Sexual Relationships
2 mo

I have a partner that doesn't like to have sex. What do I do?

I've tried several different approaches to the topic, but this really is hurting my feelings because he denies me every single time I ask.

He has a morning solo routine.
Claims he isn't cheating nor does he want someone else.
It's been like this since day one and we've been together almost 4yrs.

Could someone help me understand what to do?
Updates:
2 mo
Update: The topic of attachment styles has been brought to my attention and seems research into this subject will help me better understand my partner, but also myself. Thank you to everyone who answered.
0 1

Most Helpful Girls

  • Well have him see a doctor not right a man wants no sex unless there is something wrong or not hormones for it!

    My sister had a sexless marriage and after Thier first he just stopped. Latter found out he did not like her body after... Her body went right back to what it was.

    They talked and he got hormone shots and now 3 kids latter lol

  • either be with him anyway or break up with him. maybe he’s asexual.

    • Hm, I never thought of it that way. These modern terms for different sexualities are all new for me (I'm an early gen-x'er) and I had to Google for a definition. Asexual seems to fit his behaviors. At least now I can make another approach with a new understanding and ask him what he'd be comfortable with as a compromise resolution. Thank you.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I'll correct your question...

    *have a FRIEND that doesn't like to have sex. What do I do?

    *It's been like this since day one and we've been FRIENDS almost 4yrs.

    Now that I corrected your question, you can move forward. This guy isn't worth your time. Trust me I have been there.

  • You have accepted this for almost 4 years and stayed together. Something is wrong with him, but something is wrong with you for going along with that. Since you have not dumped him, you must like it that way. So there is nothing you need to do.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 14

  • Assuming you are not just a troll, you need to have your head examined. WHY have you been together for four years with someone who is not more than a platonic friend?

  • Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.

  • Find another partner.

  • Find someone new who love to have sex

  • I was a BULL on Reddit Hot-Wife sub-group, many females got their husband or boyfriend to open the relationship because they weren't having sex anymore, which is where I came in. I'd go bang their wives and GFs.

    Get your boyfriend to open the relationship

    • I have been seriously considering asking for an open relationship, and I think he might be ok with it, as he's previously mentioned (in passing during casual convo) the term "outsourcing", so I'll bring it up with that.

  • Masturbate or find a different partner.

  • I'm in the same situation. My wife lost her desire for sex 14 years ago. I've tried everything too. You can either leave him or satisfy yourself

  • Yikes... it is difficult to believe that you have a guy who does not like sex. No sex for 4 years I could not handle that

  • tell him you need to find a side piece of ass, male or female, if he doesn’t figure out what’s happening.

    • I've considered that for a long time. During a heated discussion, I remember him telling me to get a hold of an ex or get a friend. Floored me when he said that and I took it with a grain of salt since we were both upset. But I think I'll bring up the topic of open relationship n see what he says.

    • I would

  • I almost think he has a sidepiece or cheating on you. It could also he can be aroused or erection when he wants to. Maybe the best thing is couple counseling and see what is the root to the problem. If he is against and it still a problem sadly you might to have a divorce. Maybe if you don’t want a divorce ask him for a open marriage so you can fulfill your sexual needs.

    • I've wondered about the possibility of him having a sidepiece.

  • Why are you still with him?

  • Find someone else

  • I have this issue too. Maybe I need a extramarital friend… 🤔

  • Let us try everything to make it work and if you feel you are done trying then good bye

    • He does know that this issue hurts my feelings n understands my reasons. He does feel terrible for it and has offered a few options for temporary resolution while he self-reflects to work on the root cause. Thank you.

    • Welcome

  • Find someone else obviously

  • Find one that does

  • A man refuses sex? I think it’s time to find someone else, you’re not married so even easier to leave

  • Tell him you want an open relationship.

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