I have feelings for my hookup, should I tell him?

[Anonymous]

[BrileyCat]

are interpreting your physical attraction to him as a romantic interest?
it's ok to have feelings for him . but he's just a fuckboy . why would you tell him about them
in the first place? that could ruin everything and kill your friendship .
is it possible you're needing some appreciation from him you're not getting?
sometimes when i get needy to express my feelings to someone it's really bc i'm wanting
some reassurance they care. altho if you aren't that concerned . you can keep it all a secret
until he says something meaningful to you first .

but look he already thinks of you as a whore . sometime after you tell him your feelings
he will probably call you a whore . thats how lots of men are . either way . don't say anything .
actually . just drop him .

[BrileyCat]

at the top . * are you

[may04]

As someone who has had long-term friends-with-benefits situations, and developed feelings from it, you'll regret it if you don't say anything. There will always be the "what if" scenario in the back of your head, which in my opinion, is worse than rejection.

However, be prepared for the possibility that he's not going to feel the same way, and by bringing your feelings up, there's also a possibility that you'll lose whatever relationship/friendship you have with this person too. In my situation, myself and the person I was involved with stopped talking for quite some time. Eventually he reached out because he missed being friends and I accepted, but things haven't been the same since and probably never will be.

[may04]

Thanks for the MHO, I hope you found what you needed.

[confussionandguilt]

yes because, it will make things better wether he has the same feelings for you or not. If you tell him and he feels the same way, you will probably get more serious and if he doesn't, its better to know so you can either move on or stop looking at him as something more than just a hookup

[Paris13]

It sounds like a Friends with No... Benefits for you.
Silence is Golden right Now Somehow, Until you see that it Might Be Meant to Be.
Good Luck. xx

[Asker]

Thank you!

[Tony_1693]

I think you really need to evaluate the situation for what it is. You don't want to mess things up with this guy if you really like him. Here's what I'm prepared to offer. I'm willing to enact out this whole scenario with you for practice. We're going to have to fuck just to make it feel real. I've been saving my virginity for the right girl, but I'm prepared to offer you my virginity for the sake of you winning over this guy. Why? because I care. That way, you will feel prepared when you approach this guy with your feelings. Let me know your thoughts pink anon.

[Anonymous]

NO No no no no no !

Every female does this and we hate it. We want SEX not feelings.
We can have sex without emotions. We don't intend on it being more than that and girls who hook up are not girls we would ever want to "date". Those girls are not relationship material.

[Asker]

Yes I understand it and it has always been like that but with this one it's different and it has been a year so I was just wondering... Thanks for your opinion

[Poppykate]

Been here sweetheart! It sucks!

[Asker]

Actually it doesn't sucks that much because I just have a few feelings, I'm not in love so it's quite ok

[Poppykate]

Well, if it's just a few feelings... I would just discontinue seeing him. It seem like guys have no feelings, so what does it matter anyhow!

[Opinion Owner]

@Poppykate We have feelings, we just don't grow them through sex like women do and we don't want to grow them for women who are easy.

[Poppykate]

Who says women grow feelings through sex? 😒

[Opinion Owner]

@Poppykate Science. Oxytocin (The bonding chemical) release during foreplay, intercourse, and orgasm is high in women and estrogen enhances it's effects. Men have a small amount during orgasm but testosterone nullifies it's affects.
Men on the other hand have a huge release of Dopamine (the happy chemical) during foreplay and sex.
SO women bond during sex, men are simply euphoric.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3183515/
www.elitedaily.com/.../oxytocin-science-makes-harder-women-casual-sex
www.anewmode.com/.../

[Poppykate]

So how do men bond? 🤔... ohh wait.. they don't! 😒

[Opinion Owner]

@Poppykate Men bond way better than women because we are not fake and we don't underhandedly cut each other up to make ourselves feel better. Men can be real with each other and actually care about each other. We aren't "friends" for superficial reasons. We bond when we spend time doing an activity together, like fishing, playing sports, whatever, as long as it is with a guy because we can't be ourselves around women. They are to judgmental and shame or criticize us for anything that they don't understand about us because they are female and don't thing the same way.

[Poppykate]

Well not all women. If a woman asks you a question about this or that (in regards to what you are doing), don't take it as criticism. it's usually just curiosity. Also, I think that men build friendships for superficial reasons too. E. g. They bond other the guy who has the best car, the biggest boat, etc. so I don't think we are all that different

[Opinion Owner]

@Poppykate I can assure you that if a male does something that you do not understand, you will 100% criticize it. For example: You think guys bond with other dudes for superficial reasons. If a guy doesn't like another guy, we don't hang out with him no matter what he has that we may or may not like. It isn't in our nature to simply tolerate another male.

