have sex in every date? I like doing it personally cause I enjoy it in general, I like sex. But am I givibg him a wrong message? After the sex too he seems interested in message, he asks me questions and stuff so I don't know what to do? Shall I continue like this; or I should start not having sex in all of the dates.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Honestly, I am not sure I understand the question. If you like each other and enjoy each other's company, then there is nothing wrong with having sex with each other as much and as often as you like. There is an attraction, biology gave you an instinct to mate and you are simply responding to the instinct.

    He seems, based on what you wrote, to be attracted to you, so all the better. Even if it is just for sex, as long as you are both enjoying it there would seem to be little problem. As my girlfriend rather bluntly put it, sometimes she just wants a man - me in this case - to mount her and put my seed in her.

    The complication, of course, is that we are more than just instinctive animals. So feelings become involved. If you think he cares about you and you don't feel the same way about him, that does not necessarily oblige you to stop having sex with him. It DOES, however, oblige you to be clear to him about how you feel.

    That won't be easy, but clear and specific communication is essential. This can get a bit dicier because men do tend, ironically, to conflate sex and love in a way that women do not. Women tend to - again, this is not always true, but generally - assume that there is love (or at least affection) before they will have sex. Men tend to assume that if the woman is having sex with him that she loves him.

    So, again, there is a line you do not want to cross just so that you do not hurt him. So if you do not like/love him, be sure to say so. He may be fine with that and will continue to have sex with you. The funny part about sex for men is that evolution programmed us to want sex with as many females as possible.

    That may seem like a contradiction with the male equivalence of sex and love, but it is not. In evolutionary terms, you are looking for the healthy male with healthy sperm to make healthy babies who will then find food for mom and baby and who will ward off rival males and predators. At an instinctive level, then, he assumes - and this is unconscious, of course, - you picked him. Hence, the assumption, o a higher non-instinctive intellectual level, that you love him.

    So long answer to short question. There is nothing wrong with having sex for him just for the sheer physical pleasure it gives you both. Of course, you should be prepared for unplanned pregnancies, but beyond that the one obligation you absolutely have is to make clear the basis of your relationship.

    At the pure instinctive level, he wants sex. However, he is more than just the sum of his instincts. He is a human being with feelings and he deserves to be treated as such. Just as you would want to be if the shoe was on the other foot.

  • A lot of people (especially women) are going to tell you not to do this, that a guy won't take you seriously etc, but it really depends on the person. I see nothing wrong with this if you are comfortable enough with the person (it's a great ice breaker also! lol), and my thoughts/feelings/respect towards her don't change at all (negatively). If anything, I want her more! As far as "relationship material" or if I want one with her or not, sex right away isn't going to change that, I do or I don't going in. But that's me and some guys will think differently. If you are comfortable with it, nothing wrong with it I say and that's all that's important. Don't over think it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • You have already established a pattern and it sounds like it is working so far with this guy. I wouldn't say doing that this would be safe with every guy you meet.

    There is the assumption that women who wait don't have a much of a sex drive as those who don't. It isn't true it is just that we like to know a man better and we have a whole lot more fear of the what ifs of having sex with strangers. If I slept with every man I had an attraction with on the first meeting my numbers would be in the thousands but my number is low. I just know it is part of my nature and for me I don't act on it because I bond so I do it for my own emotional well being.

    If you have had sex with the man three times I think you should be able to ask him what is going on in his mind. I sense that while you profess to be relaxed about having sex part of you is now attached to him. You want more than just sex but are afraid to just come out and say it to him.

  • don't ask yourself question. be honest with you and your feeling. you want to have sex? then do it

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 11
  • Well, if you are getting what you want, it isn't bad. But you did say you like the sex, so it seems to me that is what you are after more importantly than actually him. It becomes bad when you find out the sex is the only real good thing you have and it becomes another fling and nothing more.

  • Be yourself, you obviously did not loose interest. Just make sure he is in it for a relationship. Personally for me once tge sex barrier is broken i'd start expecting sex on our dates.

  • yep, wrong message indeed

  • Do whatever makes you happy.

    • yeah but just it is always said that you should make to guy chase you, so I don't know I am afraid that he will stop being interested in me, as a person.

    • The guy chases you until you start dating

  • My girlfriend and I pretty much have sex every date. Granted we waited 6 months before doing it the first time. Aeeingvas you enjoy sex with him I don't see why you should stop. I wouldn't have started, but seeing as you like it and have done it I would continue.

  • omg you must meet me and i should be the lucky guy lol
    but no.. dont do it in every date unless you know him and trust him enough...

    • so like for our next date for exemple, I am not gonna have sex just like we will drink or eat something and chat. This way he can see that I am not just interested in sex?

    • yes.. at least you will be showing you are not there for sex only... but you take him your home and have sex everytime.. its like u only want sex at the end.

  • Sounds good to me

  • If you enjoy having sex with him then do it

  • Just do whatever you want to do.

    Right now you are having a good time why would you want to fuck that up by playing silly games?

  • Guys may see it as just a hook up. He might not actually think your looking for serious relationship or he might just be using you for sex. In my opinion its better to wait a few dates so you know if he's really interested.

    If I went to a cafe with a girl then immediately had sex with her on that same, first cafe date. Not a romantic dinner, just a cafe, I would think she's just looking for a hook up buddy