Sexual Relationships
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I lost my virginity late in life because of low confidence and self-esteem. Should I hate myself for this?

OK, so I didn't manage to lose my virginity until I was 22. I was always so shy and to be honest a late bloomer in lots of ways. I've had plenty of sex now but I still feel this deep shame and regret for taking so long. It's not like I can change it. I guess I just wasn't ready. Still thought how would you feel if you were with a guy who lost his virginity later than normal? I'd appreciate your thoughts and opinions girls. Thanks. 😊
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well I'm old so this probably not going to be relevant but this was more the norm in my day. Why are young people today so willing to trade something as precious as their virginity just because they think it denotes social status? Loss of virginity is a once in a lifetime experience that should enhance your life and memories. It should not be looked upon with "deep shame and regret".

    And since when did 22yo become "late in life". You're still just a pup with many interesting, exciting, and wonderful life experiences ahead of you.

  • Coming from a 34 year old male virgin, it effing sucks. I battle low self esteem and zero confidence on a daily basis. I see all these people around me have no problems getting laid and getting into relationships and it causes me to hate myself even more for not being able to find someone myself.

    • You will man, don't give up. I know exactly how you feel. I bet you're a sweet kind of guy that deserves a good woman. More so than an arrogant douchbag. I'm 32 now and single. I feel for you. You know what though these people are right. It doesn't matter. I can see that now. Some lovely lady will respect you and love you for who you are. Please don't give up. I wish you all the best mate.

Most Helpful Girls

  • What, no! You’re putting waaaaay too much importance on this. As someone who is 35, let me tell you that no women I know even really thinks of their first time anymore. There are just so many other things going on - friends & family, nature, books & movies, love, work, spiritual beliefs, parenting if you choose, etc. that you forget the societal notion that the first time means more than having a healthy sexuality overall.

  • Are you really gonna let that define who you are? Are you really gonna let society's standards tell you how you should feel about your sex life and when is okay to lose your virginity? I know you're stronger than that man

    • Thank you. You're right I am. 😊 it all stems from my last relationship. I wasn't really bothered before that. Thanks again.

  • I lost mine at 22. It was with my ex, who was also 22 and a virgin. I think it's a fine age to start having sex. You're an actual adult and can make responsible choices about it.

    • Thank you very much. 😊 that helps a lot.

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 12

  • Lol still one too

  • Ähhhh who cares?

  • Hell, I wish I could've held on to my virginity but unfortunately when I had just turned 14 this 18 or 19 year old girl forced sex on (She basically raped me bc I didn't want it).

  • There's no sex age I mean you lose it when you want it's your choice nothing called lateand even if, 22 is not late

  • Why does this bother you to the extent that it seems to?

    Deep shame and regret for taking so long isn't normal or healthy - let it go, mate.

  • That’s like a normal age

  • Im 22 and still a virgin :p
    Hating yourself for this is a stupid thing to do :)
    Stay blessed :)

    • I'm not a virgin anymore. I'm 32 now. But thanks. I guess I just feel insecure about the most ridiculous things. 😂 damn my stupid mind. Thank you for your opinion.

    • Oh yes you are insecure about something so ridiculous haha :p

  • You call 22 being a late bloomer? You're just a kid! I'm 47, and still have my virginity. Now, who's the late bloomer? Lol! You have nothing to worry about, seriously.

    • Thank you and good for you! 😊

    • I'm not bragging. I just find it amusing, how some people consider their 20s late in life, when it comes to their first time. I struggle with the same issues as you; low self-esteem and confidence issues. I'm also shy and introverted; probably why I've never been approached by anyone, and vice-versa. It convices me that I'm that undesirable, and it's not meant to be.

  • You or your parents. If they idn't teach you self esteem.

  • 22 isn't that late. It isn't a test. Either the right situations didn't come along or you weren't ready. Stop with the criticism

  • No you’re mature. If anything I would just think you’re unique

  • No way. I lost mine when I was 21. No big deal.

  • Why do you think 22 is late? That is normal? I mean a lot lose it by 19 but a lot don't.

  • no u should

  • I'm still a virgin. Who cares.

  • I'm the same guy. But I would have characterized it differently. I was shy and maybe a late bloomer. But I always felt that I deserved to be truly in love. I consider myself very selective.

  • Virginity for men is bad but good for women

  • Why do you feel shame for it i dont understand. I barely even remember my first time, no idea how old i was. Sex is basically an object to me, meaningless

  • Every persons path in life is different. Who gives a fuck to what is normal? I have a good friend who is quite 'the man' when it comes to this department, but he said to me "it dosn't make me better than you, because everyone is different." The only person you should ever compare yourself to is yourself yesterday.

    • Thanks man. I know that. I just wish I had a different path. 😂oh well thanks again.

    • I lost mine at 20. I was a late bloomer too you could say. You just can't let your past define you. I was a real bastard to people when I was 12/13 - I bullied people to be popular in high school. Today I am a client relationship manager and very good at my job. Your past certainly does not define you.

    • Thank you.

  • That's awesome , it's not the lust. Loosing virginity early goes with lust and it's true.

    But you had that self-control. But annonmous sex is highly dangerous.

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