[Poppykate]

I hear you. I am having that problem at the moment. I don't want to hang with someone because I don't like them, and my sister is pushing me to like them. Her reason... 'you have to like them'. By the by, it wasn't criticism, just observation. I think most socializing, while essential, is superficial. Superficial in that everyone wears a mask, and is never able to be there true selves. I think, we are really only able to be our true selves, in close small groups or one-on-one. Thank you for explaining about the guys. That's pretty much how I do my friendships. You end up with much more authentic longterm friendships.

[southerngirl88]

I think you should, it's better to get it out and know how he feels than wonder what could have happened, even if your feelings aren't reciprocated

[Investigator]

All the guys are saying "yes, do it" and all the girls are saying "no, it's a trap". The girls probably see him playing her a mile away and the guys always look for another comrade to get the pussy. Reading more and more of the comments demonstrates how the sexes view social dynamics.

[freakyzeaky]

You should, but it is more a matter of how you express those feelings. I would just tell him that you like him a lot and that you would like to get to know him better. If you don't want to be so direct, just slip in some personal questions and see if he gets the hint that you like him more than just as a hook up. I'm sure you know the routine. Give him compliments, make him feel like you actually /like/ him. Flirt, but not just sexually. Tease him a bit.

Or you could take the plunge and tell him about this cool thing coming up and see if he would be willing to go. During that event, talk to him and ask him questions about his life. Get to know him. You may find out that he isn't as compatible as you once thought. That doesn't mean you can't be FWBs.

[OlderAndWiser]

He may have feelings for you and be afraid to tell you. He may be receptive to being for than just friends with benefits. You will never know unless you have a talk with him. If you don't have the talk, will you later regret that you let a potential opportunity slip away?

[ohshee]

I think you should maybe he has dreams and feelings for you too you never know if you don't make the first step it just might be amazing there's a reason why we all meet

[88flowers]

No, you shouldn't. You shouldn't be hooking up in the first place.

[GingerGuy]

It's interesting that more women think you shouldn't lol. You absolutely should! Because not telling him you're only risking MORE hurt down the road. Yes it's a risk, he may not share them, but it's best you know this NOW, not later when your feelings are stronger and the hurt will be even more intense! And who knows, he may share them and a wonderful relationship will happen. Regardless honesty and communication is extremely important. And if he doesn't share them, then you both need to decide what to do about it. You might have to end the relationship totally, for your own sake/feelings.

[FemWorship]

maybe more about how this hookup began, progressed and the SOP currently

[Asker]

One year ago we started hooking up together but then he became so sweet and carrying that I catch feelings for him..

[FemWorship]

"you have seduced more than my body" might be the opener you use

[Asker]

Not bad at all..

[FemWorship]

please... let us know the results

[Asker]

I will but I won't talk to him right now I will still enjoy sex a little more

[FemWorship]

THE MOST special thing he does sexually you love?

[Asker]

The most special thing is that it seems that our bodies make one I don't know how and why haja

[abundantlyrich]

No. Don't tell him if you want him to change for you.

[AndyD96]

Tell him. Attachment is a risk in hookups, but if both parties are into each other there is nothing wrong with that.

Tell him. There's a 50/50 chance he will feel the same way, but don't get your hopes too high as there is an equal chance that sex is all he ever wanted with you.

[Auctor]

Sure cuz at least you know where you stand. Oh and can you answer some of my questions by the way

[Asker]

Of course, ask me

[Auctor]

I'm talking about the questions that I have posted on my profile

[Asker]

Sure

[Asker]

But on another day, I have a lot to do now

[Joe_dough]

Nope respect the boundaries of the relationship! It is what it is don't try to change a good thing

[raspberry0416]

For your own sake, you should tell him. You're at the point where you either need him to step up or you need to end things.

[gGreat]

By expecting a guy to take you out on a date after hooking up with him, you are establishing yourself as a prostitute. Exchanging sex for something. Essentially that's what hooking up means, hookers right.
You could tell him and see how it goes. The risk is you would have to find someone else to 'hookup with'.

[Asker]

Why a prostitute? I dont expect to receive money

[gGreat]

It's not about the money, it's about the expectation of being considered a 'date', after starting the relationship (if one could call that) purely based on sexual transaction. Your side of equation has changed.

[Anon-ymous1]

Depends. How long have you been having sex?

[Asker]

More or less one year

[Anon-ymous1]

Then yeah, you should.

[blondfrog]

Depends on your relationship with him.

[Reincarnated_sóul]

Tell him but don't get hurt if he turns you down.
Be prepared for any thing.

[dontBshy]

A 👍

[TheSpartan]

Your first mistake was having a hookup.

[GayHowellMeme]

Do it.