I Have a Headache: Denying Sex

[panther]

Not all guys are ready and willing all the time. For those of you who fall into this category, you might be surprised at what this says to us. If I want some boo-tay and all you can give me is "Maybe another day", you might as well have said, "I'm just not that into you." If that is really the case then spit the words out now and spare me the embarrassment of trying any harder! If it is not, please read on.

How can it be that a girl you once couldn't get enough of suddenly feels as appealing to you as a night without TV? Don't try chalking it up to my insecurities. That's a cop out and we both know it. By withholding anything (either emotionally or physically) from me, you've already proved this relationship is unstable and that I am, in fact, undesirable to you.

The minute you've turned off the heat, I'll start thinking you're into someone else - literally! What am I supposed to believe? I haven't done anything differently. I didn't get my hair cut or stop shaving my legs. I haven't even farted in front of you, yet. Oops, I did do that one time. Was that it? Is that why you don't want me anymore?

Girls believe desirability and sexual satisfaction top all guys' must have lists. You have to admit that not so long ago those were probably the only two things you noticed about me. You were constantly checking me out from different angles, imagining what it would be like to attack me from all sides.

Then it all stopped. This made me nervous which, in turn, freaked you out! "What's the big deal?", you ask. "It's just sex. I'm tired. I work a lot. My boss' been ripping me a new one and now this! By the time I get home, all I want to do is sleep. Don't you realize that?" No. Problem is, like most guys, you probably keep those details to yourself. We girls are left wondering what went wrong.

Images of saline infused porn stars and pouty lipped models invade our mental space. As long as we think you're mentally with them, nothing else matters. If they're alive and well in your head, they might as well be living in your bed.

So if you're having a bad day, say so. If you're tired, say so. How much can, "Honey, you look absolutely hot but I'm tired and I've got work on my mind" really hurt? Opening up just might make you relax long enough to forget about your day altogether. If nothing else, it'll reassure us that you're mind is just somewhere else and we will drop the topic without sulking.

[lefthand]

People are stimulated by novelty. The problem is, of course, that novelty wears off and if that was the sole momentum for sex, there is a problem. Sex tapers down after the initial rush and you have to work at it. Some people take this lack of sex rush as proof the relationship is over. It isn't, it just requires more work on the part of both people.

I can't tell you how many people I know who aren't having sexing because their wife doesn't feel attractive, is too fat or just isn't interested.

[flgurl75]

I understand guys or girls who may not everytime. Or may have a legit reason for not wanting to sometimes. However, I know from my own expeirence that there can be guys who always have excuses for not wanting to every time. Like pulling teeth just get them in bed. It was all fine at 1st but then after awhile less and less was he interested in even doing anything. I didn't know that this issue could ever come from the make gender untill then.

[jdcpa]

This reminded me of "The Sex-Starved Wife"

[LilMiss]

Absolutely love this article! Wonderful job! I can relate to that completely and I'm going to have my bf read this so he understands where I'm coming from lol

[kenzo]

Miss communication I think :-)

and yeah it happened for both boys and girls, so please don't make us men look like animals.

cheers

[Thanatos]

As far as the communication goes, men are trained not to be open, we are generally called pussies or metro, or what have you if we do open up just the tiniest bit.

As far as not wanting sex goes, that is a double standard for men. If we want it too often we are considered pigs, and by the gods if we deny a woman her "right" for sex then something must be wrong with her or we're cheating or something, maybe we aren't in the mood for once, or too stressed did you ever consider that?

[WayTooPopular]

Great great article

bang up job girl

[alpinestars-2002795]

DITO this goes for girls with us guys as well... Don't think this just happens to girls.. I've had numerous girls say I'm not in the mood... maybe just maybe that's the thing you turned him down once or another girl and your getting the retribution of it?

[enrique_av8r]

The last paragraph/conclusion hits the nail on the head!

[Mii-Mii]

Wow the exact ideas of many girls! just needed someon articulate enough to write it all out!! I am definitely submitting this to all guys!!!

[MrAbbs]

When you first start dating someone, usually what first draws you is physical features with mental features as a secondary. Once you've been in a relationship for a week or so, it becomes about personality with physical features as a secondary. I don't know why women get to thinking that guys only care about the sex in a relationship. It isn't true at all, and if you love your boyfriend/girlfriend you should respect their wishes if they'd rather not have sex right when you ask them to.

[NickInVideo]

Wait, so this isn't a commentary on girls who use the line "I have a headache." interchangeably with "no"?

Instead, it's an article about girls being denied sex by their man? Wait what? I've never had a date or girlfriend proposition me for sex. Only been propositioned by one-night-stands.

Part of me thinks this is satire or a role reversal to illustrate something, but to what audience?

[DemsBones]

Wait, isn't it almost entirely women who do this? I've seen comedy central. I mean, I'll have sex whenever. it's like an hour, what's the big deal? if I'm playing a game I stop. ditto with anything else. lefthand has the right idea

[smashleyAshley]

I feel the exact same way. I think its because men get off visually, women get off more mentally. So with all the "perfect image" women exclusively displayed in the media, us normal looking girls have no chance at impressing our men anymore. damn sluts. Why is it that a man can go on and on about how hot that chick on tv, in a magazine, or at the mall is, but when his long term girlfriend entertain the idea of sex, he's not nearly as excited. Guys suck.

[MrAbbs]

Slut. If your boyfriend doesn't wanna have sex with you righgt when you demand it then respect his wishes. If you throw a tauntrm about it he'll never be attracted to you.