I have a girlfriend, but I slept with a guy, because I was curious as to how it would feel. Is this considered as cheating?

I've been in this relationship with her for 5 years and lately I've had this urge to experience intercourse with a man. Now, this was a one night stand and nothing more, happened yesterday and didn't tell my girlfriend about it. I've been thinking about this for months and had this unsettling urge to the point it was really annoying. The guy was very attractive and sweet and he made me feel good. He actually texted me today and tried calling me, but I'm ignoring him, because I feel guilty. I know when I'll tell this to my girlfriend, she'll break up with me and I don't want that, but I also like this guy, because this experience was SO good, I still want it. Is this considered as cheating even though it was only a one night stand? Is it bad that I still want it?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, answer your question with a question: Have you told your s/o what you did? If not, why not?

    Sometimes we give away the nature of what we did by the way in which we do it. Put another way, if the shoe was on the other foot, how would you feel?

    We are sexual beings, I can totally understand why you did what you did. However, there are trade-offs in life, and when we give our life to someone, we foreclose certain options.

    You want, as the expression goes, to have your cake and to eat it too. Sorry, unless you told her before the fact and got her consent, this was out of bounds.

  • Cheating is any sexual activity with another person that you aren't completely open with your SO about UPFRONT. If you are hiding it, you are cheating. It's really simple.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Yes, it is considered as cheating, because you don't want her to know about this. See, deep down you know it's considered as cheating, because you know when you tell her, she's going to break up. You answered your own question. The best option is to have sex with this guy again and see how it will make you feel and see if you'll want it again, if yes, then break up with her (see the quote below). If not, stay with her, but if you're unsure, break up with her, or get some time alone and see what you really want and is the best for you.

    I have a girlfriend, but I slept with a guy, because I was curious as to how it would feel. Is this considered as cheating?
    • true

  • Yes basically the fact that you need to hide the fact that you sleep with someone else to your girlfriend. I think this is gonna be worse if she finds out because you still want to sleep with this guy and it won't always be a secret.
    To be fair to both you and her, you should talk with her about your feeling and confess to her and see how she reacts. A break up isn't bad. because she can make her own choice , and so do you , to figure out which sex orientation you want to take

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I don't believe you don't know this is cheating. You know. You are hoping someone justifies your bad behavior. Not cool.
    Your poor girlfriend didn't deserve that and you need to be honest and tell her. She has a right to know and to dump you.

  • You are in a relationship with someone and you had sex with someone else who isn't your significant other. That is the literal definition of cheating. It doesn't matter if it was a one night stand or a continuous affair. It is still cheating and yes it is bad that you still want it.

    You don't want your girlfriend to break up with you but that thought never occurred to you before you cheated? Tell her so she can find someone she actually deserves.

  • Uh yes its cheating. A five year relationship is what you destroyed.
    Since you clearly are confused as to what you want, your partner deserves to be told. You know damn well that you betrayed her.
    Break up with her and work on yourself for a bit.

  • Of course it’s cheating and you already know that

  • How could you possibly conclude that it is anything other than cheating?
    ~JSmith

    • I'm pretty confused if you didn't really notice. If I wouldn't be confused and could make a decision of my own that easily, I wouldn't ask this question. I'm not concluding anything here, I'm simply curious, seek answer, ask, get answer, satisfied. From that question of yours, I'm going to say that you think I DID cheat, in that case, thanks for your answer. Helpful! :)

    • Sorry if I came of flippant. Sometimes people are pretty disingenuous here. If you are seriously asking, yes, it is infidelity because you were with another person without first consulting with your partner. If you feel some urges to be with another man, you may be able to gain the consent of your partner by including her. Many women are at least curious enough about a menage a trois to try it---especially if it is with two men. Best wishes, ~JSmith

  • Hell no.

  • Yes it’s cheating. You don’t need strangers on the internet to tell you that

    • By asking this I think I just proved that I can't really decide if this is or isn't considered as cheating and it's my decision if I want strangers on the internet to tell me that. Thanks for your answer :)

  • Yes one-night stand is not less of a cheating, not matter how many times you had sex with the guy, you still had sex with him. But you can try pull a throuple out of it, as it's looks like you are bisexual, and that you want both a guy and a girl.

  • To me is cheating. She deserves to know. Why dont you tell her and see if she is ok with it or not?

  • Yes. And you already knew it.
    Tell your girlfriend.

  • No, I don't think so, because personally I don't take lesbian relationships or even gay relationship seriously. I don't mean that I hate and am against those relationships, they can do whatever they want, it's not like with my hate I'm gonna be able to change them or something. I just don't take it seriously, no explanation, that's how I feel. So, I don't really think that that's cheating. I suggest you stay with the guy, especially if he texted you next day (which is pretty rare) is excellent!

  • yes its cheating... you had sex. maybe you should find a girl who won't mind if you have male lovers sometimes. even better if she will join in

  • Yup, it's cheating, but it's good you decided to want to experience sex with a man, because that's normal.

  • Absolutely cheating.

    Even if your girl is ok with it, it is still cheating because you didn't get her ok before you did it, you went behind her back.

    The only way this would be cheating is if it is an open relationship and your girl is ok with you having sex with someone else.

    You cheated.

    If you get dumped you deserve it, just accept the natural consequences of your actions. She deserves to be able to choose rather than be tricked into this relationship up the guise of lies. Tell her and let the chips fall where they may. It is the right thing to do.

  • Of course it’s cheating!!!

  • Of course it is.

  • It's cheating in my book, I say talk to her anyways about it bc it's messed up to keep that from her, y'all talk let your feelings out and whatever happens happens, u can't get mad at her for leaving u if she does bc u cheated, you shouldn't have cheated if you didn't want her to leave

  • Yes, u r cheating.

  • Of course that'd cheating, why the fuck would you think it wasn't?

    • Oh i'm sorry that I couldn't make this decision. I think everybody has right on this website to ask whatever they seek answer to and personally, I seek answer to this question. This is why the fuck I would ask this question :) Oh and thanks for your answer.

  • Yes it is cheating. The fact that you don't want to tell her says it all - you too know that it's considered as cheating

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