I'm 17 . My boyfriend wants me to give him a blowjob and im not ready? help me please?

I'm 17. this is my first relationship. We have been dating for a month. He wants a blowjob. I feel uncomfortable. He feels i'm not open to romance. Always complains about my sex knowledge. I feel bad. i wanted to do something for him. But doing something which i feel uncomfortable makes me to feel nauseous. Moreover , my family background is very primitive and traditional. I feel like being forced to do blowjob. how can i make him understand?
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i always tell i'm uncomfortable but he tells he also needs pleasure from me. I dont know what to do.. it's just frustating. it's my first relationship. i'm scared to core..
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Don't let your boyfriend bully you. If he honestly cares about you then he will respect you and your feelings about sex.

    Know this, most guys will say and do just about anything to get what they want sexually. Your boyfriend is using your inexperience against you. That is NOT cool. And that's not what good boyfriends do.

    I had been dating my old high school boyfriend for a year back when I was 17. He really wanted to have sex but I told him I wanted to wait until I was 18, which I was only a couple months away from turning. But he replied that age was "just a number". At the time, I couldn't think of an argument against him so I went ahead and did it with him. I don't regret doing so, but many years later, when I had more maturity and life experience, I realized that he had coerced me into having sex before I was ready, and that wasn't right. A truly respectful, loving boyfriend does not guilt trip, manipulate, coerce, bully, or anything to get his girlfriend to do something sexually that she doesn't want to do.

    If your boyfriend doesn't back off, dump his ass. You deserve to be treated so much better than this.

  • First of all don't ever do anything that you're uncomfortable with, okay?
    You've only been going out for a month and he's already trying to guilt trip you into doing something you're not comfortable with.. that's a big warning sign.

    I'll tell you right now that there are guys that would never in a million years treat a girl like that.
    When I had been going out with my now fiancé for nearly 2 months he told me he didn't mind taking it slow, and that was BEFORE he knew I was a virgin. When I told him I was he didn't complain about my lack of experience, he was honoured that I wanted to be with him.

    I suggest you (preferably) dump him or you stand your ground.

    If one of your friends told you this, what advice would you give them?

  • 1) Just because you're in a relationship does not mean you are obligated to sleep with the person. Your dude sounds immature.

    2) You're not ready. It's truly as simple as that and if he's as selfish to continue pressuring you when you're not comfortable or receptive to his needs when he wants you to be, then he's not a good guy.

    3) Tell him the two points that I've already pointed out. A boyfriend is a man that will care for you and never try to coerce/manipulate you into doing something that you don't want to do (like blaming/shaming you in order to meet his BJ needs).

    I would also tell him to see if he can self-suck since he comes off as such a dick.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Understanding won't make him not want a blowjob.

    This isn't an 'understanding' issue. You "feel like" you're being forced. But you're not, actually, being forced. Actually you're getting what you want, which is no blowjobs happening, and he's being forced to go without. I'm not saying that to push things one way or the other, but that's what's happening.

    Where do you see things going a month from now, 6 months from now, physically? Is this a 'not quite ready' yet issue, or a 'don't want similar type of relationship' issue? Or possibly a 'he's asking for a specific sex act when you'd be more comfortable with other, comparable acts' issue.

    Communication will help him maybe understand how long he has to wait if it's the first, will help you two realize this won't work if it's two, and find another approach if it's the third.

  • very simply, you tell him "no."
    if he pushes the issue, drop his ass.
    you never, under any circumstance, in any kind or relationship, OWE anyone sex (just as they also do not owe it to you). At a certain point, it might be sort of expected, but even then, it has to be the kind of thing you agree to do.
    it has nothing to do with your family, religion, upbringing, or anything else, and everything to do with you being comfortable moving forward.
    So tell him no. And if he doesn't like that answer, leave him. Not being in a relationship can suck, and some people feel the need to be in one more intensely than others do. but being single is ALWAYS better than being in a bad relationship.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If you begin your sex life with something you don't like, it's bad.
    Sex is about trust and your boyfriend has to understand that. Never force yourself to do something you don't want to do or feel no ready to do. You will regret it that's for sure.
    Stand your grounds. saying no should be enough of an explanation. Saying you're ready is pretty obvious. He shouldn't need more reason than that and be more comprehensive.

  • Don't be a doormat or he will treat you like one. If he won't respect your wishes then you're with the wrong guy. The person you're with should never pressure of force you into anything, since he keeps pushing for one you ought to leave him. There are many fish in the sea.

    And don't give him one, it feels very unpleasant.

  • He doesn't have to understand. He needs to just accept your "no" instead of pushing you. Blowjobs are a big step - it took me YEARS just to get comfortable with the idea.

    If he won't accept it, then don't hesitate to leave him. Pushing for sexual acts, especially when you guys are so young, is a bad sign.

  • This is your 1st relationship--PLEASE don't start giving into demands that are this serious!!! That's how STD's are spread. It appears that he's experienced in this, so think about any girls he's had before you. Maybe you'll be ready to tell him where to go.
    I'm sure he gives the same old line "Everybody's doing it. If you love me you'll do it". That's when you tell him that if he loves you, he'll respect your decision.

  • Stand your ground! If you are uncomfortable with any aspect of sex and want to refrain from it, it is your choice and don't ever let anyone force you to do something you do not want to do.
    If he is a true boyfriend he will lay off the pressure and stand with you on the issue and truly be your boyfriend.
    If he still continues to pressure you or dumps you to get sex elsewhere for the first issue dump him and if it is the second consider it GOOD RIDDANCE!.

  • That's quite easy.. You have to simply tell him that you are neither ready nor feel comfortable in doing this.

  • You should leave him so he can find a girl that isn't a prude and will put it the same amount that he gives. You clearly aren't ready for an adult relationship. Maybe find a 13 year old to date?

    • Where's the down vote button when I need one!

    • @Charcicci Agreed

    • @Charcicci ^up-voting this comment.^

    • Show All
  • Please please please do not do anything you are not comfortable with! It's your choice to do what you want and when you want! If he doesn't like that it's too bad! Do not ever let a man pressure you into anything! You'll only regret it and end up resenting him! If he can't go at your pace then that's his loss but please do not do anything just to please a man! Ever! We've all been there and I know it's hard because you wanna make him happy but you'll hate yourself if you do something you're not ready to! I know it doesn't seem like it now but there's so much time to do that stuff there is no rush for you to be ready!

  • Don't let him guilt you into giving him head. He's just a hormonal teenager and he'll say and do anything to get you to feel bad, or feel like 'everyone else is doing it to their bfs'. Just keep telling him no and if he won't take no for an answer, then you should break up with him.

    Also, he doesn't "need pleasure" from you. He probably jerks off 3 or 4 times a day. He just WANTS pleasure from you.

    But seriously. . . say no until YOU are ready. Don't listen to the stupid crap he says because he's just saying it to try and get you to feel bad enough for him to do it. Just say no. No, no, no, no, no. And if he just doesn't stfu, then dump him.

  • use the power of "no", holy shit.

    • love how when people don't like what they hear they block lol

    • @skeptic007 she blocked you?

    • yup lol im too honest

  • it's a delicate subject and I went through this not long ago. Feel free to ask any questions privately if you wish.

    • i wish i could ask.. unable to message ya !

    • ahh because you are new? you can ask another question and add @tortelina and then I can write to you!

  • Head for the exit, girl. This relationship has no future.

  • Simple enough... tell him the hand still works at this stage! If he needs the sex more than he needs you, then he is not worth it!

  • Just tell him that you're not ready for that. He can't make you do something you're not ready to do.

  • If you aren't ready then, just tell him no and why ^^

  • Just say no to him. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    If he gets angry or tries to persuade/force you, he's not worth your time.

  • Leave him, he's only wants you for sex. He don't care about you or how uncomfortable you are, he just wants his needs met.

  • Just do it hon

  • Just say "No!"

  • Do don't have to do anythingh that you're not ready to do. He should fuck himself.

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